The stardust was falling from the heavens
that night
Our hearts outstretched to each other, our eyes gazing in wonder
Hands were held, words were passed
And the thoughts of love fell into a deep
slumber.

Can you remember the way things once were…
Innocent children playing together
not having to worry about life
or that they were boy and girl…

Let the heavens open again
pouring out its magical dust
its rain, its snow, its hail and sun
the love, the pain, the happiness, the past.

Let time heal all wounds and widen
smiles with the hopes of a new tomorrow
with answers to the questions
and what is sure to follow.

I am tired (I know) of the
what if’s, the what was
or what will be.

I am tired of the emotions
(inside) which seem to
control my thoughts.

I am tired (do you know?) of the
conflict between
the ‘what this is’ and
‘what this is not’.

Because it is: neither
and/or; it is/ is not; both
and neither.

I am tired (I think) of
being tired. Of keeping
it together; not cracking
on the surface.

Because honesty this time has
failed to cure these
symptoms,
like before.

I am tired. Just
tired.

But I won’t let
You go.

I am restrained. Through my own choice mind you.
We’re playing a game with very high stakes.
And we’re both trying to keep our cards very close.
But as this progresses, we each take more cards, and
At some point our hands are going to be too small to manage.
Our cards will fall, and the game will be up.

As we play, this game requires honesty and sharing.
Denying oneself is like starving a flame of oxygen.
It needs a little bit to survive, but not too much to start a fire.
Denying oneself is like starving oneself of food.
One needs food in moderation to live and be healthy.
Just for now, lighten your grips on the reigns.

How else can one find the middle ground?
The median is the middle of a low and a high.
And one needs to test and test and test again.
Just remember if the ride gets too bumpy, then its
Always okay to take your foot off the accelerator again.
There is no penalisation for attempting, for being brave.

I miss you.
I think of you.
You make me happy.
And I’m not ashamed of honesty.