As I chase a shadow within the night's embrace

I feel the ground tugging at my feet

Looking around and all I see is death surrounding me

The tombstones, they seem to dance around me and mock my existance

I run as fast as my legs will carry me, away from the feel of the night

Roots unearth themselves, tripping and ensnaring me

They pull me down and I scream for assistance and help...but no one answers that call

No sound passes my lips as I am left to fight them off

~Alone again and forevermore~




Copyright/All Rights Reserved Liliana Marks 2011

If my eyes should betray,
pluck them from their holes.
and if my hands deny you,
cut them from my arms.
and when my feet turn away
from us
smash me at the knees
for I would rather be
blind and lame
than not be yours,
in your garden of grey blooms.

I saw your best friend yesterday,
and she reminded me
of the best friend
that you had never really been.

You gave me the Y
and the ability to ponder.
Why is it so hazy
in the kitchen?
I recall the feel
of the virgins blood
spilt on the floor,
slipping between my toes
on sunday mornings
because you didn't have
to work those days.
But we never sat at pews,
just at the kitchen table
with bacon and eggs.
Menthol and tunes of green grass
and high tides in the air
and Gordon is sitting
on the counter top
waiting to tip it’s transparent
courage and laughter
into a short glass with Coke.
I never got your hearty mustache
like the october leaves
still gripping boughs.
Or your terrible eyes
plagued with coke bottles
since the days of your diapers
but we had the same silhouette
and I never grew out of that

18 years in and I fought for
freedoms, or my own life.
But we clashed like titans,
****** noses and split lips.
You didn’t like the idea
of me on your own,
so why not beat eachother
senseless till we each need
a Handle to stand and stumble.


20 years now and you tell me
How the levees of you vision
crumbled to the words that
I’d be dead within the hour.
So I imagine you handled that,
much like you would now
when bills smile from the mailbox
and the day mom decided we didn’t need the 84 Cutless supreme.
“Grab me a short glass!”

I’m still here.
Almost 21 years later
Saturday night.
and we sit on the deck
burning different flavors
because you like mint and
I smoke a natural blend.
I drink 14's while you still
pour Gordon’s with Coke.

And tomorrow morning Mary will be bleeding for breakfast.

The bottom of this glass,
Has never been so clear,
Doused in so much thought,
Tells me what I fear.

The liquor tells it all,
Watch it now take wing,
And as they call my name,
I feel nothing.

And what would put me in denial,
To see a shining smile,
This is broken glass,
Tiny pieces. All is smashed.

If you could save us,
Slowly set me free.
The feeling hits my brain,
All is done in vain,

Behind this jester’s grin,
Reveals so many sins,
Pours whiskey in the jar,
This process starts again.

So many people,
            So many places,
              So many
Roads.
We weren't brought by
             Chance,
     Not by luck,
        
          But
By
              God.
Where ever you are,
     Who ever you are,
Your there
                 For
         A
                              Reason.
You may think
           You have no
            Purpose.
          But
You
       Are
          Wrong.
         What is your
              Purpose?
             It's
                     Unknown
       But to
                       God.
Live your life
    Knowing that
       You
              Have
                        A
                           Purpose.
That You are
               Meant
                        To
                    Be
           Where you are.

I am here.
I am, now.
I am not there.
I am not, then.
This is the purpose of my existence.
I look up at infinity.
I look up into the past.
What I see is not what is.
Close your eyes, shed the glasses.
What I think is what is.
Reality is limited only by thoughts.
Unleash them. Set them free. Experience. Perceive.

Feet singe the carpet outside the door.

Once again, I'm tickled black.

The shadows creep, the darkness plunders.

No one is there.

Mind agitation; sleeps glares down the clock.

Hear the cry, the eyes awake.

Crisp and young, they sense a being.

A frail hand hugs a tender ****.

Not a soul to speak.

The darkness laughs! But behold, a sound.

He's cowers. His mistakes, ascertained.

Begging for mercy, but too late is it now.

The feet smell the patter of the rain.

"Forewarned.", snarled the storm.

And the water cooed her subjects into the abyss of sweet slumber...