i think you have small holes in your fingers
from the times you're pricked by a needle
while you sew me back together.
you don't ask for any bandaids
you don't try to clean the blood
you weave in an out of my every fiber
and pull just tight enough.

i could never write enough apologies that say,
i'm sorry you love me
i'm sorry that i love him.

i feel like i am the sun and you are an iceberg
i can not touch you
and still you beg me to

some of the time i will have to hide you from my rays
but it will never be to hurt you
some times to grow stronger
it will have to get colder
and i'll have other places to be

do you trust with i say i'll never truly leave?
i know for you it is hard to believe
but take it from the girl who already surprised you once
take it from the girl who already found your trust
take what i have while i hope it's enough

you are an iceberg
do you know what that means?
i know you only show the world parts of you
but i also what what it is you keep
way down beneath that icy surface
and i know its much greater than what they ever guessed
i know its much more than you'd ever credit
i know its much more powerful than you ever admit
but are you ready for this?
there are other bittersweet heats than me
some less reckless and some more reliable
remember what it feels like for school children to skate on your back
remember what it felt like to believe you could have it all
you're not so small as you try to be
don't hid from me
i believe in you
i'm ****** if i forget a cliche
believe in yourself
shape both the poles
take a look around me
cause im staying
you are an iceberg
and i am the sun
but i am not the only one
i am not the only one.

I’ve been trying to rearrange letters to make sounds that unfortunately don’t translate into anything meaningful
and I’ve been drawing out diagrams to display the small fraction of insight that my heart has decided to be generous with
I am as in the dark as you are
I don’t have answers, just apologies.
I know that are two sides to this and just like my hand I know one is rough, and will bruise and punch but
the other a my softer and will always try to make up for the regretful but nonetheless truthful company she has
the other will nurture, and point to the quiet things.
and maybe that’s not enough
I know you still want both sides connected
a full circle around them each, encasing them to you in a ring.
but I think the main problem is that you don’t make me feel free.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry like a school teacher who has to lie through old dingy frames and slowly break a dream to a young man
because you’re right, that’s life and feelings aren’t choices, they aren’t light-switches
and I can’t turn this off
but I think maybe I could be like a star, maybe I can’t comfort but I can be around anyway.
maybe that’s not what you need and that’s what makes me sorry.
does it matter that I’m sorry?

life must have been so cold you
from as early as you can wind back the tape
it must had been all dark clouds
that warm summer from your childhood faded
quickly like my breath on the car window
last night
i know now winter is on its way but your smile has still
forgotten to blossom with the flowers in spring
and im starting to worry maybe it stayed buried somewhere
under the snow, and that maybe that's why you look so uncomfortable
like the gloveless finger in early february
like every touch is as sharp as a knife
and like a deeper breath might freeze your lungs
why are you so afraid?
what kind of disaster plagued you,
and how can i apologize for it.
somewhere an off season taught you that
its not safe to wear sandals in the summer
and that you always have to hide.
i know at times, bitter winds make it hard to trust
and flash floods soil hopes
but life is more than snowed in monday
and i dont want you to live so limited
life must have been so cold to you
show me how far you can wind back the tape
let me see the exact place
your breath started to break
i know your heart is heavy,
it carries a load it was never meant to
set it down
and come outside
i promise the weather is nice
enough of the time
and when its not,
when the rain comes in like car with failed brakes,
stay with me,
let me hold your umbrella
let me cover your car with a tarp
and dry your clothes
you know, you don't have to do this alone.
the winter is cold but sometimes going outside
makes your heart feel warmer
you've always had what you need to survive this weather
hold on to that
and hold on to your hat
because life is coming fast and i know you're afraid
but i wont let you sit,
convincing yourself you're content
with a life so hopeless as this.
watch the rain with me.

you move me like the pages of a book.
you don't make me
or change me
you unfold with me
one single motion
fingers and paper
one glorious
reaction
to life's
curious
enthrallment.

read with me
beautiful and real
like f. scott fitzgerald would write
stay up all night
because it's too good to miss
and i love you too much
to ever let
the words rest.

remind me never
to jump too far ahead
never read the last page first
and to enjoy the way
the syllables on every page
flicker off each other's tongue
at always the right pace
lets love even the space
between each chapter.

read with me.

you noticed that i move when music plays
and i cant speak without making circles around my face with my hands
said, 'you put all of you into all you do'
and i nodded with my toes
this body is not enough to say
all there is in my mind
i can't express the way the world turns me
how could i make as much noise as my heart
on every hour, 3,600 times an hour
pumping my blood and beating me through
like the ripples on a water front
my body can't be enough,
someday dance with me
we could make a motion of the song together
we could walk two lines at once
tap your toes when i play next time,
jump up and down  
and know that inside i am always jumping
but you can jump higher
know that even on the days i don't speak quite enough
my heart is still making the fluttering click of a film projector
my mind is still a song of a factory, constructing dreams
out of the silly things i see, and all the things you say to me like,
remember that we both touch the same air
and it still carries our breath, not matter how far
know that i breathe for you,
hoping your eyes can see the way i force it into the atmosphere
out of me and into something so much larger
something that is always,
always expressing what i try to.