Your dominance shows like a beam of light
I can't contain myself though I try
Your loving just feels so right
Your cool fingers drawing circles on my thighs

Resistance is futile, I must submit
Sighing as we change positions; we're a perfect fit
Let me stay here with you—you're perfect

Fingers combing through your hair
As you whisper ***** secrets in my ear
The sun is coming up as we play our game of truth or dare
You whisper: stay in my arms right here

And I am more than pleased
To follow your instruction
Because I don't desire to leave
I am drawn by your seduction

I remember being about seven or eight years old. I remember my parents asking my sister where the scars on her forearms had come from. She had told them that she had seen a cat as she was walking home and that when she had tried to pick it up, it scratched her. They believed her; I believed her.

I remember it being a month or two after that. A counselor from her school had come over for an urgent meeting with my parents. I was young, but as I stood in the kitchen, I could piece together the point of all that was being said: my sister had been trying to cut herself in class using a pencil.

It didn't affect me then, but now I cry when I think about it because now here I am inflicting pain upon myself with any sharp thing I can find, anywhere I can be discreet, and blaming it on the pretty "cat" I saw. It didn't occur to me then that I would take her place once she got tired of playing that game. History does repeat itself; I just wish it had chosen someone else.

Night and day bleed into one another
No longer can I differentiate between one or the other

They both comprise the nightmares that keep me awake all night
Biting my nails and biding my time

My eyes are open. Do they ever close?
What day is it? Does anyone know?

Yes, I love you,
But it's useless,
Kinda like me.