Dev A

Dev A Apr 2013

Why do I keep checking my phone
Hoping and hoping that there'll be a message from you?
Or that you might just call?
Why is that glimmer of hope still lurking in the shadows?
I want you gone;
Out of my life,
Out of my mind,
Out of my thoughts,
Out of my dreams.
But still hope is lurking
Even when we haven't talked for weeks.
Even after I decided I didn't want to care anymore.
Honestly I don't want to care anymore.
Not when you never did,
Not after you used me,
Not after everything that passed between us.
I just want to forget it all;
Forget that it happened,
Forget that we ever met,
Forget that I fell in love with you.
I want this hope to leave
Never to come back.
But it's hiding in the shadows;
Just like in Pandora's box
Hope is the last to go.
Why do I keep checking my phone
Hoping and hoping that there'll be a message from you?

Dev A Mar 2013

---

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I ran to you for help
For someone to talk to
For someone to listen
For someone I thought cared.

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I never thought of the day that you'd graduate and leave me behind.
I knew I'd miss you
But I never realized why.
I thought it was simply because you were my best friend.

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I miss you more than ever
Now that I know I won't see you again
That you won't be there for me
That I don't have someone to talk to.

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
But I never thought of you leaving
I never thought we'd stop talking
I never thought we'd stop being friends
I never really thought.

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
But I never looked past that day
That week
That year.
I never paid attention.

I took you for granted
Always thinking you'd be there
I was wrong
I took you for granted
And never thought about the end of school
I took you for granted.
Always thinking you'd be there.

Dev A Mar 2013

...

She fell off the side
Of the steepest cliff.

She holds onto the edge
Hanging on for her life.

But her arms are tired,
So tired.

She's been holding on
for so long now.

Her fingers are bleeding
Just like her heart.

She's slipping
So slowly
Oh so slowly

Dev A Mar 2013

You Always Knew

You always knew when I wasn't okay
You could always tell with just one look
Then you'd sit down with me
And just listen no matter how long it took.

You were the only one
That would say, "Tell me the truth"
No one else has ever been able to see through this facade

Now that you're gone
I feel just as lost and alone
But even more because nobody's been able to see me
As you always could.

You always knew
And found a way to cheer me up
Even though we grew apart
And had different friends.

You always knew
And could make my day with just one hug
Just one smile
Just one small conversation.

These people I call friends
Have yet to figure it out.
I keep missing you
While waiting for someone els to say, "Tell me the truth"

You always knew
You always knew.

Dev A Mar 2013

I Need You

I need you
I need my best friend
Just for one minute
Can’t you stand by my side?

I have been there for you
Day in and day out
But not for a second
Have you stood by my side.

I need you
I need my best friend
Just for one minute
Can't you stand by my side?

Through thick and thin
I have always taken your side
But not in a while
Have you listened to me.

I need you
I need my best friend
Just for a minute
Can't you stand by my side?

I miss you
I miss everything that we were.
Laughing till 3 in the morning
Always there when we need the other.

I need you
I need my best friend
Just for a minute
Can't you stand by my side?

Dev A Feb 2013

You're just a Cliff Hanger at the End of Book One

Tell me why I’m so attracted to you
When you’re like just a cliff hanger
At the end of a book one.

You tell me I’m special.
Text and call me all day long.
Then you just leave me hanging,
Wanting to know what happens next.

One moment you’re here with me
Holding my hand tight.
Then I find myself waiting for the next book
Wanting to find out what happens.

I keep imagining different scenes
Running through my mind
But I won’t know how everything plays out
Until I read the next book and see you.

Tell me why I’m so attracted to you
When you’re just like a cliff hanger
At the end of book one.

Dev A Feb 2013

All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted
Was for you to love me.
Instead you criticize everything I do
You tell me you don’t trust me.
All I ever wanted
Was for you to stop yelling
Just for five minutes.
Now I’m locked in my room hiding from you.
All I ever wanted
Was for us to be close.
A mother that I could talk to.
Instead here I am wishing for five minutes of peace.
All I ever wanted
Was for us to be able to share experiences
But here I am counting the seconds until I can go to college and leave you.
Even though you hate me choices.
All I ever wanted
Was for you to listen to me
Instead I’m talking to my teddy bear
Crying myself to sleep.
All I ever wanted
Is now
Just a crushed dream.