for one last night
please,
don't ignore me.
make me feel wanted.
love me.
please.

d.l.b

i bought a ukulele yesterday.
i'm so excited to play.
my hands are much too small for a guitar.

d.l.b.

you are twinkling christmas lights over a snow-covered city.
you are the smell of the pavement right after it rains.
you are the silent hum of a hummingbird's wings.
you are the toothless grin of a month old baby.
you are the punchline to the funniest joke ever told.
you are the satisfaction of doing everything just right.
you are the shadow of an old church in the middle of summer.
you are the love letter a newlywed husband gives to his wife.
you are the crumpled pages of a book that has been read over and over again.
you are the cool breeze that blows through pretty girls' hair during the spring.
you are the ladybug that lands on the shoulder of a young boy.
you are the feeling one gets after they've had their first kiss.

you are everything that makes this world such a beautiful place.

d.l.b.

do i like you?
or am i just trying to fill the hole that the last boy left?
i wish i knew.

d.l.b.

maybe the reason my hands shook so much when you kissed me was because i was opening myself up to you. i was allowing you to explore the depths of my mind and all my insecurities were there for you to discover. i don't want you to view me as i view myself sometimes, i don't want your hands on my waist to turn into a guessing game. but oh god, when you kiss me it's like i can't even breathe anymore. i don't want this to end, but i'm scared that when you find your way to my heart, i'm not going to be who you want anymore.

d.l.b.

my goldfish is my best friend.
i can tell my goldfish anything,
she doesn't judge me.
she loves me just the same.

d.l.b.

i used to call you my best friend,
but now we aren't even friends.
i wanted you to stay in my life,
but i guess you didn't feel the same way.
i really did love you,
but you obviously didn't love me.

d.l.b.

stage makeup and lights
butterflies in my stomach
this is who i am

d.l.b.

school used to be a safe, warm, and welcoming place.
now it's full of liars, cheaters, and back-stabbers.
what happened to what used to be?

d.l.b.

remember when
we first met and I said that you were cute?
remember when
we joked about our futures together?
remember when
we made eachother laugh so hard we cried?
remember when
we used to stay up late talking to eachother?
remember when
you told me you loved me?

do you remember when?

or am i just a memory in the past?

d.l.b.

why do you like her?
she's rude, very insulting.
why don't you like me?

d.l.b.

i miss you.
i miss your corny jokes
and your cute little laugh.
the way you used to tease me.
i miss it.
please come back.

d.l.b.

losing my goldfish was sad.
not because she's gone,
but because I don't know what I did that made her go.
it's kinda the same way with you.

d.l.b.

the only good thing
that came out of liking you,
was some really good poetry.

d.l.b.

dreamcatchers are supposed to catch the bad dreams,
and keep them out of your head.
i have one next to my bed.
so why is it,
i still have dreams about you?

d.l.b.

sitting on the floor of an elevator, holding your hand, i realized how much i love being with you and how content i would be if i were in your arms every second of the day. standing in an old bookstore, watching you fumble through the fiction section i realized how beautiful your mind is and how much i adore your never-ending imagination. i never want to spend another second without you, it's hard to breathe when you aren't here. it's impossible for hearts to smile, yet you've found a way to make mine emit the biggest grin in the world.

d.l.b.

IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO FIND THE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL A SORT OF HAPPINESS THAT DOESN'T HAVE A WORD TO GO ALONG WITH IT. AND THE STARS IN MY EYES ARE SO MUCH BRIGHTER THAN THE ONES IN THE SKY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO STOP MYSELF FROM SMILING AT THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A FLOWER IN A GARDEN FULL OF WEEDS, AND MY HEART ALWAYS WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO YOURS.

D.L.B.

wrap me in your arms and tell me you love me
for then everything will be alright
no more worries
no more fear
no more cold and rainy days alone

come, and hold my hand
tell me i'm safe
sing me a song
a quiet, soft lullaby
no more bright and sunny days alone

come, and dance with me
make me smile
make me laugh
tell me stories to make me happy
no more days alone.

d.l.b.

my sweet little buttercup flower
what a joy you are
with your bright eyes
and your soft gentle smile
oh how i cherish your presence

d.l.b.

nobody has ever told me that i'm beautiful so many times that it repeats itself over and over again in my head. nobody has ever loved me so much, that everything in the world is suddenly better, and it seems as if the sun rises and sets just for me. nobody has ever wanted to kiss me, or even hold my hand.

but you do.

and i couldn't be happier.

d.l.b.

the moon envies the sun.
she keeps the harvest
and is praised for her ability to be generous with her glow.

but the moon fails to see
that the sun can also sting.
she ignites and enflames
and can hurt in the worst way.

the sun envies the moon.
she brings out the stars
and helps maintain the waters,
pushing and pulling the tide back and forth.

but the sun fails to see
that the moon brings along blindness.
sometimes she shuts herself off completely,
leaving the stars to finish her work.

the moon envies the sun,
the sun envies the moon.
they are completely different,
but completely the same.

d.l.b.

i often write poems about other people.
the boy who broke my heart in 8th grade,
my best friend whom i love so dearly,
my parents who just don't seem to understand me.
but i can never quite find the time
to write a poem about myself.

but how are you supposed to write about yourself,
when you aren't even sure who you are.
everyone else seems to have their life figured out.
but maybe that's why i write about them,
and not myself.

d.l.b.

my heart smiles when i'm with you, and the butterfly infestation in my stomach grows with every word you say to me. being with you, i find myself happier than I thought i could be. i don't know how you managed to capture my heart so quickly, so quickly that i didn't have time to catch my breath. you helped pick me up off of my knees and back onto my feet, and i cannot thank you enough for showing me so much happiness and care.

d.l.b.

if loving you has taught me anything,
it's to cherish every moment with someone.
you never know when they'll decide to leave.

d.l.b.

i may be a little hard to understand,
and i may be picky about which foods i like to eat.
i may be sleepy at 1 o'clock in the afternoon,
i may be disorganized and very clumsy,
or i may be crazy for my nighttime tea.
i may be critical,
i may be a light sleeper.

i may be a lot of things.

but i will always be yours.

d.l.b.

even just the little things you do
make me so happy
you're so adorable and cute
i don't even think you realize it

d.l.b.

i want to be reminded that you're here,
and you will never leave me.
because after the last boy,
i don't know who I can trust.

d.l.b.

i know i messed up,
and i know you probably hate me,
but i said i was sorry,
and i really am.

"don't you know what she did to me?"

at least i'm not holding a grudge over something so silly.

d.l.b.

i wish you were here with me,
so distance wouldn't be my biggest fear.

d.l.b.

there was a mouse in my math classroom today.
i saw it run across the floor.
it reminded me of myself.
scared.
confused.
worried.
poor little mouse.

d.l.b.

you were brought back into my mind tonight.
and it made me realize just how very much i am missing you.
i see bits of you everywhere i go.
there's a boy in my math class with your same name.
your name.
it's all i think of nowadays.
it repeats throughout my brain.
5 words.
2 syllables.
over and over again.
reminding me of how much i miss you.

d.l.b.

when you're hugging me,
all my pain just flies away.
nothing can hurt me.

d.l.b.

if you think so,
and i think so too,
why are we not agreeing?

d.l.b.

these feelings are different.
i once longed to talk to you,
i wanted your words of affirmation
and floppy brown hair.
but now everything's different.
i long your presence.

d.l.b.

you held me so much
that my hair has started to smell like you.
i don't want to wash this scent away,
i want you close to me always.
and when i bury my head into your arms,
i don't feel so alone.

d.l.b.

you said nothing was going to change.
but so much already has.
you don't see it,
but i do.

i'm sitting on the floor of my bathroom as i write this.
i looked in the mirror and i saw it all.
i saw the sadness,
and i saw the despair.

i wish things could go back to the way they were.
but that's awfully selfish of me.
i miss you.
and i know it won't be long until i never see you again.

d.l.b.

there's no place like home
bright lights, makeup, set pieces
the stage is my home

d.l.b.

i thought you had forgotten about me
so when i saw the message
pop up on my screen,
my heart overflowed with happiness
and excitement

d.l.b.

i want to meet a boy,
who treats me like i'm special.
who laughs and hugs and cuddles.
i want someone to love me,
and never leave.

d.l.b.

why do you ignore my presence?
i just want to be your friend
and you push me away.

why do you not include me?
i just want you to like me
but it's like i'm not even there.

d.l.b.

hugging you makes me
feel safe and secure. i want
to hug you always.

d.l.b.

oh my goodness gracious
you're the cutest
you make me so happy
and i just don't know
what my life would consist of
if you weren't in it

d.l.b.

i got us all matching bracelets today
i hope when you wear them,
you are reminded that i love you
and i will always be here
no matter what

d.l.b.

i feel as though
my lungs are being drowned in my own sorrow.
and my feet are being held down by 20 pound rocks.
and i feel as though
you're standing there watching me
as i struggle to get by.
and you don't feel any remorse at all.

d.l.b.

sometimes i pretend how life would be with you by my side.
no, not imagine.
pretend.
pretending is so much more valuable than imagining.
imagining can only take you so far.
pretending can take you anywhere
pretending is realer
and more fanciful.
imagining is cloudy
while pretending is crystal clear.
so no,
i don't imagine us side by side ready to take on the world.
i pretend.

d.l.b.

a new boy.
is this okay?
am i making a bad decision?
i don't know what to do.

d.l.b.

i wish i could walk to you,
so that you could see me in person,
so you could see how much this is hurting me.
i wish that you could feel my pain,
just for a moment,
so you could miss me too.

d.l.b.

"you are a sweet, beautiful, and kind girl and i promise things will get better"*

it's been 4 months and 16 days,
and i still think about you.
i spend my nights wondering what i could've done differently.
my pillow is soaked in useless tears,
and my hands shake when i hear your name.

d.l.b.

i am a mermaid.
lover of sea-life.
gracefully swimming without a care in the world.
gentle and kind to all things.
secretive and tucked away.
i am a mermaid.

d.l.b.