i let my fears out to the liquid night sky
they burst out my throat and eyes
an explosion of salty tears and choked sobs

they rushed forth into the dark
and as they dispersed they faded and changed
and I,
the epicenter,
fell to my knees
as the ripples returned

soft night winds carried whispers
to dry the tears
and the stars pulled up my gaze
deep and reassuring -
that I was and am, just as I should be,
right now.
and that one day yes, I would return to them.

so don't fear and don't fret little love.
just feel and be felt
love and be loved
because you are made of stars,
born to burn
born to shine
no matter or mind all the trivial things

energy and matter
crossed space and time to awaken in your eyes
right now

right
now

right

now.

I crushed a  little piece of her,
my strong little girl.
Her face blank, cheeks flushed red and eyes glossing over

she faked a smile, made a noise
and ran.

just like her mother.
and I sat with wind knocked out of me heart stopped for a moment.
a moment of mourning
for the innocence just lost.

I’m so sorry baby
I love you more than all of life. and I pray that by following my heart, *you will learn to do the same.

my soul is a blaze
eyes and heart
full
of things
my tongue is still to timid to say

but warm palms
and soft lips
put my stuttering thoughts
to rest
and my little voice
whispers
“it’s all going to be okay”

I know it.
I know it.
I know it.

It’s all going to be okay

it took EVERYTHING
in me

to walk away
to not touch

when every part of me wanted to turn around and crash into you with such force it would knock you flat.

with hungry hands, thirsty lips
a body that would bend (however you want it to bend)
a tongue that desperately wants to taste
limbs that want to embrace
and skin that craves the heat of skin



*what am I so afraid of?