Oh how many times I verged on insanity,
I wanted to send my hearts notice,
Everyday,
But I convinced myself that,
There won't be a reality where ,
You remotely still have feelings for me,
So my heart goes unheard,
And my voice slowly starts to shake,
For there is so much I wanted to tell you.

Candle wax, Bees wax,
I sat in my slacks,
Checking over my facts.
I am a guy, check,
I am a cool guy, check,
I am an incredible cool guy, check.
List after list of self motivation,
Maintaining my hearts palpitations,
After a while of checking lists after lists,
I found myself falling from the realm of facts,
Into a realm of fiction.
It almost became an addiction,
Into self delusion that I was better than I really am,
But who really cares.....

        I am me,
And I am cool,
I am an incredible cool guy.

I watched a world burn down
The greatest minds and hearts,
Where ash covered lost towns
I saw the destruction of art.

Some say it didn't happen,
Some say it never mattered,
I witnessed skyscrapers flattenend
And glass shards scattered.

I watched universes collapse
To essentially nothing but dust
And when I wanted to relax
I watched my reality rust.

I watched people destroy too many books
And too many lives
And too many universes
And too many worlds
For one lifetime

You can make a house into a home
But you can not make a home into a house.

Build the bricks with clay and shale
But reinforce it with memories
Reinforce it with all the inner emotions.

Place a roof made of tiles or veneer
But reinforce it with warmth
Reinforce it with the care you need.

Turn the walls and a roof
Into more than just walls and roof
Turn a house into a home.

Life isn't a race,
It isn't a marathon,
Neither is it a paragon.
We live as we breathe,
We die and we leave,
But when the night ends,
Morning is across the corner,
Right where the road bends,
Is where we find ourselves.

As we live,
We await to see another day.

Home is where the heart is,
Home is where love resides,
Whether it'll be rocket rides,
Where kids seek and hides,
Where one confides,
Home is where love resides.

I am an adult,
No longer the kid I was,
the kid that chased wasps,
ordered ants to battle,
the one to enjoy a bike saddle,
now those are like colonoscopy,
an unpleasant pinch to me.

I could remember,
the feel of the grass on my sole,
As I ran through a field,
Feeling somehow very whole.
Completely oblivious to,
growing up,
where smiling was enough,
and happiness was trying to look up.

I am not the kid I use to be,
I wish I could be,
But the kid that chased bees,
No longer exists in this world.

Go and hide,
I'll get the shovel,
Where's your pride,
Why the scuffle?

The police are coming,
I said conceal yourself,
Stop your bumbling,
You need my help.

Police will find us,
If you don't vanish,
You have my trust,
Forget the anguish.

Behind the trees,
Don't make a noise,
Don't even sneeze,
Where's your boys?

GOD DAMM IT. THEY FOUND ME.

Guess I'll count to 20.

You guys go hide.

Seekers are cops

Hiders are robbers.

Welcome to a cross between cop seekers and robber hiders.

We fell apart,
Before we even knew where to start,
Because all along, everything I did for you was from the heart.

I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
I remember seeing stars
within each and every stare
But now I can't recant the thought,
Universes may sometimes implode
The same way a hurting heart
keeps the heartbeats on hold;
And sometimes muffled long enough
You'll realise the screaming silence
is a sign that 'you no longer love'.
For some it is sadness, some it is joyous;
But for me, it is closure.

I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
and I'm glad I got to see
all that was stored behind
the blue sky you had for eyes.
Our chapter was never mine,
It had been yours all along
And with memories tarnished and gone,
I can only do so much as to say thank you.

I fell too hard,
Too quickly,
And I didn't get,
Bumps and bruises,
Or grazes and scratches,
I got a hole in my heart.

He picked up the dead rat and threw it on the table**,
We as freshmen of high school were always told this fable,
Of the great disgusting James who had no shame,
Oh but no one looked around and put autism to blame,
So while James is being poked fun at,
There's a dead rat at the table we sat.

In a world of wireless connection;
Sometimes it's hard to feel connected
This wasn't the situation with you,
You have turned grey skies blue
And made my heart pump joy
as though happiness was not another ploy.
I've bled the blood of broken hearts
But with you by my side;
I can fall asleep at night,
knowing that these thoughts won't exist.
With you, with me, with us
there are no broken hearts,
just us.

Till the end of time,
Remind me that you are mine,
Because my heart, my soul;
it's all for you.

Haha that song, although premature,
Was surprisingly accurate.
We don't talk anymore and we won't ever again.
Should i be feeling what I'm feeling?
Meh
I guess its all for the better.
You'll find someone better.
I'll find something.
But as tide comes and goes,
It had been fun.
Thank you.

Everytime someone asked me,
'What is love?'
I would reply with simply,
'Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more'.

Now that I have experienced love,
My answer to the question,
'What is love?'
My reply will always be,
'Baby please fix me,
I'm lonely,
Help me'.

Knowing that I still
And knowing that you never will,
In the end, the pain is still the same...

I have always enjoyed getting and being lost,
New things to find, to discover no matter what the cost,
New faces and memories turn to photos remaining glossed,
Energy and time left to expend and exhaust,
In hopes I fall at two roads like Robert Frost,
Because by getting lost, we come across,
different things like a coin, we would have thrown or tossed.
I have always enjoyed getting and being lost.

Monochromatic
Addict.
Black
Or
Blue.
Nothing
But
A
Coating
Of
Bla­ck
Or
Blue.
Sometimes a hint of only grey to finish.

Why does you car sound like its having diarrhoea,
Why couldn't you drive something like a kia,
More quiet and peaceful than that humming earthquake,
Our house literally began to shake,
Waking up the baby and everyone in the house hold,
Let me tell you something that you weren't told,
The louder the car does not mean the bigger the ****,
Just means the wall that is you has more bricks,
If you don't get that it's probably cause you're dumb.
So please either sell your car or remove whatever,
**** heap piece you added thats making me lose sleep.
My patience and anger for now will keep,
But you don't want to see me after a night of no sleep,
I am warning you.

A birdy once told me,
It is not who you are,
that makes the difference,
it is what you're
able to become
that defines who
you really are.

Though surrounded by intoxicated
personalities
Hurting and dragging you down
Somehow
You rose to be a pure soul
Who knows
What it is like to put family
Ahead of themselves.
You deserve the world
And I'm hoping one day
Someone can give you the world,
Maybe one without any inebriating possibilities.

You don't have to be perfect.
You don't have to be good.
You don't have to be anything
But yourself.

Which self you ask?
The self that you want to be.
The one that you recognize.

Please remember no matter what
My heart is still with you.

Remember my words,
I love you now and forever.

Remember your own words too.
Even if they were fake,
They are really true.

Please oh please don't give up.

You're so busy lately, I miss your beautiful face.
I miss your adorable smile and how my heart skips it's pace.
It still beats in tandem but I still miss your voice,
I really wish we had more of a choice.
I miss everything about you and right now i feel lonely,
Even in company I still feel as thought I'm the one and only.

When will you not be busy?
When is later?
Is later still a timeframe in existence?

Me and my friend both got horse riding lessons,
The two horses begun to speak to one another,
At first we couldn't understand the messages,
But then we listened closer and we heard,
One of the horses said "NAY!"

Out of the twenty horses in the stable,
I think I rode on the one that,
Was trying to sell drugs to other horses.
Why else would the horse say "Nay"

Cause even in my mind,
You're all that I want,
But a heart so unkind,
With your heartbreak taunt.

I saw your mind,
I said *******,
Not on the darkness that lurked around,
But on the fact that you think you're a waste of space.
To me,
You will be the best,
The thought of perfection surrounds you,
So when you think I was afraid of the darkness inside,
And getting upset,
It was not because you shown me the darkness,
It was because you concocted,
A thought that you are underserving of life,
When I could not see anyone,
No one on the whole Earth,
More deserving of life,
Than you.

I was just getting to love myself the most
But then you stumbled into my life
And I no longer know whether
In the future I'll still love myself the most anymore.

Ringing in my ears,
Shivering from fears,
It's setting in again,
Locked in a den,
The panic attack,
No more heart track.

When will my mind forget,
Or am I just not ready yet?

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder*,
But I have grown to be blind,
Because you will always be beautiful,
For your heart that is so kind.

I danced around the tables,
Sang songs in the steamy showers,
I told my reckless fables,
And I repeat it hour after hours.

I am finally hitting a stride of joy,
As though my sadness and concern,
Vanished to never return,
I am finally happy.

Set phasers to the moon,
Elevate the rocket,
I knew it was just a phase.

Don't weep tears for those who won't weep for you,
Don't tilt till the grass becomes blue.

STOP CRYING YOU IDIOT.
GET UP AND MOVE ON

I am not a poet because I lack maturity,
My writing will always be tainted straying from purity,
There may be days I write my heart and soul,
But no matter how much I write I never feel whole.
I saw the world for its beauty but also its evils,
I've seen people be nice but also be decietful.
I am not a poet for I still find the word **** funny,
But I am fine being me,
Seeing the things I prefer to see.
My immaturity is what makes me how I am,
And if people refuse to accept that part of me,
Then I no longer require them in my life.
Immaturity does not mean I'm never serious,
It simply means I can distort my childlike side into this reality,
In a world where I'm taking orders from bosses,
Taking insults from university professors,
Why can't I retain my child like mind?
I am serious elsewhere, I am a stick in hay at work,
I am everything proper and mature,
But can't I be me when I want to be,
...
Why can't i just keep my childlike humour.
...

Memories fade in and out
It is without a doubt
There's just no way to forget
This deep feeling of regret
For not being better than I am
But you're as far as Uncle Sam
So when tales or two are told
There's always that lack of hold
That keeps a hole between two
The pain ever so true
Distance is a grudge harbouring mistress
And difference is a hateful princess.
So now that you're indifferent about me
My feelings haven't changed selflessly,
I must let you move on, no matter how much I want you back,
But if I could rewind time like a vinyl track,
I'll rewind it to where I first talked to you,
When I was coated in nothing but blue,
But you helped coloured me in rainbow,
I still love you but all I can do is say so...
Should have known to let you fly free,
Even when I felt stuck and lost at sea,
Should not have been the shackles holding you down,
Should not even make a sound....
But somehow I betray my conscience,
Because you were my drug of dependence,
And I can do nothing but say sorry,
For the chains, the shackles, the locks and lack of key.
Go fly free with your new lover dear,
And when it gets all dark, don't fear
For you found the light you deserved,
As for I, I'll make myself reserved.
One thing though, don't seal your mind with a lock,
No matter how dark,there are people willing to knock,
And try to understand you.
It'll all be somewhat new,
But don't shut yourself off.
You deserve the world.
But the world doesn't deserve you.

Memory is truly fickle,
Unable to describe songs,
Yet can taste a pickle,
For its taste being wrong.

The human mind is trained,
To remember the tainted,
The sounds of an ankle sprained,
Over the painting an artist painted.

We remember the heartaches and pain,
But we forget the beauty prior,
We rarely ever complain,
About the dance but complain about perspire.

Two things makes me feel concerned
You're not ok and seriously hurt
or
You're out with your new boyfriend,
I prefer the latter.
As long as you are safe and happy,
I know I would be able to live with myself.

I once climbed to the
mountains summit and to sum
it up, it was great

Love is like a play on a stage,
There are new things to discover,
With every turn of the page,
A stronger bond between two lovers.

Love is like a novel,
It isn't about who wins or lose,
It isn't about who grovels,
Testing the sanctity of feelings infuse.

Love is like a poem,
So beautiful and meaningful,
It isn't about 'lets show em',
But more of feelings that are powerful.

Love is like a dictionary,
For it is filled with meaning,
And hearts never stay stationary,
When a cast of light is beaming.

Love is like a textbook,
It might be fake or real,
But if hearts did shook,
Then love is very ideal.

Love is like ....
Two roses sitting in a field of ****,
Both very alike,
But both very different indeed.

Love is like. ....
Something that moves people,
Two wheels on a bike,
Connected like books in a sequel.

Cinderella had a missing shoe,
In my life that shoe is on fire,
That ball gave people food poisoning.

Sleeping beauty had a prince to kiss her awake,
In my life alcohol poisoning keeps you asleep.

Snow white had seven dwarves to aid her,
In my life I have endless loneliness.

**** fairytales.

Everything that I have loved have lied
And every dove has died.
Every shove, i have sighed.
And every time, i want to die.
         Least that phase passes.

Day by day I could feel your fingers start to release,
You're no longer as in love with me as you were,
I'm afraid one day our dreams and our reality halts,
When we'd both stand separately staring at the sea shore.

I feel it stronger everyday,
My love for you that is,
But I can feel you withdrawing,
And our hands became lonely.

Have you stopped loving me?
For I have never stopped loving you,
Or was this unrequited the whole time?

Rise above the inferno that incinerated everything,
Hold your head to the flames that scatter everywhere,
And realise that the fire that once burnt the world,
Is nothing but an illusion imagined into existence,
By the works of deluded minds who saw joy in pain.

Slowly the Earth will burn one day at a time,
When that time comes, the skies will cherish the moments,
For the sun and the sky has finally been apart.

Congratulations to all who found love.
Happy valentines day.

I finally said,
It is now time to move on,
little did i know....

You already have,
I was a fool for trying,
Should have left intact.....

We'd smoke **** till we'd pronounce we'd as ****.
The smog clears up and what's left is what's right.

I held myself up,
When they tried to hold me down,
Surprisingly strong enough,
To lift myself without a frown.

They held my head down the water,
Expecting that I would drown,
But I will not stand in front of god's alter,
For I am lifting my head and going to town.

I have become friends with loneliness and I am a lonely guy,
"I am the most popular person anywhere," I lie, I lie.
My friends are the clouds that leap out of the sky,
And my heart belongs to those who leave and say bye.

In a fictionalised world,
And in my recurring dreams,
You became my wife.
You remained in love with me.
I don't have to say I miss you,
Because you never left.
I don't have to feel heartbreak,
Because it never happened.
You never grew to hate me.
But then what good is fiction
When reality is all that we have.

Sleep evades me,
My dark surly bonds,
To my old acquaintance,
Holds on tight,
Imperishable,
Insosmnia,
Is truly the writers
Affliction

As time passes,
I'm not missing you any less,
And even with new glasses,
I'm looking like a mess.

So even tomorrow morning,
The tears keep coming,
But it's my own mourning,
For sending you running.

You've found someone better,
And now a regret,
So as memories become treasure,
I will never forget.

You've moved on already,
And I'm so pathetic.

If I were to meet you in another life,
I would take the same exact steps,
In hopes that one of those lives you'd stay,
Or somehow come back.

I'm a ******* idiot....
But all the best dear.