my small little bedroom
had never been filled with so much joy.
it drifts through the air
and fills up my lungs.
it runs through my veins
and engulfs my soul.
my mind is filled with wonderful thoughts,
and my heart flutters at the sound of your voice.

d.l.b.

being with you,
is such a relief.
all my worries,
and all my fears,
they simply fly away.

d.l.b.

i don't like this feeling
please make it stop
why was i born like this?
afraid of every little thing

d.l.b.

i want you to like me
i don't want you to think i'm a baby
i wish i were older,
so i could be taken more seriously

d.l.b.

i haven't talked to you for 5 days
5 agonizing days
sitting around
waiting
for something
you

d.l.b.

you make me happy.
i haven't felt this way for a while now.
i really like you.

d.l.b.

this is what i love.
this is what i want to do.
this is who i am.

d.l.b.

you first talked to me a year ago today.
and i couldn'tve been happier.
what happened to us?

d.l.b.

your arms were around me today.
it gave me such a calming feeling inside.
to know you would protect me,
and hold me close when things got bad.

d.l.b.

my life is slowly turning upside down
and i want to stop,
but you're so nice to me

d.l.b.

it's time to move on,
it's time to let go.
but please know this,
i loved you.
and i will never forget the wonderful memories we had together.
goodbye.

d.l.b.

long nights, tired eyes.
a bit of joy when i see
your smiling face.

d.l.b.

do you find yourself thinking of me,
like i think of you?

do you smile at me,
like i smile at you?

do you cry over me,
like i cry over you?

do you love me,
like i love you?

d.l.b.

you don't understand
what it's like
to be so far away
from your best friends

you don't understand
what it's like
to have people expect you
to be perfect every day

you don't understand
what it's like
to be me

so stop acting like you do

d.l.b.

we made eye contact today.
and that one second
when we were just focused
on each other,
and nothing else,
was wonderful.

maybe next time
i can find the courage to
smile at you
when our eyes lock again.

d.l.b.

when i think of the first time our lips said hello,
i think of football jerseys
and my favorite pink lighter.
i think of sitting on a tree stump,
feeling so warm inside even though the temperature was cold.
i think of closing my eyes
and feeling your hands rest on the back of my neck.
i think of being with you,
and i think of never wanting to pull my lips away from yours.

d.l.b.

you held me today.
you held me like you loved me,
like i was just yours.

d.l.b.

don't hurt yourself,
my darling.
the pains in this world are only temporary.
you will soon be free.

d.l.b.

the times i miss you,
are the times i remember
you're not coming back.

d.l.b

i don't think things will ever go back to the way they were before

why did you cut me out of your life,
where i was lonely,
and sad,
and very confused

i know*

d.l.b.

everywhere I go,
i see things that remind me of you.
oh look,
he would like that.
oh look,
he would say that.
oh look,
he would do that.

d.l.b.

my best friend.
the one i can tell anything to.
179 miles away.

how am i supposed to live when you are so far away?

d.l.b.

i had a dream about you last night. i came to your show to surprise you and i sat in the second row. you came onstage and saw me and you smiled and i smiled and then you came down and sat behind me in the third row and put your hands over my eyes. you said you had a present for me. then i woke up. i don’t know what my present was. maybe you were going to tell me that you loved me. i don’t know.

d.l.b.

i think the reason i cry so easily
is because i don't have friends like you do.
i go to school every day
and i walk through the hallways alone.
i mean,
i guess i have some friends.
but nothing close to a best friend.
because that's you.
and i'm your best friend too.
but you have so many more.
and i think that's the reason i get so upset
when you tell me stories about them.
and i also cry
because i can't hug you like they can.
you're so many miles away
and my heart hurts so much.

d.l.b.

you make me so happy
and i can only hope i do the same.
do you smile when you think of me?
because i smile when i think of you.

d.l.b.

midnight thoughts of you
flow throughout my head.
do you still think of me?
i don't know if i'll ever be able
to forget about you.

d.l.b.

i really think he likes me

happiness
joy
fulfillment
wonder
anxiety
despair

i really think he hates me*

d.l.b.

you came running back to me.
and you only made things worse.
i cried over you too many times.
please go away.

d.l.b.

i like to imagine us stargazing late at night,
with pillows and blankets laid out on the grass.
holding hands,
singing songs,
everything would be perfect.

d.l.b.

looking in your eyes,
while you're looking into mine,
i feel important.

d.l.b.

i am nothing like she is.
don't get me wrong,
she's a lovely girl.
but she's not me.

d.l.b.

every one makes mistakes.
so i don't understand why this one is such big a deal.
i messed up,
so let's move on.
please.

d.l.b.

i wonder if you're tired of me as much as i'm tired of you.
i wonder if you've cried over me as much as i've cried over you.
i wonder if you think of me as much as i think of you.

i wonder if you loved me as much as (i loved you)

d.l.b.

it's almost been a whole year since we met.
did you know that?
one year ago i would've never guessed how badly you would eventually make me feel.

d.l.b.

standing next to you,
i felt nothing.
my heart didn't jump like it used to,
my hands didn't shake like they used to.

d.l.b.

you're moving on.
i know you are.
but i haven't stopped thinking of you.
you were a big part of my life for such a long time.
how can you throw everything we had together away?

d.l.b.

how do i get you out of my heart?
because even if they removed the *****,
you would still be there.
and even if they pumped out all my blood,
you would still be there.

d.l.b.

if we met, would you kiss me?
i sure hope so.
i wouldn't refuse.

d.l.b.

i gave you everything i had to give.
i told you all my secrets,
all my fears,
my goals in life.
i thought you loved me.

d.l.b.

memories are what destroys me.
remembering everything that was,
and everything that could've been.

d.l.b.

writer's block of hard to explain.
you know exactly what to say,
but the words refuse to be written down.

d.l.b.

you said hello to me today.

"hey diana!"

you have no idea how special that made me feel.

d.l.b.

i hope that someday,
you find a beautiful girl.
and i hope she loves you
even more than i did.
and i hope you don't treat her
the way you treated me.

d.l.b.

today's your birthday.
you're so wonderful, did you know that?
god knows if you'll ever see this.
i feel like i'm being pushed away by you.
but maybe it's just me.
happy birthday.

d.l.b.

you bring out the best in me.
and i will forever be grateful
for our beautiful friendship.

d.l.b.

you're gone now.
and i'm not sure i know what to do.
all i've been doing is cring,
and wishing you'll come back

d.l.b.

i hate being underestimated
just because i'm little.
little people can do a lot,
and most of the time,
it's the big people who mess things up.

d.l.b.

do i like you?
or am i just lonely?
if only there was a way to know.

d.l.b.

"you are a sweet, beautiful, and kind girl and i promise things will get better"*

it's been 2 months and 11 days.
and nothing is better.

d.l.b.

being your friend has taught me so much about myself.
it's taught me how to be patient,
how to be loving,
and how to be happy for others and what they are blessed with.
and i cannot thank you enough.

d.l.b.