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Devon Grey Mar 2014
I wanna be your princess
your star night beauty Queen
but everything is cracking-
there’s a girl inside of me

She tells me to leave you
for the place where the dead girls are
and all the sad things rattle around
under gold and diamond stars

And maybe, darling, maybe I will
Because I’m too sad to stay
and hollow girls don’t need love
because we’ll eat the pain away

So now I’ll take my pills
and drink my green tea
and float off to the pretty place
where all the dead girls dream.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
It will get Better in time.
Tomorrow will be Better.
You will get Better.

A day, a month, a year, I haven't seen Better.

The scars may fade but the memories remain.
And my surrounding may change
But no matter where I am, all people are the same.
They say are you okay?
Walk away, their day doesn't change
whether I say I'm fine or I'm going to die today.

"It will get Better."

So please people of the same world but a different universe,
Tell me when "It gets Better"
So I can too.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Falling in love is like drowning.
First it's starts out sweet and you're swimming
But then he stops calling
You get tired
Your feet stop kicking
And you feel the water rush over your head.

Falling in love is like drowning.
And I've drowned too many times.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Millions have seen me this year,
But no one has noticed me.
Thousands have seen me this winter,
But no one has gotten to know me.
Hundreds have seen me this month,
But no one has cared about me.
Some have seen me this week,
But no has asked if I'm okay.
No one has seen me today,
Because I was not okay.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Insane.
I-In an undeniable state of confusing. World spinning. Things Don't add up.
N-Nausea. The pills. The loss of blood. The sleepless nights.
S-Sit. To weak to stand. Never eat enough, that will make me skinny.
A-Abandon. No one left on my side- to crazy to understand, to silent to ask for help.
N-Never, never can I scream for help, my voice is gone for I scream at myself.
E-Everyone turned into no one, I am alone and insane.
Who said Insanity never killed anyone, I feel as though I'm already dead.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Music is my Anchor.
When the boat begins to stray from shore
Floating into the horizon, no where to dock
Music pulls me back in.
When I hear that one song that brings me to tears.
The relief brings me back.
And for a those 4 minutes and 15 seconds,
I am okay.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Hey sometimes best friend
How can you even know me?
When I barely know myself.
The truth is...
No one knows me

Hey sometimes best friend
Remember that time I told you I  was in love?
And then you went and stole him away.
I forgave you...
But I still remember

Hey sometimes best friend
The day I cut my wrists you disappeared
But you came back when I stopped bleeding.
To help me get through it...
I guess

Hey sometimes best friend
When you started hanging with other girls
I tried to hang too.
But you ignored me...
And turned your back

Hey
We used to be best friends
Then sometimes best friends.
And now not even friends
I was always there for you...
And you never were for me
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Maybe Scars are left to be noticed,
And made to leave a mark
Because they are like braille,
Every scar has a story behind it.

So run your fingers over people's scars,
And maybe you will find something new.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Empty hallways stretch before me
I look around and darkness surrounds me
I hear a scream
Encroaching blackness...
I realize it's only me
Scream. Scream.
Push back the night.
I push it back with all my might
My mind is too weak
Scream. Scream.
And every day empty hallways stretch before me.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
It is awful to feel sickened by the thought of myself
So is sobbing in the bathtub while the water hits my body
And soon my tears blend in with the ***** water

It is awful to avoid mirrors and to always look down
To hid from who I would see if I did

It is awful  to scream into my pillows every night
Hoping no one will hear the cries
Or staining my wrists with sharpie
To remind myself to stop eating
And to stop being me

Or living in my dreams of other peoples lives
Than facing the reality of mine
Self-hate is awful
But so am I
Devon Grey Mar 2014
Some call it crazy
Some say it’s sick
But I think it’s freedom
The pain is fierce but quick

Some say that it’s a sin
Just a little to risqué
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day

The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in

The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
I finally have room to breath
Devon Grey Mar 2014
I had thought I found the perfect guy,
one that knew how to treat me right.
But then I forgot to hold on tight,
and now he’s gone.

I should have pushed harder for us to work,
but I didn’t and now I’m hurt.
His picture won't erase from my mind
I think about him all the time.

He used to mean everything to me,
and now we can never be
I have ruined it all,
I say this as I slowly fall.

I miss the way it used to be
Just you and me
Everything inside me is dead.
And he won't ever get out of my head.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
I have this illness.
The doctors call it depression,
My "friends" call it insecurity,
Everyone else believes I'm fine.

I know that I am not

But what I do know
Is that I'll get through this.
Concentrate on everything good,
And push away the bad

I have this illness,
That never goes away.
I wish it would,
But I know it never will.
Devon Grey Mar 2014
What’s wrong
with me
What’s wrong
With you
What’s wrong
With us
Are we broken?
Can we be fixed?
How much longer can we live
like this?

— The End —