I remember when things were so simple
I lived life without worry
nothing could hurt me

but that was before
before life twisted on the outside and in
before I knew true emotion

I thought it was over
the day I fell in love
all those days my feelings grew
the day I was crushed

I thought it was over
but it's happening again

laying in my bed
and I want to cry
I want to cry in my pillow
until my eyes die
I want to cry
but I don't know why

I want to stay in the shadow's grace
where no one can see my face
I want to stay in the shadow
I want to stay in the shade
I want to stay in the dark
where I have no name
I want to lose the world
and keep myself closed
I want to be cut off from the world
I just want to be gone

part of me dwells on my first crush
and the other part focuses on another
but she is just as hopeless as the first
that's just my luck I guess

we all have troubles
personal problems and inner feelings

no matter how alone you feel
there is always someone who will listen

just let it out

more people say they can't carry on
they say it will be better when they are gone

when I see worlds shatter
my heart breaks with it

let us help. let us pick you back up
before you are stuck in the ground

Emotion is like a campfire
You try to cover it with hard wood
but true feeling is in the burning coals

you cannot touch it
so you try to cover it
but it will only burn brighter

don't dwell on the past
or worry about the future
focus on the urgency of now
focus on today
because it may be gone tomorrow

Looking back... I can remember my foolishness
I thought I knew everything. I thought I figured everything out
I said some stupid things. Did idiotic acts
And then it took me long... Too long to realize
I knew nothing at all

lost in an invisible maze
someone needs to guide me

I am lost in a maze of thought
Even when things seem normal outside
There is too much to think about inside

Every feeling is meaningless without thought
The more you think, the more you feel
And yet the deepest thoughts are made from feelings

Thought is an ever-growing puzzle
You find and put together piece by piece
But the picture just keeps getting bigger

A boy knowing nothing
fell for the heavyhearted girl
realizing this love was in vain
he walked out a deeper person

A girl tender and innocent
crushed by a boy
longing and heartbroken
she walked out sorrowful


love changes you

I remember when I used to shed a tear every night
day by day, you made things better

I hope I am doing the same for you

I do not like masks
as they hide the truth
as I am left guessing
and I keep guessing wrong

I understand
that many wish to hide
their own bitter thoughts
behind their own mask

I use it too
but did I use it too much?
now am I too scared
to ever take it off?

if only I can find a way

to sever myself from what makes me worry

to free myself from this empty feeling inside me

to break away from this darkness

if only I can find a way

to see myself out of this maze

Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle [x2]

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my [x3]
Message in a bottle [x2]

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my [x3]
Message in a bottle [x2]

Sending out an SOS

when you say that you and him are not going well
the Hyde part of me says: "good"

but the rest of me is shocked
how is this good for anyone?

my favorite nights
are nights like this

I can hear the wind
and feel the rain
and witness the clouds
storming away

the stars are gone,
covered by the sky
when I look up I can see
what's inside my mind

my favorite nights
are nights like these
where my thoughts
meet reality

of all the days of my life
my greatest day
will be the day when things can't get worse

how can I escape my darkening thoughts
when surrounded by negative feelings?

with all the sadness around me
with so many broken hearts
my resolution is to make things better

somehow

nothing is going up
only down

no one is happy
only heartbroken

nothing is coming together
everything is falling apart

nothing is right
everything is going wrong

Teeth gritten
Fists clenched
Same song on repeat
"I hate everything about you"
Why is life so cruel?

even in the darkest despair
there is always a path to the light

everything torn can be mended
everything shattered can be fixed

through time and commitment
nothing is truly broken

even though I'm in a slump
I just want to tell you
it's not your fault

it's not your fault I came to you
it's not your fault you are heartbroken
it's not your fault you crushed me

I did a lot of thinking in 2 days time
Wondering what and how it happened
And i still don't know

We were both mad that night
Or at least i know i was
Talking about a subject that haunted me for the last year.

What do i want to do now?
I want to erase that night
Think as if it never happened
And take back what i stupidly said

to soar above the stars
or fall into the abyss
all it takes is one person

spades bear a pointed edge
and clubs are weapons of war
while many chase after diamonds
I search for my queen of hearts

Screamed into the air
Punched a wall
Threw a chair
Broke a window
Almost grabbed the knife
Then cried my eyes out

every time I see you
I'm torn on the inside

I wish I could just get in a rocket
and fly away

just one moment is all it takes
one moment, sometimes less than a second
and you will need to live with that mistake
for who knows how long

there is so much I want to say
but I don't know how to say it

deep and dark
and sometimes deadly
I hide in my room to find it

it tortures me
it tears my soul
I seek out others to escape it

I hate how I make one mistake

one slip-up

one single slip of the tongue

and I fear I messed up my life

and I hate it more

when my fears are realized

there are some days
where it's hard to look away


this is one of those days

what do I want most?
all I want is to be with someone

someone who I can lie next to
and confess what is my heart

someone who I can love without worry
someone who I can share my feelings with

someone that will understand me
someone I can care about

nothing used to bother me
until you came along
now there is something missing
an empty space I cannot fill myself

that time has come once again
when I can finally walk outside
and enjoy the fresh air

the sights and smells long forgotten
the birds happily chirping again
spring is finally here

the sun shines,
showing the sheen of the leaves
such is the beauty of spring

the pedals fall from tall trees
decorating they sky with pink and white
watching us from above
such is the beauty of spring

the warm breeze after the frigid freeze
makes me feel like I am flying
such is the beauty of spring

in an instant
just for an instant
I have a distant feeling
of the carefree past

but just as fast as it comes
it disappears
leaving me stranded in reality

I feel like I am caught in a high tree
far away from reality

I want to come down
I want to join the others

but I can only watch
as the moments fly by

how did I get up here?
and more importantly,
how do I get down?

Earphones in, and that one song starts playing
Instantantly, the music sweeps me back
Almost a year ago

Around the time I started listening to the smashing pumpkins
Back when things were so simple
Just before I life started to get twisted
When people were people and not problems

The music continues to take me in
I begin to recall specific parts of my not so distant past
Back when I was listening to the same song after school
Completely unaware of what was to come

The song ends
I am immediately thrown back into reality
Lost and confused
Only hoping to make it another day

what are tears?
A sign of weakness?

no
not to me

to me, tears are proof of genuine feeling
that you care for something you lost

I am not ashamed to cry

the path I need to follow
is more like an open field

a directionless plain
with no end in sight

moving forward blindly
will only end in pain

so someone please
tell me where to go

Thank you
for everything you have done to help me

without you
I would be lost and confused

Thank you
for listening to my problems
and understanding my feelings

Thank you
for never being angry
even when my feelings reached for you

Thank you
for helping me when I needed it most

headphones in
listening to that music

the music I listened to
before my life got twisted

I wish I could go back to that time
where it seems nothing could go wrong

everyone is searching for the same thing
shrouded in darkness

everyone going different paths
through false roads and twisted trails

I wish I could stop stumbling in the dark
but I'm stuck like everyone else

the more I think, the more I fear the problems that I need to face
some average everyday problems, but mostly my problem
I am missing something, and I know what it is
right now I need someone to love

I know people who know real heartbreak, and they suffer much more than me
but my problem still stands
even though I have the support of my friends
I still do not know exactly what to do next

sometimes I think to the past
I regret things that I have done
and yet I know
nothing passed can be changed.

why do I regret the past
when all I can do
is plan for the future