ι'м so sick of feeling worthless
When ever he looks at me
With his potent eyes

And making me feel small
His invasion makes me feel worthless,hopeless ,sick

he sees me as the little girl he controlled
I was his for longer than ι'd like to remember
I'm so sick

He said I lied
that I cried when he came inside me
And now I'm  burning a highway to hades
I'm sick

Worthless ,hopeless ,sick

ι'м done  ,ι can not continue
This misery feels so new
Drowning in my sorrow
ι'м so confused

ι said ι'м done , you cant make me go back
And watch You just stare
While ι'м living this nightmare

ι'м ripping my heart open just to feel
Yet the only thing ι feel iS weakness
In this lonely abyss

ι cry out for you
But you just turn me away
And discontinue

ι'м done with feeling weak,empty and hopeless
But you sure are one thing ι'll miss
When ι'м gone

While you sit on your throne
ι'м buried all alone
When i say all ι need to do is die
ι sit in my room and cry

You ∂ση'т  know how hard ι fought to survive
But look ι'м still alive
Yeah ι do feel like sleeping and never waking up
But ι ∂ση'т  believe in giving up

So you can cast your stones
And break all my bones
Watch me die
Cause ι refuse to live a lie
  
Maybe my time has come to end this misery
The consuming fury
ι'м caught in the grey

So ι'll sleep till may and say that ι ∂ση'т  wna see the sun anymore
Cause my heart still hurts
ι'м cold to the core
And this Room is starting to feel like a tomb

Sick of circling the same road
Sick of burying the guilt
In the crowd ι am the invisible

Slipping into thin air
Life is really not fair ..
Disappearing slowly
Looking at me , but only seeing my bad side
When all ι do is strive for your attention

Opening my self to people
Is way to evil
They ∂ση'т  see me but ι see them
Looking from the outside in

Outcast is what ι am
ι try my best . It ιѕη'т good enough..

This Is How I Disappear

Self concious always worried about what people think
Seeing my self sink
Watching them talk
Like they planning to conspire against me
ι wish ι could just be free
from all the things that bind me

ι'м starting to trip
ι'м losing my grip
And ι'м in this thing alone
With no purpose and no drive

Yess ι see you talking
If you only knew ι'м hanging by a thread
ι'м lucky if ι ever see the light of day
As my walls close in
ι watch my enemies belittle me by nodding me the penalty

Self harm seems to be the only escape
While you looking for the red tape
Smile on your face . But we all know its fake
For goodness sake
**** me than lie to my face .

Sick of circling the same road
Sick of burying the guilt
In the crowd ι am invisible

Slipping into thin air
Life is really not fair ..
Disappearing slowly
Looking at me , but only seeing my bad side
When all ι do is strive for your attention

Opening my self to people
Is way to evil
They ∂ση'т  see me but ι see them
Looking from the outside in

Outcast is what ι am
ι try my best . It ιѕη'т good enough..

Sitting alone all day
Wishing my self away
Watching the day and night go by faster than the speed of light

As ι notice my scars are faded
And ι realise ι made it
Being all alone like a castaway lost at sea
ι felt like ι'м not loved
ι let myself lose control .
Everything comes before me ,
Everyone besides me
Always left out .
Looking in from the outside

ι began to see the light at the end of the
tunnel
ι get rid of all my doubt
By drowning my self in
Unnecessary guilt

So ι cry just a little ,
Than ι dry my eyes .
Cause ι'м no longer a little girl anymore

So now ι'м fully alive .
As ι watch all my complaints shrink to nothing
And ι lie there afraid of all my somethings .
Afraid of the past
As much as my future

But this is wheRe it all ends
ι always dreamt about this moment
Waiting to feel loved instead of hurt

Fell to pieces and picking them up on my own
Anxiety's got me shaking
Faking what's real
Torn to the bone
A heart harder than stone

Here ι stand
With empty fists
Wishing for bleeding wrists
To stop the pain from the emotional beatings

Craving the burn and itch!
ι really do miss it
Take a look at what you've done
You broke me
Served me lies
And messed up my life

Sometimes my cravings get really bad
When ι feel really sad
ι wna carve your name on my skin

My worst dreams of you still stick with me
scraping through my head until ι dont want to sleep again

ι ∂ση'т  have a heart
Because you tore it apart
Breaking into my thoughts like you owned me
Stole my innocence
And controlled me

But ι wanted you to know .
The worst has just began
No one can steal my pain away
You caused it
And you will pay

As she sat there
Fearful of what might happen
When it all comes out

As she tries to convince herself that it ωαѕη'т her fult
He was like a thief ,
He stole her ,used her
And threw her away

With scars left on her heart
He ripped her apart
And washed her innocence away

He ended her with a smile
And тнαт'ѕ all it took
The smile stung mildly

He ended her life
And broke her heart
But ѕнє'ѕ still a butterfly only with punctured wings ...

My feelings ;
Deep, empty
Like a well тнαт'ѕ gone dry
'What has this come to' ι ask myself

Sitting here all dried out by the sun
Dried up by life
Dried out by you.

As ι sit here
Empty to the core
My cry for help
Is all too sore

ι take the blade and end my pain
Piercing into my skin  
The sight of my thick red blood pleases me

My heart is dried up and abused by useless feelings
Feelings that ι ∂ση'т  even feel
This is all too confusing

And you find it so amusing
but ι ωση'т let you have me
You may take my feelings but you cant have my soul ..

As I sat there following my train of thoughts
I realised that I was alone
Like the world had forgotten me
Almost like I blacked out and I couldn't see
Like I fell into the rabbit hole only for but a second

I felt threatened and consumed by ...
What I thought was my past
How long could this fall really last?

In that moment of my loneliness
It felt like an illness
Eating me
Draining every inch of my being

I felt like I was going to die alone
OH and I  know that the world is a lonely place ....

As ι lie here ,tossing and turning like the sea
my unnecessary thoughts makes it so hard to go back to sleep.
Nothing too deep but still ι cant sleep.

My eyes feel like shutting
but my mind wants to hear nothing
Counting the sheep ωση'т help this time

As my vision begins to blur
And my speech starts to slur .
ι lie awake
With my mouth dry but no energy
To quench my thirst
Thoughts of getting out of bed hound at me .

Eventually the morning will melt the night and i
Will still be wide awake

As i enter this place
ι feel your warm embrace
ι feel your Godly love surround me .
No one makes me feel the way you do .
Ooh you are so true .

Your love makes me fEel so new
The music makes me sway
Your beat mends  my broken heart
so my tongue dances behind my lips for you

But as ι enter this place ....
Ooh ι feel soo safe
LORD your love never fails

As ι whisper my own love song
ι will live for all my days to put a smile on your face
You give me grace .

And ι know when we Finally meet ,
It will be for
eternity

italic* ι'll never be strong enough
ι'll never be good enough
ι'll never rise above
Is this all ι'll ever be ?

One day they'll see .
ι struggled long enough it keep this fire burning deep inside of me .

They say ι'll never be .
But little do they see .
ι've already rose above .
ι'м only strong enough .
And ι'м always good enough

Oh Lord ι pray dont let this desire flea

italic* ι'll never be strong enough
ι'll never be good enough
ι'll never rise above
Is this all ι'll ever be ?

One day they'll see .
ι struggled long enough it keep this fire burning deep inside of me .

They say ι'll never be .
But little do they see .
ι've already rose above .
ι'м only strong enough .
And ι'м always good enough

Oh Lord ι pray dont let this desire flea

As he broke into my thoughts like a thief in the night .
ι try to hide all my spite
But he finds me buried in regret
All the things that ι never meant

He broke into me . Like a blade on my wrist as ι begin to slit all my feelings away .
The feelings he brought .
But still ι lay with the thought of death

He wrote it on my dark heart all the things he said .
As the night bled like my wrist which ι continue to shed.