If I were to say I love you,
It means I would have your back when times a tough,
But no mere words are simply ever enough,
To describe the elevated heart rates and how it goes into a cuff,
Locking itself into nothing but your embrace.

I want to love you,
The way an astronaut loves space,
To love you when there's really nothing to taste,
And even if the world slowed you down in terms of pace,
I want to be the one to hold you up with my racing heart rate,
And tell you I want to love you like an astronaut loves space,
And in my eyes you will never be a waste of space.

I want to love you,
The way the stars love the moon,
Not somewhere in the morning or at noon,
I want to love you even if you were the darkest rune,
A fixture of nothing but dust and bones spoiling soon,
I want to love you.

I want to love you,
The way a mother bird loves its baby birds in the nest,
The way it embraces them in her arms even if they are a mess,
The way she chews on worms to feed them before herself,
That's a true test,
A true test of what love blessed,
From above surely will seem like.
I want to love you like a mother bird loves its kids.

I want to love you,
In the way a pilot loves to fly,
Soaring throughout the sky,
Nothing but your hand to hold up high,
Your warmth penetrating into my soul, nothing could go awry.
I want to love you like a pilot loves to fly

They said I could never be loved,
because my hair wasn't cool,
my fashion sense wasn't hot,
and I had a microscopic tool.

They said I could never be loved,
that I was a disfigured freak,
And along with that ,
I was somewhat of a geek.

They said I could never be loved,
because unlike a star I had no charm,
just a presence without any meaning,
like some ordinary cow at a farm.

I remember meeting a boy like me,
who enjoyed more of the scenic routes,
Who lacked confidence like me,
and never really asked any girls out.

I remember meeting a boy like me,
who knew of what love truly meant,
I remember meeting a boy like me,
Who had a girl to help straighten his world when it bent.

If I had listened to how many times they said I couldn't run,
I would have walked my whole life step by step,
But I, trusting my own confidence believed,
That if superman could somehow leap,
I could run.

And

If I didn't run,
I would never had the chance to experience the summer sun,
Wind dashing through my hair so I had my hair in a bun,
The grass and sounds passing me oh the laughter and fun,
The dashing haste at the smell and the sound of the gun,
I did run.

For I will never let someone tell me what I can or can't do,
Because one day people will convince me the sky isn't blue,
And if I've been so used to listening to others, what choice but to subdue,
my own voice and my own opinions even if they were true...

I will never let someone tell me what I can or can't do...

Through an open field, from one end to another, I chose to run,
And even if I had a limp, a bad ankle or a weak stride, I chose to run,
So when the cloud poured hell on me and I slipped, I chose to run,
I could run....

                        Even when they said that I had weighed a tonne,
And anything whale size couldn't run,
                         I showed them that I could run,
And the light of the sun hitting my skin I knew I wasn't done.

I have walked, I have ran.....
                      And I plan to fly,
              Simply because I would be proving a lie,
That humans aren't ever meant to soar into the sky,
               To leap out of the shackles that is Earth and fly...

I have become friends with loneliness and I am a lonely guy,
"I am the most popular person anywhere," I lie, I lie.
My friends are the clouds that leap out of the sky,
And my heart belongs to those who leave and say bye.

We danced, coated in the scent of musky sweat,
Entranced by the nature of her husky voice and the way we met,
We locked eyes and I started to get wet,
From sweat and not that other liquid.
Her eyes still on me as she argued and bickered,
With some other dancer who was also a babysitter,
They argued over how to raise a child to be well behaved,
That argument led to the revelation of how her life was saved,
By dancing.

Quick and solemn movements with a little flexibility,
The way she moved had me questioning her mobility.
Was she a natural born or did she develop this ability?
Her hip sways as fluid like she was in a sea of tranquility,
But I couldn't help but think she is beyond my capability...

So I never asked her out.
It wasn't for a lack of confidence but possessing doubt,
But as our bodies moved together out and about,
I could see her eyes giving off an inaudible shout,
She finally spoke to me, a pouring rain after a drought,
"There's so many fish in the sea but I finally found my trout".

Night creeps in and I realize day ends,
But it doesn't matter because we are still friends.
Your word of teenage wisdom,
Helped me break free from my mental system,
The encouragement you gave,
Built stronger everyday like a sea's wave.
So through all of it,
I can't wait another minute,
To say thank you.
For making me less blue.

Chasing you is like chasing doves in the sky,
Without a set of wings or an ability to fly.
Chasing you is like chasing ashes floating on the wind,
As though there is anything left to chase from the singe.
Chasing you is like a dog running in circles chasing its tail,
While having a leash on its neck and tied to a metal rail.
Chasing you is like following stars in a car for many miles,
Impossible to reach even if I form a bridge from infinite tiles.
Chasing you is like a summers day in winter.

Do you feel like a window with no glass?
The way it's holding intact but lets everything pass,
Do you feel like a chair with a missing leg?
The way it can break any minute like an egg.
Do you feel like a book without any words?
The way you can be read but rarely ever heard.
Do you feel like a cow without its moos?
The way your voice goes unheard and unused.
Do you feel like a bird without wings?
The way you feel so trapped like you're bounded by rings.
Do you feel like a heart without a ribcage?
The way a book can be understood without turning a page.

What do I use to mend my heart?
When I had a bruise, I left it to heal.
When I had a cut, I had bandages.
When I had pains, I had painkillers.
When I had coughs, I had cough meds.
When I had a broken heart,
**.... I had nothing.

They scream my name out of anger,
If I held my head up high,
They would cut me down.
If I held my head down low,
They raise me up,
Just to cut at me once more.

I was moulded into who I am,
A fake exteriorior, I was a scam,
I ate rugged food like lamb,
Because I am a man.
I am a man,
That's why I take the blame,
For all wrongs, it's the same,
I am the one to hold my head in shame,
Because I am a man.
I hold my tough exterior,
When I feel inferior,
I let the world see I'm a warrior,
And not a worrier.

But

I never felt like a man,
I held myself in bathroom stalls,
Cried myself on bathroom floors,
Like tears of the shores,
which form the beaches.
Of all the strength that I preach,
I could never ever beseech
For help,
Because I am a man.

An outdated notion of man,
Now I look around and know I can,
I no longer hide in bathrooms,
Encasing myself like I'm in tombs,
For when I decay in my own tears,
I leave myself open to the worlds' ears,
I no longer hide to cry,
Because I am a man.

I take the same blame,
Playing the same game,
Not because I'm taught or tamed,
It was because if I didn't fess to it,
So as a man,
It is only natural for me to say
Sorry,
A million times.

I try and I try,
But I can never seem to forget you.
I speak to the stars,
Oh how I beg of them to rid my mind of you.
They spoke back through beacons of light,
They said  
             "Your mind may forget them, but your heart surely won't".
I asked them once more,
                     "What do I do?"...
The stars spoke in response
       * "They are like pluto to you, although their label changes,
    their value in your life hasn't change, the beauty they held doesn't change, they haven't changed and the only thing that has changed is what you are allowed to call them. Same way the PLANET Pluto is still in our hearts, they are still in yours"*...

I laid back to bed, completely bewildered by the strange response,
And
......Fell asleep with the thought of you in my mind, and your face in my heart.

I laid in shock last night,
For I had seen a ghost.
I saw everything I was,
And everything I am,
And begun to cry.
I saw the ghost,
Of my past self,
Calling me back to it,
Screaming out my name.
It wanted so badly,
For me to be like it again.
**I guess that's why it's so hard to change

"You are exactly opposite of what I want",
"You are way below my expectations",
"You are just here so I get experience",
"You shouldn't talk, you're not an expert",
"You aren't exempt from driving me all the time",
"You're so ugly like a ghost, you need an exorcism".

**Until I became her EX.

Thank you to mystery girl,
Who showed me life can still be fun.
Thank you to Lucinda
Who showed me I'm not as bad as my mind sees.
Thank you to SPT
Who showed me what being a grown up really means.
That sometimes life will not be in your favour,
But still enjoy it.
Thank you to Nameless
Who showed me that there's always someone who can help,
That sometimes giving up is the best option.
Thank you to Impeccable Space Poettess,
Who showed me that sometimes a little care goes a long way,
Thank you to Julie
Who showed me that no matter how heavy a heartbreak is,
It will come to pass.
That although people walk different paths,
The experiences are similar.
Thank you to Mandie
Who showed me that if you follow your dreams,
You will find your happy place.

My heart isn't a toy,
Don't play with it.....
........
.......
.....
....
...
..
Please?

For when a bad day creeps in and you ***...

How can you say
Goodbye to something
you never had?

And that was your heart to me.

Me and my friend both got horse riding lessons,
The two horses begun to speak to one another,
At first we couldn't understand the messages,
But then we listened closer and we heard,
One of the horses said "NAY!"

Out of the twenty horses in the stable,
I think I rode on the one that,
Was trying to sell drugs to other horses.
Why else would the horse say "Nay"

If you've ever had the chance to message me,
You'll realise at times I'll use the word ****.
Its nonsensical in a way but for me it meant more.
**** was the first word I can recall my late father saying.
**** was the word that brought laughter when I was sad.
**** still remains to have nostalgic value to me.
**** reminds me of the times when I pooped my pants,
And had people help me clean myself up.
In a way that **** and pants story reflects moments,
Moments in my life in which I became a horrid mess.
**** isn't just ****,
For when I die I don't want people being sad,
Or even uttering 'oh ****!'
I want them to say 'oh ****!',
For then and only then would I know that,
I truly lived.

I say 'ladies first' because I am a gentleman,
Not because I think ladies are weak willed or weak,
No I say 'ladies first' because I always put a lady first.
A gender of elegance and class that should be respected,
So when I see a man beat a woman,
Surely my blood boils and my fists clench,
When I see a man cut a woman down emotionally,
Surely I will start shaking in bouts of anger.
Why so?
Because most girls, most women, most daughters,
Grows up to be a mother,
And that is the hardest task a human can complete.

Waking up to the screams of a crying baby,
Makes me appreciate my mum,
For not having dropped me off at a church,
And upon this I still wonder,
Why are there still mothers who would do so much,
For something that would drive most insane?

You use to leave me breathless once,
Now you just leave me.
It is only fair that I do the same.
Bye to the game of chasing love,
Bye to the constant attempt at your heart,
Bye to the hope that we might align once again,
Bye to any future I might have with you.
Simply short Bye.
I can't do this anymore.

When I was a little boy,
Maybe about four years old,
I recall hearing the birds sing,
But not understanding the song.
The sombre overtone of the tunes,
Everything felt surreal at that moment.

I realised when I got older,
That the tune was my father's lullaby,
And with the last breath in his lungs,
He sang me asleep.

Now at night when the stars sung to me,
I knew that he is somewhere amongst them,
Creating a tune to help me pass the nights,
So I could see the bright light of tomorrows.

He was a lonely child,
When he saw the mirror he smiled,
For there was someone looking into his eyes,
Listening to his constant telling of lies,
Such as "we will make it" or "we will be fine"
But as lies go there was always a simple line,
One that he would never cross,
For if he ever did everything would be at a loss,
And that was to lie to someone he loves.

One day as he was staring through a window,
Confused as to why he didn't see his face show,
He stood there poking his tongue and pulling faces,
When he notices an angelic presence with braces,
He wanted to get the angels attention,
So he thought **** was a good thing to mention,
"I **** regularly!" he called out to the other side,
No response, he thought "Oh well at least I tried".
Minutes pass then the angel looks back at him,
Noticing that his eyes seemingly kind of dim,
"I like your eyes " the angel spoke in a soft voice,
He straightened his back, trying to stand in poise,
"I like yours too" he responded to the angel with skin so fair,
Then the window shattered and there was no longer a glare,
He could see the angel clearly and enjoyed the view,
To him everything felt bright and brand new,
He placed his hands holding the angel's cheeks,
And the angel says "finally I have been waiting weeks".

The pen was mightier than the sword,
For the damsel in distress was bored,
Nothing to do in her own spare time,
She found her saviour, simple rhymes.
Knights would heave and sway the blade,
Only to find the princess with a quill,
So as tales go, they would never get laid,
And she had more poetry to spill....

Words barely capture what's in my heart,
It's an unexplainable sensation,
That rests in my chest and tears me apart,
And drives me into frustration.

Not knowing the words to paint your soul,
The metaphors and similes to draw your heart,
The words that captures you as a whole,
But what good are words if all they do is fall apart.

Staring at my phone
As I hope I recieve a call
Afraid to die alone
I still stand proud and tall.

To think my fascination with her
Became so obsessive and absurd
I still remain the only person she deter
The blues sung by my heart, goes unheard

Nothing ever goes my way I believed
But yet i still cling onto hope.
My heart has been decieved
And I still look at life through a scope.

We talked for a while and I thought it was fun

but just like I’ve said a few other times, we are done.

I knew our friendship was dead

the moment you took what your close friends said

turned it into a gun with a bullet

looked at the trigger and decided to pull it.

Sometimes you going to lose some

and earn some, but the feeling I hate the most is feeling dumb

yes I know I was not doing the right thing

but the choices you made was intriguing.

Turn it around to a time after the mess

it wasn’t pleasant for me, I do confess

but the feeling and waitings killing me

you made me stay static like a dead tree

when you turned all the issues of you three

onto a train and sent that train to me like it was on a killing spree.

Now I’m stuck with a memory

that would hang me and even follow me to the cemetery

Now I understand that I lost a good friend

who didn’t understood what it was like at my end.

Things come and things go

but still it was never for show

whether our friendship was real

or were you just hiding it to get to better deal.

Ask around, figure out how many knew we were mates

barely anyone knew and it felt like I was getting rolled over by skates.

Now that everything’s final and we’re parting ways

I am admitting that I did miss the good old days

the good old days now become lodged in the past

and we should move on at last.

Don’t try to talk to me anymore

because what we had existed only before

now vivid images represent wasted times

and that’s the last of my rhymes.

When you experienced everything and realise that life is only going to get worse. One moment you’re achieving, that is your hill and from there nothing ever peaks above that. You are never too young.When you sit, wait and cry about everything, and when you’ve tried alcohol to escape your own sanity, you are ready to suicide.

Well I was, but I wasn't

I don’t want to be your next broken toy.
To avert your every sadness and despair like a decoy.
It never seems to amuse me that I have been used
but in the sight of all that is right, **I am confused.

out of 6,972,848504 people.
I had to fall for you?
I had to be the one to plunge to death?

Sometimes beyond the grave, your voice, your heartbeat, your thoughts, values and screams are all muffled by the dirt caving in on you known as society. Sometimes beyond the grave, all that remains is a deserted set of bones laying there , slowly decomposing, slowly vanishing from earth, slowly turning into an ultimate nothingness.

                                              -Star Gazer

The vanquishing tears slowly camouflaging with the shower drops that places your mind and heart on nothing else so during the showers, you are just like anyone else.

             -Star Gazer

Teardrop paints the story of a beautiful soul
like masterpieces on canvas with a little bit missing,
in its presence a growing hole
Teardrops make people who they pretend to be
because as the ocean waves beat against rocks,
people see the scars deep within
before they see the beauty in the words unspoken

Congratulations to the girl who’s finally taking time
to go and see a guy. I hope he is sublime
and that everything for you goes just fine
because after all it’s not my concerns, you ain’t even mine.
Anywho I’m back to the world
with words unspoken, ideals and values hurled
into conversation and bring it all up again.
******* forget locking myself in the den
because my egos inflated
my mind and soul’s separated
I’m prepared for the future
no longer dwelling over a stupid creature
Reality ******* me
because **** it, awesome is what I’ll be
now people tell me I’m in over my head
but **** it, I’m me and that’s all that’s needed to be said.
Selling the sadness away and swapping it for my pride
because the old me has died
and now the worlds meeting with the new soul supplied.
I still congratulate you none the less
and wish that everything goes bless
and now of to my holidays I go
to escape the past and feel a new soul flow.
Admit being stupid over imagination
got me being dumb like I needed consolidation,
well **** it I’m to cool to fall for this desperation
and now like I said I’m of to my new destination.

I wish I had another chance to talk to you again.

Stupid how selfish and narrow minded I was back then.

Now you’re with someone I don’t know.

I wished I had a chance to put my love for show.

It’s not right for me to still be into you.

After all it’s been three months since we haven’t talked, or maybe two.

People change, personalities do too, but I really wish my feelings could as well.

Forgetting you and not being interested into you would be swell.

Please at least say goodbye or some closure

I can’t fight against the pressure.

I’m sorry

Don’t want you to worry

I’m going away

No other words to say

Until something comes along, something surreal.
Then you realise all darkness rises and the pain will never heal.
You learn to embrace the wounds and scars,
sometime you put a little salt on it, or drink yourself blind at bars
but it’ll never be the same once the darkness rises
full of its little twist, little games and sick surprises
you have been part of the underlying problem, a part of society
you swear you won’t break, you won’t fall and you’ll stand straight in its entirety
but in the end , crawling on the ground, screaming inaudibly for help
that never arrives.

It becomes an act of futility when you realise that what you believed was true was a mirage. A poison to the brain and poison to the heart. It was something that leaves people thinking maybe it could have been, because in a world where a fragile freak meets a gorgeous angel is only part of the imagination.

Sometimes things get dragged on so far that even the world has moved on plenty since the last encountering but your heart hasn’t healed as much as hoped. Telling the world you’re okay, but having billion burdens on that little instrument that keeps you going

When I was a teen,
I went to school like any other kid,
Struggling over acne I can't rid,
Lifting weights so my weight was hid,
Pivoted on a group of friends,
Who never knew what words end,
So when they ripped on a kid whose sister died of sids,
I stood back and watch this kid's world end.
I tried to help, confiding with him,
Taking the time to let him know I was with him,
Giving him the heads up of what the others were going to do,
And made sure his hellish world a little less blue.
But I was afraid thanks to this hollywood lies of popularity,
As though being hated was so frowned upon,
When being hated meant bearing a heart.

Don't get me wrong,
I never really did ever grow strong,
But I was mixed in with the wrong crowd,
As though insults to injury made people proud,
And a cigarette in your fingers meant you're well endowed.

I didn't really fit in myself,
They would say things like,
No one would put you on a pedestal cause you'll break the shelf,
But the only thing that ever broke was my self esteem.
Broken bones and bruises came and go,
But the words that they preached to me is all I know,
So when I was sober at a show,
They fed me with alcohol and told me to party more,
Looking around surrounded by guys treating girls like ******,
And people who saw hearts and souls as toys and objects.
But I had a brittle voice never able to speak clear enough to object,
And when the school found out my father had died,
The jokes never ended at body image jokes, and all I did was sigh.
They shunned down on intellect,
Like if you were smart "go eat an insect".
They wore it on their shoulder with pride,
Of how they never once ever did hide,
And they were cool because they made a person,
feel "rekt".

So the words they tried to preach,
And the lessons they tried to teach,
Was you aren't cool enough if you aren't perfect,
But the real lesson instilled in me, was that I was perfect.
They hid behind hidden cameras,
Taking photos of torture and suffering,
Like they were engaged to it.
They were no better than me,
They had their own burdens but mine they couldn't carry,
So as tales are told, I learnt....
The weaker you are, the more strength you have got to show.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder*,
But I have grown to be blind,
Because you will always be beautiful,
For your heart that is so kind.

My heart was bruised, blacked and broken,
        But my heart chose to still
                                                         f
                                                           a
                                                           ­   l
                                                        ­        l
for you

No matter  what, my H E A R T will lay upon your palms,
        And
My S O U L will forever be yours.

I drive by so many cars,
I wish you were in one of them,
But you are as far as the stars,
And I couldn't reach you even if I tried.

My heart beats a tune for you,
An orchestrated symphony of brass,
For you make me bleed red when I'm blue,
And all I am is a walking piece of glass.

So sharp and wickedly dangerous,
I could fall and break under myself,
But it was you who held me painless,
And fragile was my past self.

Your palms suffered cuts from my jagged edges,
But you never complained,
For it was your heart that fell like hedges,
Broken, cut down and torn to shreds.

Without a single complaint,
You held my thorn filled heart,
And picked at the thorns,
To make me a better person.

Every small voice heard,
Is ultimately another life being saved.

When you see the moonlight,
Remember they are shining for you.
When you see the stars,
Remember they twinkle for you to notice.
When you shine,
Remember there will be people who notice.