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Djs Aug 2013
2 a.m.
the alcohol starts to consume me
and the worse side of me prevails
flashes of anger, neverending madness
so i drink the sadness away
drowning memories of you in this bottle
flushing thoughts of you astray
now i'm nothing but nauseous
but i can still see you and your stupid face
and i scream and yell
these drinks have done me nothing but rage
and as i start to take my final sip
i start to crumble and break
cry as many tears as i've drank
sob as many breaths as i've had to take
extracting every single burden
in this horrible, vulnerable state
so i guess these bottles are my excuse
to let the hurting go away
but thoughts of you drive me insane
and though it's not enough
this will at least ease the pain
it's almost 4 a.m.
i'm still waiting for the sunlight's rays
still anticipating for better days

*-djs
Djs Jul 2013
in a city
where i cannot stay
off to an unknown town
i will fly away
for a new start
and better days
i'm only here
to be sane

thirty boxes
in which my whole life lays
packed and set to minimum
full and heavy luggages
pictures and books and letters
all memories packed away
with everything and everyone
i'm leaving in dismay
it's nobody's fault
i just need to get away

but in this dreadful city
my love stays
my source of happiness
and i simply cannot walk away
but in three years dear
he'd promised he will wait
in three years
back to this hell of a place
but not for too long
only to see my beloved's face
fill in the gaps of our missing time
once more to feel his embrace

but in time i will leave again
somewhere far away
a place i've never seen
where no one knows my name
and i will keep the same routine
pack, say goodbye, and fly away
consumed by wanderlust
stuck in a place for too long
i cannot stay

*-djs
Djs Jul 2013
under these thick covers
and above the soft pillows
i sink, and stay, and slither

alongside of the frozen window
and behind the closed doors
i look, and lay, and let go

crushed by thin walls
and these low ceilings
i find, and forget, and fall

though deep down this beauty
overcome with sleep
and yet i'm still queasy

because these covers
still have a scent of you
lingering all over

these popcorn ceilings
still have the vision of us
together smiling

and this plain white door
it's still waiting to be opened
cause it knows there's room for more

for you.

the blankets don't provide enough warmth
and extra pillows are still around
and this bed is still too big for one

but you're gone
and i know i'll only be with you in my sleep
after all that's been said and done

and though sleep is for the weak
the idea still fascinates me
being temporarily dead seven nights a week

but if it means having you by my side
i'll choose the real thing instead
cause i can't sleep without you even if i tried

*-djs
"I miss you" letters, #2.
Djs Jun 2013
ink running low
callus on my fingers
my rhyme with no flow
frozen creativity
limited words
blank thoughts within me
writer's block
my common enemy
brainwork in a rock
my mind unable to function
stuck and lost
no motivation
it's not that i cannot write
or brainstorm or draw but
i simply just cannot think tonight

*-djs
Djs May 2013
i desire to be with you
but to that i must refuse

your honesty
and undeniable charm
but it simply cannot be

your tender eyes
your foolish heart
i want them all
within your flawless acts
but i must repel

you have your own demons
       and so do i
you bear a hundred complications
       and times a hundred more is mine

you've endured a lot of things to be sane
        and i don't want to be another pain.

*-djs
Djs May 2013
You are the meaningful kind of poetry
That intimately speaks to me
Without a complaint or dilemma
Willingly writing each stanza

You are the best-selling story
I would love to be
Blissful lines joyful ending
Never tired of reading for living

You are the descriptive paragraph
Analyzing beauty in pain on my behalf
Something I deeply desire to feel
But unfortunately is not real

You are the ten-paged essay
I have been writing since May
Aspiring for motivation
Leaving no trace of emotion

You are the type of fiction
As close as I would find to perfection
Only found within my literature
Not my real life adventures

*-djs
Djs Aug 2013
See whenever I think about you
I stop breathing
And when I'm with you
Your oxygen starts filling
And filling and filling me in
Until I'm bloated with air
And I just want to give back the rest to you
So that we both can share

*-djs
Quick write, and I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Djs Jun 2013
My problems don't matter,
You say?
They're pointless, irrelevant,
You say?
Well what if I was to say,
They do?
They really do!
And don't you dare say,
That's not true!
For my troubles are as bothering
As yours too.
My complications messed up
Just like you.
And what if I was to say,
My problems
As dreadful as no day?
My thoughts
As dangerous as to slay?
Who are you,
To judge my bearings and
What I go through?
If I was to say,
Your problems are nothing
Would you forget them
Anyway?

*-djs

— The End —