do i like you?
or am i just lonely?
if only there was a way to know.

d.l.b.

standing next to you,
i felt nothing.
my heart didn't jump like it used to,
my hands didn't shake like they used to.

d.l.b.

one week
and we'll have been friends for a whole year.
"internet friendships never work"
one week
until we prove them wrong.

d.l.b.

take me back
to when you first talked to me.
to when you first smiled at me.
to when you first told me a secret.
you when you first said you loved me.
take me back
so we can start over.

d.l.b.

being your friend has taught me so much about myself.
it's taught me how to be patient,
how to be loving,
and how to be happy for others and what they are blessed with.
and i cannot thank you enough.

d.l.b.

my best friend.
the one i can tell anything to.
179 miles away.

how am i supposed to live when you are so far away?

d.l.b.

am i being replaced?
i don't know what to do.
you make me so happy
and i do the same
i don't want to be forgotten

d.l.b.

looking in your eyes,
while you're looking into mine,
i feel important.

d.l.b.

you came running back to me.
and you only made things worse.
i cried over you too many times.
please go away.

d.l.b.

I remember, Sunday, June 9th, the day we all met.
I've heard the melody of our ongoing laughter.
I've taken the advice you've given me, to make me a better person.
I remember how it felt to have our own little jokes and secrets no one else knew.
I loved receiving the letters you all carefully wrote and signed the same.
I've hung up funny pictures of you, knowing they can make me laugh when I'm upset.
I have seen the depths of your hearts, and you have seen mine.
My favorite thing to do was have late-night video chats because I always feel asleep happy.
I've learned how to be a better person because of you.
And I will never forget you, my best friends, Margaux, Alexandra, and Emily.

the fears have started to dissolve
my breathing is coming back to normal
everything is okay

d.l.b.

i wonder if you're tired of me as much as i'm tired of you.
i wonder if you've cried over me as much as i've cried over you.
i wonder if you think of me as much as i think of you.

i wonder if you loved me as much as (i loved you)

d.l.b.

i remember the first day i met you.
i kept thinking,
"wow, this boy is amazing"
but you played with my heart
and messed with my emotions.
did you really like me?
or was i the only one trying?

d.l.b.

tired eyes
weak smile
long nights
longer without you

d.l.b.

old songs bring back unwanted memories.
old songs bring back lovely memories.

d.l.b.

i thought we were all friends
and i feel left out
you talk to her when you could've talked to us both
i just feel unwanted sometimes
like
why should i even be there

d.l.b.

i thought you had forgotten about me.
so my heart leaped when i discovered you didn't.
i had forgotten about you for a bit.
but then everything came back.

d.l.b.

i don't understand you
then again,
who really does?
you confuse me
and frustrate me

but i still love you

d.l.b.

i'm so confused
what is happening
why
i'm happy
yet sad

d.l.b.

i so desperately want to tell you
all these feelings i'm having inside
and how much i long
to see your smiling face every day
but i say to myself,
"oh i'll tell him tomorrow,"
but what happens when tomorrow doesn't come

d.l.b.

the place where all my wishes would come true,
would be in a little apartment in new york city
with you
we would stay up late
laughing
and talking
and life would be absolutely wonderful
but look at where we are,
and where we want to go
five years is a long time
but you're my best friends
and i'm the happiest i've ever been

d.l.b.

you came to me in a dream
and told me you loved me
after you had left me

what if my dream comes true?
what will become of us then?

i still remember what you looked like in my dream
you looked frightened
and i was confused

d.l.b.

it's been 2 months since i talked to you.
why do i still think of you?

d.l.b.

a small, powerful
smile stretches across my face.
all because of you.

d.l.b.

i just want you here with me right now
gently stroking my hair
as you entwine your fingers with mine
if i'd start to cry
you'd hold me close
and whisper soothing words into my ear
i need the security of being held in your arms
and i need it now

d.l.b.

when i think of you
my heart is full of sorrow
and i don't like it

d.l.b.

occasionally i'll look to see how you're doing.
but it just makes me sad
to see you can be happy without me,
because i can't be happy without you.

d.l.b.

oh but my love,
don't you see,
she's not right for you.

oh but my love,
don't you see,
i am.

d.l.b.

let me introduce
you to the real me. this is
who i want to be

d.l.b.

oh how i long to hold your hand
kiss your lips
run my fingers through your hair

d.l.b.

i so desperately want to be your friend.
i want you to like me,
and i want you to care about me.
please stop ignoring me.
i want to be noticed.

d.l.b.

i wonder what they found running through my veins.
was it blood?
or the sound of your voice?

d.l.b.

do not read scary stories before you go to bed.
you will be convinced something is hiding in your closet,
and turning the lights off will be the hardest thing to do.

d.l.b.

you're such a wonderful part of my life.
you keep my secrets and make me happy when i'm sad.
i couldn't have asked for a better friend.

d.l.b.

nights are the hardest.
mostly because i can't just simply
look down and see you
browsing the internet
while we should be asleep

i didn't feel so lonely
like i often do
when i could just simply
look down
and watch you

d.l.b.

i'm coming home one day,
i can promise you that.
and the city will welcome me with open arms.

d.l.b.

two boys
both wonderful
one is close,
the other far
one is young,
the other old
one is tall,
the other short
one is known,
the other seen
both wonderful
two boys

d.l.b.

we left our mark today.
in a place everyone could see.
we don't want to be forgotten.

d.l.b.

i should really stop
writing this poetry when
i'm tired in bed

d.l.b.

i don't know what you're doing right now.
and frankly,
i'm not quite sure what i'm doing either.
but what i do know,
is that we're under the same sky.
and even though,
you could be watching a movie,
taking a dip in the pool,
or even just sleeping,
while i'm sitting here writing this poem,
we're together.
in a weird little mixed up way.

d.l.b.

one year.
with the people who understand me
with the people who love me
with the people who care for me
with the people who help me
one year.
and i couldn't be happier.

d.l.b.

being your friend
has taught me how to be a better person.
and i cannot thank you enough for that.

d.l.b.

i'm getting nowhere with you.
i try to reach out to you,
but you push me away.
what am i doing wrong?

d.l.b.

i'm too tired to
write a poem. i will dream
of you tonight, love

d.l.b.

we are both sleeping under the same stars,
we are both living on the same earth,
we are both breathing the same air,
we are both together,
even though we are far apart.

d.l.b.

it wasn't meant to be like this.
you aren't supposed to be there,
when i'm an the way over here.

d.l.b.

do you ever stay up untill the sun rises,
and think of me?
if you do,
i hope you are remembering all the beautiful memories we shared.
i hope you are okay.
because i'm not.

d.l.b.

our hands were so close today.
they were merely a few centimeters apart.
if i wanted to,
i could've reached out,
and held your hand.

but i didn't.

if you wanted to,
you could've reached out,
and held my hand.

but you didn't.

d.l.b.

i like to read
fairy tales and pretend
that you're the prince
who's come to save me
from this horrible disaster

d.l.b.

everywhere i go,
i see little reminders of you.
they follow me
and taunt me.
they want me to come back.
but i know i can't.

d.l.b.