do you think of me
when you hear my song?
does my name echo
throughout your mind?

d.l.b.

i feel as though
my lungs are being drowned in my own sorrow.
and my feet are being held down by 20 pound rocks.
and i feel as though
you're standing there watching me
as i struggle to get by.
and you don't feel any remorse at all.

d.l.b.

my goldfish is my best friend.
i can tell my goldfish anything,
she doesn't judge me.
she loves me just the same.

d.l.b.

you said you loved me.
but was it all a big lie?
i thought you would stay.

d.l.b.

is this the same "missing you" feeling as before?
my heart doesn't know how to mend itself
after being shattered.

d.l.b.

these feelings are different.
i once longed to talk to you,
i wanted your words of affirmation
and floppy brown hair.
but now everything's different.
i long your presence.

d.l.b.

i've just had a realization of how wonderful life is.
we are breathing, alive, and happy.
i am so blessed and life is so so so good.

d.l.b.

life is so good
and god is so good.
i just wish you could see
all the wonderful things that are happening.

d.l.b.

i want to be wrapped in someone's arms,
and told that i'm loved.

d.l.b.

i don't understand you
then again,
who really does?
you confuse me
and frustrate me

but i still love you

d.l.b.

i so desperately want to tell you
all these feelings i'm having inside
and how much i long
to see your smiling face every day
but i say to myself,
"oh i'll tell him tomorrow,"
but what happens when tomorrow doesn't come

d.l.b.

two boys
both wonderful
one is close,
the other far
one is young,
the other old
one is tall,
the other short
one is known,
the other seen
both wonderful
two boys

d.l.b.

seeing your face again
was like seeing your newborn baby
for the first time.
magical

d.l.b.

i've started thinking of you more,
and replacing my thoughts of him,
with thoughts of you.
i'm not quite sure if i like it or not.
but it makes me happy,
to have a little reality

d.l.b.

i don't like this feeling
please make it stop
why was i born like this?
afraid of every little thing

d.l.b.

the fears have started to dissolve
my breathing is coming back to normal
everything is okay

d.l.b.

everywhere I go,
i see things that remind me of you.
oh look,
he would like that.
oh look,
he would say that.
oh look,
he would do that.

d.l.b.

today's your birthday.
you're so wonderful, did you know that?
god knows if you'll ever see this.
i feel like i'm being pushed away by you.
but maybe it's just me.
happy birthday.

d.l.b.

the place where all my wishes would come true,
would be in a little apartment in new york city
with you
we would stay up late
laughing
and talking
and life would be absolutely wonderful
but look at where we are,
and where we want to go
five years is a long time
but you're my best friends
and i'm the happiest i've ever been

d.l.b.

there was a mouse in my math classroom today.
i saw it run across the floor.
it reminded me of myself.
scared.
confused.
worried.
poor little mouse.

d.l.b.

i thought you had forgotten about me.
so my heart leaped when i discovered you didn't.
i had forgotten about you for a bit.
but then everything came back.

d.l.b.

i bought a ukulele yesterday.
i'm so excited to play.
my hands are much too small for a guitar.

d.l.b.

oh my goodness gracious
you're the cutest
you make me so happy
and i just don't know
what my life would consist of
if you weren't in it

d.l.b.

occasionally i'll look to see how you're doing.
but it just makes me sad
to see you can be happy without me,
because i can't be happy without you.

d.l.b.

you're gone now.
and i'm not sure i know what to do.
all i've been doing is cring,
and wishing you'll come back

d.l.b.

i thought we were all friends
and i feel left out
you talk to her when you could've talked to us both
i just feel unwanted sometimes
like
why should i even be there

d.l.b.

you came to me in a dream
and told me you loved me
after you had left me

what if my dream comes true?
what will become of us then?

i still remember what you looked like in my dream
you looked frightened
and i was confused

d.l.b.

right now,
if someone were to ask me,
"what is he to you?"
i wouldn't know what to say.

because i don't know what you are to me.
and i feel us drifting apart every second.

but 4 months ago,
if someone were to ask me,
"what is he to you?"
i would know exactly what to say.

d.l.b.

we made eye contact today.
and that one second
when we were just focused
on each other,
and nothing else,
was wonderful.

maybe next time
i can find the courage to
smile at you
when our eyes lock again.

d.l.b.

when i was 10 years old,
i thought i would have
somebody to love by now
i never thought i would
be completely alone

d.l.b.

i keep having dreams about you.
i don't know if it's a sign.
i don't know if it means something.
i am not quite sure.

you had to leave early today.
you make me wonder.
you make me laugh.
you are not quite sure.

d.l.b.

i just want you here with me right now
gently stroking my hair
as you entwine your fingers with mine
if i'd start to cry
you'd hold me close
and whisper soothing words into my ear
i need the security of being held in your arms
and i need it now

d.l.b.

i'm crying again
i don't know what to do
you all make me so happy
and distance breaks my heart

d.l.b.

nights are the hardest.
mostly because i can't just simply
look down and see you
browsing the internet
while we should be asleep

i didn't feel so lonely
like i often do
when i could just simply
look down
and watch you

d.l.b.

maybe if everyone
were a bit more like you,
the world would be happy

d.l.b.

i thought you had forgotten about me
so when i saw the message
pop up on my screen,
my heart overflowed with happiness
and excitement

d.l.b.

sometimes i feel like
i get in your way
and you would just be better off without me

d.l.b.

i like to read
fairy tales and pretend
that you're the prince
who's come to save me
from this horrible disaster

d.l.b.

even just the little things you do
make me so happy
you're so adorable and cute
i don't even think you realize it

d.l.b.

let me introduce
you to the real me. this is
who i want to be

d.l.b.

it's nice to have friends
who get you

too bad they live so far away

d.l.b.

insomnia
keeps me up at night
or that's what everyone thinks
but in reality,
it's not insomnia
it's you

d.l.b.

i'm so confused
what is happening
why
i'm happy
yet sad

d.l.b.

oh how i wish
you were here with me right now.
right now at this very moment.
i think i'll go crazy without you
but having you right here,
right now,
would make it all ok

d.l.b.

i'm too tired to
write a poem. i will dream
of you tonight, love

d.l.b.

tired eyes
weak smile
long nights
longer without you

d.l.b.

you keep picking at the scab,
hoping it will never heal.
because you like the way it looks
on your tiny little finger.

d.l.b.

oh how i long to hold your hand
kiss your lips
run my fingers through your hair

d.l.b.

if i had any wish
in the whole world,
just one,
i'd wish for a plane.
so i could take myself to you.

d.l.b.

i should really stop
writing this poetry when
i'm tired in bed

d.l.b.