Completely worthless.
wonder why you’re still here
How can you still be here when you have no purpose
Failing to please even yourself
every time.

Why
Why are you still here
You can’t find a reason to go on.
But you sit there and endure life anyway.

Crying because a normal meal is placed in front of you.
Eat or you die.
Wanting to die
Wanting to feel deaths warm embrace.

Your body wants to live,
it wants to eat.
You want to eat but you’re terrified.
Terrified of being anything but empty.

But you need to
you need to eat.

As sure as day changes to night,
I understand.

We will soon forget the love shared
the midnight conversations
the 'good mornings'
the 'good nights'
the wasted 'I love you's'

And I will forget your crooked smile
And you will forget my lame attempts to get through a joke without laughing

Sure is what I am.

ER.

When you've brushed your alcohol ridden teeth
When last nights lust has long gone
When the sun is awakened and you must face mornings strife

Will your kisses still be filled with passion
Or does the morning signal more than the nights lust
Does it awaken rebirth?
Does it mean that once you are rid of alcohol

You are rid of me?
                                                                                                                                            ER.

Your lips touching mine,
was a mistake.
Allowing myself to weep over something so trivial,
was a mistake.
Laying at night and wondering how long I'd live feeling this way,
was a mistake.
Loosing myself in order to find myself,
was a mistake.
But,
I will make better mistakes tomorrow.
          
             ER.

I kiss you and it seems like the stars shine for us and waves crash along the musky shores for us
But then I realize, the us that once sent my stomach in a frenzy of butterflies
is not the same.
And I find my self holding on to something that does not exist.
And I cry.
My tears are an ode to a person who I've loved so long but with every fiber of my being I know,no longer exists.
People change.
Your smile has changed.

We met at the wrong time,
at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Maybe,
Years from now,
We'll meet again, in some extraordinary way.
And love with be rekindled.
And your smile will be the same.
And I won't spend time wondering if you are my way of compensating with a love deficit.

                               ER.