If you ask me why I want to die
I'll search for the answers
And look for the words
But I'll always come up
Empty.

And maybe that itself is the
Answer.

They say
only males **** themselves
with a gun.


**But all I can think about is blowing my brains out.

I keep telling myself I deserve more than this...
more than him.

*but what the **** does that even mean?

I shouldn't have to try so hard for men who mean so little.
I shouldn't have to strip down to bare skin and a cold heart for a false sense of love.
*** shouldn't be what keeps me grounded to this world.

**Family is.

I wear revealing clothes for the attention I swear I don't want.
I cut to search for the feelings that I swear don't have.
I have *** with strangers to find the love I swear I don't need.

*I'm ok, I promise

It's just so exhausting to love someone
addicted to
Something so terrible.
Something so destructive.
Its destroying him,
And it's destroying me.