I could live a thousand years
or a million different lives
but not one of them
would mean anything
if I could not live them by your side.

I've ascended a mountain
where the road is narrow;
awaiting an arrow's arrival
as the sun casts a shadow
on a dandelion.

I've set my mind on not
falling for insanity;
though her alluring touch
could cleanse calamities;
I stayed with the sun....

but today seems all the more bleak,
as week after week of argument ensues,
I knew that maybe I would have better off
learn to scoff at newfound things
but those who have loved me once before
do not love me now.

She repeats those words that taunt my soul
'bye star gazer'.
And I will not forgive her for leaving me
when I needed her the most.

Some days I just want to crawl back into bed
lay my head to rest on the pillow that comforts my cries.
I wear a disguise, the strong hearted, thick willed man
but a simple scan of who I am, proves I'm the opposite.
The optimist inside me is losing the battle, rattled
by heartbreak taunts and the gauntlet I once wore
and the pledges I swore held no real strength in guarding me.
The garden seed that was supposed to blossom and bloom
sits as seeds in a shaded room, aided by strong winds
and grinned at the sunlight admiring the caressing lights.
My heart alike, sat behind my ribcage admiring her smile,
admiring her eyes, admiring the thoughts she shared
and bonded pairs led to love but tonight it was different.
Not for a lack of interest but tonight I sat in bed crying
smiling at my pillow that soaked up my tears and comforted me.

Tonight I watched the stars hoping that she would watch them too,
hoping she knew how much I would have given to make her smile,
but the dying light is fading and sun up seems to be approaching fast.
My beating heart seems to beat on, but to what tune does it beat to now?

The past few nights those thoughts seem to haunt me,
taunting the calls of their grips, begging me to hold their hands
but their plans diverge from mine and I've seen their smile
take pleasures in the night like a candle light being blown out.

I'm afraid I'm being blown out, there's more to this world than me,
there's seven billions and many millions of seas, so one loss is small
I love you all but there comes a time when one has to say goodbye
so tonight, I'm urging you to remember that you all are amazing,
that whatever you're facing, I'm sure you'll make it.

Goodbye, may we meet in another life.
Love, your friend - Star Gazer

Fantasies ruins lives like chocolate ruins diets,
the highest ecstasy we inject into our lives,
the night collides with the day and fantasies
are alike planted seeds, they grow and grow
till daytime's glow is invaded by dreams.

Fantasies of the heart, fantasies of the mind
are so unkind like torture and nurture,
like the hard worker and the still idler,
neither would suggest to be perfect or good
but could they be combined, art is formed,
hearts turn warm and work is completed.

Love...is the ****** of human emotion
an ocean of joy but a deeper sea of ache.

I used to laugh at the boys who felt heartbroken or saddened by a girl, I used to think of it as an absurd emotion. I am grown up now, and that kid inside me still wishes I could view such a thing in the same light mannered way, but I can't. I wish I could still laugh at those boys without a few painful memories of my own. I remember the first moments of shyly teasing, pretending that we didn't know what was going on, pretending that neither one of us will grow to develop feelings but I guess that is how the world works nowadays. I remember seeing her smile and it is the only thing that I needed to pick me up from a terrible day, a terrible day dripped off the page like rain of an umbrella, the very moment that I saw her smile. That smile, it's a rare smile, so beautiful and yet so mysterious in a way. I was content with just seeing her smile from cheek to cheek because it meant that she's happy and I guess all I wanted was to make her happy. I remember getting to know her, the more I learnt, the more I was intrigued. Sadly humans are the one beings that aren't living in a simplistic world where dreams are made to come true. I remember dreaming of her, and me, together (not in that sense for those with a slightly dirtier mind), we were together drinking coffee, drinking liquor, playing chase on a beach, watching time pass us by in each others arms.
I remember her name, and it may seem so simple but nothing was ever simple with her. Her name was complex, her personality was complex but it's the complexity that made her stand out. I wandered off a wrong path once or twice but suffice to say I knew which way I always wanted to go, I knew where I always wanted to go and it was right to her arms. In my eyes, there is none other more beautiful, more special and made me feel alive as she did. So although I haven't met her in person, I always knew she would become amazing things, only suitable for an amazing person.

I remember many details about that time of my life, the wounds are still fresh and the memories are still haunting me but that's the good thing about it, I can still remember everything that ever made me smile.

[The girl who made a million of my dreams come true.]

Your absence is the definition of my abject demise
I've covered my eyes in hopes you'll magically appear
but sheer wishful thinking does not change reality,
the agony of opening my eyes every time to realise
that you aren't there seems to sadden my mind.
I find that your presence is the thing I miss
the bliss of your scorched warm differ to the burn
that have returned on my skin from the lack of heat
and day in, it feels like I'm living on repeat.

Your eyes remind me of hopeful dreams like the cream
that settles atop the sweet drinks and sweet things
you are the sweetest person I have ever met
I forget what it was like to hear your voice
to see your beautiful smile that give rise to pure sweetness.

Your absence is the one thing that has hurt me lately,
the safety and comfort I've felt in your arms have dissipated.

So beautiful, can you smile for me again.
I love you and I'm always proud of you.