Dear Sir,

I'm really sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for not talking to you anymore. That was really immature of me. I'm sorry for not taking your dreams into account, and for being selfish. I'm sorry for making everything about this non-existant relationship all about me and not about you. But then again... it's always about you. Everything. It always has been since the day we met and I turned you down and played foolish hard-to-get. But I wasn't playing. I just really am not easy to get. If you should feel proud of anything, it should be the fact that you had me. And I was always yours to grab, in any sense of the word. I'm just really sorry that you had to be the one to get me. I'm sure it was easy, because I'm not easy.

I'm sorry. For everything,
Love Ma'am

Dear Ma'am,

You shouldn't be sorry. Nothing was your fault. If anybody should be sorry, it should be me. I'm sorry for leaving. And I'm sorry that I did that to you. When you say you're hard-to-get, you really aren't kidding. I had to ******* bear my soul just to get you to look me in the eyes. I never regret being the one for you. In fact, I don't ever regret anything I do, because it's a waste of time. But if I was to ever regret anything, it would be making you feel sad all the time. I'm a selfish human being and I know that, but that doesn't mean that you weren't important to me. I would never want to ruin our friendship. I just didn't have a choice. Sorry.

-Sir

Dear Sir,

I feel really bad and stupid when I say that, because it reminds me of that cheesy movie, "Dear John", and you are the farthest thing from cheesy, and I feel like our life and our story means so much more than that. I don't really have anything else to say to you. I just know that I don't want us to not be friends anymore, because you are my best friend. But I also can't talk to you without thinking about you in ways I shouldn't. When I think about you in those ways it just makes me really sad and I know that I won't be able to move on if I think about you in those ways. I don't want to die alone. But without you I'm so alone. I don't know what to do.

Love Ma'am

Ma'am,

Tell me what to do and I'll do it.

-Sir

can't you see what i'm trying to do
it's about ******* time you knew

so cold it's almost hot
your face an apparition in the backyard lot

broken glass above snow above grass

Only until this cigarette is ended,
A little moment at the end of all,
While on the floor the quiet ashes fall,
And in the firelight to a lance extended,
Bizarrely with the jazzing music blended,
The broken shadow dances on the wall,
I will permit my memory to recall
The vision of you, by all my dreams attended.
And then adieu,—farewell!—the dream is done.
Yours is a face of which I can forget
The color and the features, every one,
The words not ever, and the smiles not yet;
But in your day this moment is the sun
Upon a hill, after the sun has set.

Beautiful eyes were wasted on you
because you use them for all of the wrong reasons

You don't use them to see
You only use them to ******

Your eyes **** lovers
But somehow their beauty is never reduced

You happen to be one
It's bright in your eyes
evident in your movements
thick on your breath
as savoury as your flavour

                                                   Tantalizingly deadly
                                                    you're bad for my health
                                                             my soul
                                                                           my virtue
                                                                                            my conscience
                                                    my heart sees you differently
                                                   -"keep trying, he will love, he will... will"

We are caught in a battle of will
Will his heart open?
Will his hold on me falter?
Will it be to late?

                                                          I am entangled with a
                                                          Deadly Sin
                                                          He is lust
                                                          I am defenseless

Walking,walking,Walking.

Driving, driving, Driving.

Parking,parking,Parking.

Competition,worry,Win...yet

­Lose.



Heart.Home.Hurt.

Kiss.Love.Lie.

Yes.Maybe.Nevermind.

Friend.­ betray.Lie.

Sleep. Dream. Hope.



Money.frugal? NOT.

need.need.need.

no no no time for me.



Lust.Love.Jealousy?

What?! Who me?



Reach.Fall.Reach.

pity the poor when rich.

Pity the rich when poor.

No one will ever do anything about any of this.

this is comparable in terms

of importance and reality.

Pick your battles she told me

Never be submissive, experience taught.

Never trust, the world whispered in my ear.

All too quiet as if it were a secret



Scarred is he who wears a smile.

only as a substance lay in his blood

yet all the while

in confusion is he who refuses

to find a solution.



Hard is it, to accept the past.

no words, no questions asked.

Vacant spaces with blank stares,

Never to be kissed, to be held

choose not to be aware.



To see hundreds of people everyday

to never count them

to never think

what is their middle name?

What is their favorite color?

What we're their parents like?

What are they like?

Have they been hurt,

are they hurt?

read between the lines of a vacant stare

have hope that a smile is genuine

and may you find happiness there.

i hide my tears,
i swallow my fears.
I show little to no emotion,
i wish i could drown in the ocean.
My heart is breaking, but my smiles i keep on faking.

These scars won't ever heal,
And you'll never know how i truly feel
because i keep everything hidden.

I've talked about things before that people consider to be dark

I've never thought of them that way
I guess I would consider them gray
before any other color though
but when I think about beautiful hues, I remember heather
and when I see clouds in the sky
and I scrunch up my face real small while the rain flies
I think it's beautiful weather.

So while everybody puts on their protection:
raincoats and galoshes
umbrellas that sheild washes

I'll put on a cardigan and get covered in shivers
and I'll lay in the middle of the road
and pretend I'm floating in rivers

Goosebumps will be my second layer
They'll make my skin thicker
and the rain will wash the tears off of my face
and nobody will be able to tell that I was crying in the first place
and I'll laugh all boisterously
and hardiness will fill my diaphragm
and I'll scream for no reason at all

I'll scream that I would rather love that I hate how I am
than to hate that I love how I am

I will look at everyone around me
staring at me
arms folded and crunched
hidden under their plastic cape
afraid of being cold
okay with being weak
and reliant on umbrellas for protection;
shadowing faces that are disgruntled and meek

I'll realize they have no idea
how it feels to grow thick skin of goose pimples
and to have agony washed away
and to float in rivers in the road
and to be the only thing in a world of complexity
that is lowly and simple

They probably think that they know how it feels to laugh
because they do it at parties and gatherings
But those are only chuckles
Because they never release their knuckles
They're always clenching them in restraint or force

Everybody should laugh in the rain
and not be afraid of tears in the eyes of the sun
because they'll only get washed away
nobody will know
I promise.