You think I'm so
Scared of you
Your insults
Haunting my
Every waking moment

You think I'm afraid
To hear the same thing
Every single day
Be reminded
I'm dumb I'm ugly
I'll never be good enough
Not for you not for me
Not for anybody

Just remember
I know what you think
I know I can't do anything right
The insults just keep coming
Until I can't handle it

One day I disappeared
Went away
Because your words may
Have scared me
But your words
NEVER did more damage
Than the knife

You think I need to be saved
But how in the world
Are you going to save me
When I can't even save myself?

Attacked at every angle
Outside forces
Inside forces
School home
Fighting the pains of
Being all alone

Try hard as you might
Stick by my side
Hold my hand
Guide me to a better place

You fought
For me
For us
To keep me strong
I knew you'd never save me
I was already too far gone

Wake up
Get ready
Go to school
Hang with friends
Come home
Head straight up to my room

You think I'm so
Secretive so
Very sneaky for
Taking time to be alone
Fight the demons
I try so hard to not let out

But you don't know that
All you see
All you've ever seen is me
Isolating myself
If you think I'm
Protecting myself
You couldn't be more wrong
I'm protecting YOU from the
Hell that constantly torments me

Words
What do they mean?
Who do they benefit?
My words never
Come in my favor

I say something
It gets twisted
I speak my mind
I get shut down
I don't speak up
I'm hiding something


Maybe once I stop
Stop opening up
Stop talking
Maybe that's when
You'll finally learn
How to listen

Growing up kids get told
"There's nothing wrong with
Being who you are"
"You can be anybody
You want to be"
"You are special"

Unless of course
You are different
Not a stereotyped that
Can be boxed and put away

You are only wanted if you
Act and look a certain way
Skinny but still look like you eat
Smart but not so smart it's intimidating
Talk and be kind
Don't say too much or be too nice
Then you'll come off as creepy

Tired of spending days
Being quiet when
There's so many things to say
Staying up late
Contemplating ways to
Be who I was told people would like

It's hard trying to fit in
When you always stand out
Scratch that
Get left out

I've tried everything
To be who you want
Why can't I just be me?
I don't know how to be
Some puppet controlled by society

Drowning in this
Hell of my
Own personal misery

Losing control of
Myself and sanity
Searching for a friend
Some light that can help me

Not quite sure what to do
Have little faith left
Holding onto shreds of hope

Sanity slipping away
Grasping onto a
Sliver of hope that
I can be saved

Feeling my heart go up in flames
Can't hold in all this pain
Burning soul lost all hope
Clawing for something to hold onto

Heart of ice grown so cold
Iced out forever
Frozen down to the core

One moment hot next he's cold
Love then hate
Fire then ice

Driving me crazy
With his vices
Love or hate
Who is he to me