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I miss
I miss the nights when things were different
I miss the nights when I asked what pokémon you caught
not what STD you got
I miss the fridays when we asked what you were doing
not, who you were *******
The nights when it was about us
and not them
the nights when we smiled
not cried
Why is it
why is it we want to grow up
instead of living
because before we know it
there wont be any time left to live
and we’ll be wishing to have it back
missing the nights when things we different
the nights when I didn’t have to worry about
losing you
the nights when you remember
what happened
the nights when
you didn’t have to ask others
what happened
when will it end
the nights when
you don’t come home
you don’t call for a ride
and you don’t come back.
because one day
people will be saying
boy I knew her when
when things were different
the nights when partying
meant cake and weird hats
not drugs and bad tat’s
all I’m trying to say is not
how to live your life
but to live your life
people say you only live once
thats true
but
you only die once
don’t make that once
because you were young
and stupid
remember
remember the days when
you could walk yourself to the car
the nights when drinking
meant juice
and higher
meant on a swing
and the only thing getting baked
were cookies.
Now
the twisted meanings
are your life
were your life
when the nights
were different.
I could
so easily fall now
if I believed you would
catch me

I could so easily
I could
I could

but would your arms be beckoning
or waving me



Goodbye.
The touch of your hand startles me.
Your voice calling my name out seemed so loud in the darkness all around.
Where am I?  Where did everyone go?
I'm I the only one still here?
I feel so dizzy, tired, and weak.

The heat of your body so close, it mesmerizes.
The smell of sweet, sweaty skin, it warms me.
Your eyes are raging with desire like no other I've ever seen.
Our lips tremble as they meet.
What are you doing?
I can't help but keep thinking.
The sweet taste of your lips is suddenly locked with mine.
Your hands grab my face as you pull me in closer.
I am unsure and unaware of what is to come next...
The sparkle in your eyes was showing your strong intensity that was so deep.

The force of your body on top of me so suddenly.
The tongue comes all to quick.
The softness in your voice, it was entrancing me,
Pulling me in.

You were telling me things every girl loves to hear.
Where is everyone?  I look around wondering....
I just need to tell you something.
Tell you to stop.
I couldn't say anything.
I tried to speak, but there was no voice to be found.
Stop!

Your touch I've never felt before.
Not like this.
I am there, but not how I should be.
I felt so drunk, so weak.
This is something I've never had before.
But it is not how I would like it to be.
I just want you to stop!

You press on.
The force of you is stronger than before.
You continue.
I look into your eyes for some sign of comfort.
There is none.
You seemed so far away, and didn't even look at me.
It seems you aren't the person that I know.
You aren't the friend that I've known for so many years.
I realize that you don't care for me, not in this way.
I 'm confused, and you used me only because I was there.
I begin to wonder how long can this go on?

I pull away and you pull me back.
I push you away, but you just don't stop.
You only try to kiss me harder.
Can't you see that I am not enjoying this?
I pull you off telling you once more in desperation to please stop.

Our heavy breathing trails off in the cool darkness of the room that was such hot, uncomfortable, forced passion a short time ago.
I push you away one final time saying, "No more!"
I look around to find someone to tell.
There is no one anywhere.

Both of us back away stunned, realizing the shameful act of what just happened.
Not really knowing the effects that will come in the future and how our friendship got lost.
You leave me laying on the floor.
I lay awake trying to make sense of it all.
What happened to the person I thought I knew?
I felt so ***** and used.
I fall fast asleep, curled in a ball.

I wake in the morning hoping to find that it was all but a bad dream.
Like it didn't even happen,  I don't want to believe.
But it did happen and I will never forgive.
I will never look at you the same.
I didn't like how you made me feel.
Now I just look at you trying to remember how those events came about that night.
I don't even remember.
I just feel your tongue in my mouth.
I feel your kiss which started out soft and sweet,
How I wanted them to stay that way, which they did not.

I try and block it all out,
But I see you again and again, everyday in the halls.
The worst part is that you act just the same, like nothing even happened at all,
That you are my same old friend.
I can never trust you again,
I feel you are no longer even a friend.
What happened?
It was a big mistake.

All I see when I look at you now is a split second in my mind of you kissing so hard,
Holding me down and forcing yourself on top of me.
How could you do this to me?
You were my friend,
Now not even that because you don't seem the same.
Our friendship got lost because of your reckless actions.

Now I know who you really are.
I saw you in a different light that night,
A light most people don't get to see from you.
I saw your light, that turned into your darkness.
There will be no more.
I can't take the feeling.
The feeling which seemed so nice at first, only for it to take the opposite direction with no warning,
And left without a reason.
I feel used and confused by you,
How can you pretend to be someone different to everyone else.
I've seen the real you, I've seen the darkness in you.

It's for the best that we didn't go farther, or do more than we did,
I regret enough already.
I think you destroyed our relationship because of this.
Still a vision brings me back sometimes...
I see your intense eyes, that didn't seem like you on that night,
I see your darkened face looking down upon me and the sweaty flesh smell that filled me within',
Farther than we it seems, because everyday I try to forget.
All becomes a bad memory on the hot August night which ended for the best.
All my life
I sought
an angel.
And he appeared
in order to say:
"I am no angel !"
Drained from the world she stands alone,
Without a partner to come home.
Many people have tried to conquer,
but, have failed to obtain her.
Does she reach for that which does not exist?
Or is she lingering on that soulful wish?
The light of her soul shines bright through her eyes,
& if you look deep in them you can hear her weary cries.
Screaming so loud yet stuck on mute,
Yet she throws them off because she's so cute.
They don't know.. how her heart cramps at night,
& how she holds her pillow o so tight.
Just for pretend to fill the empty space,
Trying hard to imagine him in the pillows place.
Why is he taking so long?
She is waiting, where you belong.
Touch me where no other has

deep

within my heart.
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