the moon envies the sun.
she keeps the harvest
and is praised for her ability to be generous with her glow.

but the moon fails to see
that the sun can also sting.
she ignites and enflames
and can hurt in the worst way.

the sun envies the moon.
she brings out the stars
and helps maintain the waters,
pushing and pulling the tide back and forth.

but the sun fails to see
that the moon brings along blindness.
sometimes she shuts herself off completely,
leaving the stars to finish her work.

the moon envies the sun,
the sun envies the moon.
they are completely different,
but completely the same.

d.l.b.

when i think of the first time our lips said hello,
i think of football jerseys
and my favorite pink lighter.
i think of sitting on a tree stump,
feeling so warm inside even though the temperature was cold.
i think of closing my eyes
and feeling your hands rest on the back of my neck.
i think of being with you,
and i think of never wanting to pull my lips away from yours.

d.l.b.

IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO FIND THE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL A SORT OF HAPPINESS THAT DOESN'T HAVE A WORD TO GO ALONG WITH IT. AND THE STARS IN MY EYES ARE SO MUCH BRIGHTER THAN THE ONES IN THE SKY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO STOP MYSELF FROM SMILING AT THE MENTION OF YOUR NAME.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A FLOWER IN A GARDEN FULL OF WEEDS, AND MY HEART ALWAYS WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO YOURS.

D.L.B.

my heart smiles when i'm with you, and the butterfly infestation in my stomach grows with every word you say to me. being with you, i find myself happier than I thought i could be. i don't know how you managed to capture my heart so quickly, so quickly that i didn't have time to catch my breath. you helped pick me up off of my knees and back onto my feet, and i cannot thank you enough for showing me so much happiness and care.

d.l.b.

sitting on the floor of an elevator, holding your hand, i realized how much i love being with you and how content i would be if i were in your arms every second of the day. standing in an old bookstore, watching you fumble through the fiction section i realized how beautiful your mind is and how much i adore your never-ending imagination. i never want to spend another second without you, it's hard to breathe when you aren't here. it's impossible for hearts to smile, yet you've found a way to make mine emit the biggest grin in the world.

d.l.b.

maybe the reason my hands shook so much when you kissed me was because i was opening myself up to you. i was allowing you to explore the depths of my mind and all my insecurities were there for you to discover. i don't want you to view me as i view myself sometimes, i don't want your hands on my waist to turn into a guessing game. but oh god, when you kiss me it's like i can't even breathe anymore. i don't want this to end, but i'm scared that when you find your way to my heart, i'm not going to be who you want anymore.

d.l.b.

you held me so much
that my hair has started to smell like you.
i don't want to wash this scent away,
i want you close to me always.
and when i bury my head into your arms,
i don't feel so alone.

d.l.b.

nobody has ever told me that i'm beautiful so many times that it repeats itself over and over again in my head. nobody has ever loved me so much, that everything in the world is suddenly better, and it seems as if the sun rises and sets just for me. nobody has ever wanted to kiss me, or even hold my hand.

but you do.

and i couldn't be happier.

d.l.b.

you said nothing was going to change.
but so much already has.
you don't see it,
but i do.

i'm sitting on the floor of my bathroom as i write this.
i looked in the mirror and i saw it all.
i saw the sadness,
and i saw the despair.

i wish things could go back to the way they were.
but that's awfully selfish of me.
i miss you.
and i know it won't be long until i never see you again.

d.l.b.

i wish i could walk to you,
so that you could see me in person,
so you could see how much this is hurting me.
i wish that you could feel my pain,
just for a moment,
so you could miss me too.

d.l.b.

you were brought back into my mind tonight.
and it made me realize just how very much i am missing you.
i see bits of you everywhere i go.
there's a boy in my math class with your same name.
your name.
it's all i think of nowadays.
it repeats throughout my brain.
5 words.
2 syllables.
over and over again.
reminding me of how much i miss you.

d.l.b.

i want to be reminded that you're here,
and you will never leave me.
because after the last boy,
i don't know who I can trust.

d.l.b.

i feel as though
my lungs are being drowned in my own sorrow.
and my feet are being held down by 20 pound rocks.
and i feel as though
you're standing there watching me
as i struggle to get by.
and you don't feel any remorse at all.

d.l.b.

school used to be a safe, warm, and welcoming place.
now it's full of liars, cheaters, and back-stabbers.
what happened to what used to be?

d.l.b.

do you think of me
when you hear my song?
does my name echo
throughout your mind?

d.l.b.

i feel as though
my heart is made of bark,
and every boy who comes my way
carefully carves his name into the tree.
and every boy i've ever loved,
has left their mark.
turning me into a canvas,
waiting for whoever comes next.

d.l.b.

you are always on my mind.
i cannot get you to leave.
it would be a benefit to us both.

d.l.b.

when i'm wrapped up in thoughts,
and my hands are shaking,
it's nice to be reminded that you're here.
and you will never leave.

d.l.b.

my feelings are so confusing
and i'm so tired.
i want to sleep
and sleep
and sleep

d.l.b.

"you are a sweet, beautiful, and kind girl and i promise things will get better"*

it's been 4 months and 16 days,
and i still think about you.
i spend my nights wondering what i could've done differently.
my pillow is soaked in useless tears,
and my hands shake when i hear your name.

d.l.b.

i don't like feeling sick.
go away please.

d.l.b.

i wish
you would come back
and tell me that you want to be friends.
and i wish
that if this is eating you up inside
like it is to me,
you will come back.
to make things okay again.

d.l.b.

losing my goldfish was sad.
not because she's gone,
but because I don't know what I did that made her go.
it's kinda the same way with you.

d.l.b.

you're cute and smart and funny and everything that makes somebody perfect.

d.l.b.

maybe i shouldn't have fallen for you so quickly.
maybe this would all be different.
maybe i wouldn't be scared to fall in love.

d.l.b.

she was close,
but not close enough.
he ran away,
but not far enough.

d.l.b.

i do not know how to love,
for my heart has been broken too many times.
i do not know how to swim,
for i am drowning in sorrow.

d.l.b.

get up! (you can't stay here)
get up! (you aren't coming back here)

d.l.b.

stop it!
i can't!
pull
please!
i can't!
pull
p
    u
        l
            l

d.l.b.

learning how to let go
is a very important skill to learn.
or else you'll be stuck
on the same pair of blue eyes,
until you finally forget
what his voice sounds like.

d.l.b.

i don't need makeup to know that i am beautiful.
and i cannot thank you enough for teaching me that.

d.l.b.

i miss you.
i miss your corny jokes
and your cute little laugh.
the way you used to tease me.
i miss it.
please come back.

d.l.b.

i know now what has happened.
and we have both apologized.
i want to be your friend.
please stop pushing me away.

d.l.b.

you do not understand
that you are so
beautiful!
and he is so
dumb
to not see that!

d.l.b.

i do not understand how you cannot love yourself.
you are the only you that there is.
your body is perfectly crafted just for you,
and your personality is like no one else's.
you are so beautiful
and i wish you could see the beauty in yourself.

d.l.b.

i want to be wrapped in someone's arms,
and told that i'm loved.

d.l.b.

life is so good
and god is so good.
i just wish you could see
all the wonderful things that are happening.

d.l.b.

i've just had a realization of how wonderful life is.
we are breathing, alive, and happy.
i am so blessed and life is so so so good.

d.l.b.

these feelings are different.
i once longed to talk to you,
i wanted your words of affirmation
and floppy brown hair.
but now everything's different.
i long your presence.

d.l.b.

is this the same "missing you" feeling as before?
my heart doesn't know how to mend itself
after being shattered.

d.l.b.

my sweet little buttercup flower
what a joy you are
with your bright eyes
and your soft gentle smile
oh how i cherish your presence

d.l.b.

do you find yourself thinking of me,
like i think of you?

do you smile at me,
like i smile at you?

do you cry over me,
like i cry over you?

do you love me,
like i love you?

d.l.b.

you said you loved me.
but was it all a big lie?
i thought you would stay.

d.l.b.

my goldfish is my best friend.
i can tell my goldfish anything,
she doesn't judge me.
she loves me just the same.

d.l.b.

the boy knows that he broke her.
he knows that she's hurting.
but the boy doesn't care.
he walks away.

d.l.b.

i wonder if to you still think of me.
i know things are different now,
but i miss your friendship.

d.l.b

you make my heart do little flips,
and my palms get a bit sweaty.
i'm falling for you.
catch me.

d.l.b.

forget about the boy,
and move on.
i know its hard,
but what you're doing is wrong.

d.l.b.

i want you to know your 2 am thoughts,
your favorite smells,
your quirks and habits,
i want to know you.

d.l.b.

i'm so sorry.
please, can't we make things right between us?
everything makes sense now.
and i'm so sorry.

d.l.b.