1.  Sit down and cry. Cry until you have no more tears and don’t even remember the reason for your sadness. Realize that nothing, not even misery, is permanent.

2. Close your eyes and imagine your dream home. Don’t skimp on anything, not even the tiniest details like the doorknob or the lampshade pattern. Keep it always so that whenever you are somewhere heartless and cruel, you have a retreat.

3. Discover a song you love. Listen to it as loud as possible, listen to it as softly as possible. Listen to it backwards, forewords, sideways, and upside down. Extract from it all the truth and magic you can until you’re sick of it. Repeat.

4. Try and realize who your real friends are. Not the ones who will smile at your jokes and laugh at their own, but the ones who will walk with you even in the darkest of nights and never have to reassure you that they’re there.

5. Cut your hair. Cut it as short as you can without making your mother cry. Recognize that when someone says they don’t like it, what they’re really saying is that your appearance is for their pleasure. Know that it is not.

6. Choose a day just to watch. Watch the wind whispering to the trees, the grass reaching for the sky, the clouds hanging on by a thread. Make eye-contact with the moon and see that everything is watching you back. They’re rooting for you.

7. Learn how to make your favorite food. Learn how to make it exactly like your mother does. And every time you taste those familiar flavors, know that home is wherever you are.

8. Draw yourself. Don’t look in a mirror while you do this, draw yourself as you truly think you are. When you’re finished, take a photo of yourself. Compare the two. Realize that how you perceive you and how the world sees you will always be different.

Silence yourself tonight
As I miss your voice today
Hopefully its not too late
Before you miss my voice instead...

©2014 Maman Screams

more of a rap:

I find my mind start to wonder in places it shouldn't be,
i see messed up things someone normal wouldn't see.

But what can you expect living in a broken home?
You know something wrong when you feel safer alone.

I feel like one day i'll walk in to see bodys all over the floor,
i'll have a gun in my hand covered in blood, guts and gore.

But i won't know what happened,
won't know that it was me.

i'd call the cops,
thinking someone else is guilty.

My mind starts twitchen,
memorys glitchen.

Feelin need to ****,
because im enjoying the thrill.

i know it's bad, but it satisfies my needs,
i'm just hopin that the cops don't have any leads.

i grew up a victim of paranoia and depression,
now im standing tall making all my confessions.

This song ain't a rhyme it's a warning,
because im gonna be a killer by the morning.

To be alone is not so tragic,
to be alone, and yet at peace is magic
but oh to be alone with you
That my love is magic meant for two,
For in this life are many troubles,
we both have more than just a few
but when I see the love that lies behind your eyes
My troubles fade from view
And my world is born anew.