Dev A

Dev A Jan 2012

Your love is what has killed me.
Your love is what has torn me.
Your smile.
Your laugh.
All the times were together
All I can think about
Is your love.
Hugs, smiles, laughs,
All signs of you love.
Now alone
I think about your love.
This world is hard to walk
Without a hand to hold,
Without a heart to share,
Without your love.
Walking this world is hard enough already;
Hiding the pain,
Wearing an invisible mask,
Finding those who care
And those who don’t.
Your love holds me here.
Or should I say
What I wish your love was.
Your love,
Or lack of love
I should say,
Kills me by the second.
Tears me apart
From the inside out.
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Both destroying me.
Slowly,
Very slowly.
I wish this love could be shared,
But sadly,
It cannot.

Dev A Jan 2012

The Tempest

All's hushed as midnight on a summer's night.
Summer is never fully existent.
Immortal possession is naught with man
Unnatural though thou radiant night

Indifferent man, silent whisper of night
A serene warning in lovely disguise
The unfading tempest, journey to man
A foolish *****, desire for revenge

A vague figure from the silence of night
Hag born from the abyss of perdition
Starting of end, beginning of no end
Condemning man to an eternal life

As long as this lives in memory
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee

Dev A Jan 2012

prisoner of life

these anchors on my feet
are all that are holding me
they are too heavy to move

each time i try
they slip out of my hands.
too heavy and too slippery.

these weights are holding me back
making me stay when all i want
is to spread my wings and fly.

but my feet are anchored.
my wings are tied together.
i'm stuck.

these steel ***** hold me here.
each time i try to leap forward
i'm pulled back and slammed back down.

how much longer must i be a prisoner
a prisoner of my own life?
how much longer must i be pulled back
and thrown back into the same cell
before i realize i must be patient?

i'm a prisoner in my own life
and yet i can't free myself!
my feet are held to this earth
by the titanium blocks
of a high schooler's reality

Dev A Jan 2012

fallen

so high
so far.
it's a long way to go.

these broken wings
they won't last long
i'm already starting to fall.

after all that i've been through
just to stay strong
it's too much to lose

and yet i'm falling
fast and far.
there's nothing left to hold me up.

these broken wings
have fallen apart
now i'm falling
falling
ever so fast
ever so far.

Dev A Jan 2012

Friendship

if you're my friend
then why do you never listen?
if you're my friend,
then shouldn't you care that i'm hurting?

i thought we were friends
because i have always been there for you.
i thought we were friends
because i stood up for you.

if you're my friend
then why do you always talk over me then laugh when somebody else says the same thing
if you're my friend
then shouldn't you at least pretend to care that this is the way i am?

i thought we were friends
because we did almost everything together.
i thought we were friends
because i showed up to your dance recitals.

this is not a real friendship!
this is only one-sided.
can a friendship even be one-sided?
can i ever just walk away?

the day that you realize
how much of my hurting comes from you
is the day
that it will be much too late.

friendship is both people caring
both people listening.
friendship is both people being there
both people taking away the pain, not causing it.

what we are
is not friends.
it's time to say good-bye
so good-bye, it was nice to know you

Dev A Jan 2012

Life

Life is an uncertainty
An uncertainty full of mystery
And intrigue.
Life can go out in a flash
Or a bang.
But as long as there is somebody there beside you
There is nothing to fear.
We all have our dreams
Our hopes.
We all have our fears
Our nightmares.
But to live life
Is to overcome those fears
To reach those dreams.
Nightmares and unknown hopes
Are obstacles
In living our dreams.
Life is an uncertainty
An uncertainty full of mystery
And intrigue.

Dev A Jan 2012

Weekend Nights

You go out and get drunk every weekend.
You go and ruin your life,
And then ask me to fix it.

I stay home and write every weekend,
While trying to figure out
How to fix your problems.

You go out
And then tell me about what happened,
When I really don’t care.

I stay home
And listen to music and watch movies
Which is what I really want to do.

You go out
And forget that we were ever friends,
At the same time you ‘need’ me.

I stay home
And do my homework
And then you copy it because you were drunk all weekend.

How do I tell you?
That I want to be friends,
But not if you keep ruining my life as well as yours.

I want my own life.
I want it to go back to the way it was
The way we laughed,
Stayed up late talking,
Dancing in the rain.

But instead
You’re coming over to crash
Because your parents don’t know that you were out
They don’t know that you were drunk.

Why are you dragging me into it?
I don’t want to be a part of this
I don’t have the time
I have my own life to worry about
But it mostly consists of taking care of you.

How did this happen?
Why am I in this position?
I want to be friends
But not if it means me lying to your parents
Not if it means I don’t have a life.

I don’t know how to help you.
I don’t know what to do.