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Desert Rose Feb 2013
Black and blue marks
Cover her worn body
Influenced by alcohol
Worse than that
Is when her father
Goes below the belt
Without her consent
At least those scars
Will eventually heal

People always tell her
That she shouldn't be here
No one wants her
They all wish she would just disappear
Vanish from existence

Why are you alive?
Is a tornado in her mind
Twisting her emotions
Blowing away any
Chance of happiness

No drug or
Has done enough
To erase all the
Memories of her
Broken childhood

She welcomes the
Devil
Into her
Sadistic world
For he is the only one who
Truly understands how to
Make her past disappear
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Nothing is worth suffering for
Especially not this life
Especially not after all that you did to me
Those thing’s I’ll never be able to forget
Like the life I used to lead
That had to be left behind
No it’s not worth suffering for
At least not the way I suffer
How I try to make it better
Nothing is worth suffering for anymore

It’s not easy to leave things this way
With so much left unsaid
But if I’m going to survive
It’s better  for me if I leave
Before you really do break me
Into a shadow of who I used to be
So the way it is now
Is the way it’s going to have to stay
Unless time takes the pain away

There won’t be any goodbyes this time
Because there’s really nothing left
That I need to say
About what you did to me
All the pain that you caused
I was so young
There was nothing I could do to stop you
When you never felt the slightest bit of remorse
You didn’t care at all
How much you changed the colors of the universe

You know how I felt
You knew you hurt me
You never had the power  
To make me stay
We both knew this wasn’t going to last forever

What you did is not okay
What you did is never going away
What you did I will carry with me
Like the weight of the world resting on my shoulders
What you did will define the rest of my life
What you did is something I will always remember
No matter how hard I try to forget
But no matter how bad it is
I refuse to be a victim

What you did made me afraid of you
Afraid of all people
Darkened my view of everything
You decided to create scars all over my body
That I had long ago imprinted on
Even when I did nothing wrong
You liked to scream and yell all the time
Yet your words weren’t your greatest weapon
Your words never hurt as much as your arms
When they repeatedly made those black and blue scars
That may heal on my body
Won’t ever heal from my brain

Nothing you did hurt as much as when you didn’t listen to me
When you wouldn’t listen when I said no
You had so much power
You were so much stronger
Nothing will ever be as painful as when you went down under
You crossed a line, crossed a boundary
Went a little too far
Took away the one special thing
Meant just for me
Took away an experience that was supposed to make me happy
Took away something special
That I was saving for a special somebody
You took away the one thing that was supposed to be MINE

You took away everything that was important to me
There’s nothing left of who I used to be
You changed me permanently
The damage you’ve done will never leave
I just really can’t believe
That I thought we were meant to be

All the scars are never going away
What you did is forever here to stay
In my heart
Those scars aren’t ever going to fade away


My heart is ruined
I’ve lost all hope
I’m not okay
But somehow you’re perfectly all right
All I can ask is now that I know you’re gone forever
Will that make me feel even a little bit better
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Oh you
What were you thinking that time
Didn’t you know you’d always be mine
Why?
Why did you think I’d leave you
Didn’t you know I loved you too
Didn’t you know
I couldn’t live without you
If
You ever leave me again
Just know that there won’t always
Be another second chance
This time
I decided you were mine
That this time you’d  
Really changed and you’d
Be able to stay by my side
I will
Believe in you
Hold onto you
Do everything I can to show you
How much I trust you

Forever
Can’t be too far away
Hopefully you’ll be able to stay
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Do you see me-
I mean the real me
Not this image I
Half-heartedly portray myself to be

Do you know me
Anything about what’s inside
Or the pain I go through
Each and every day

Who do you think you are
To say you know me
When everything you see is a lie
The truth isn’t something you want to hear
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Take me in and hold me tight,
Let me stay with you through this endless night,
Don’t wanna leave; go away
Wanna sprout wings and fly away, just so long as you’re here to stay
Just wanna be around to here you say it’s gonna be alright it’s gonna be okay
Please I’ll do anything just let me stay
Hold me in your arms I promise you that I’ll never run away
Take me in and hold me tight,
Let me stay with you through this endless night,
Don’t wanna leave; go away
Wanna sprout wings and fly away, just so long as you’re here to stay
Trust in me and I’ll trust you,
I’ll do whatever you want me to
Never stray I know we’ll be okay
Desert Rose Feb 2013
No one ever said
Forever would be easy
Past infidelities and abuse
They still carry around
Ghosts that still haunt them
While you still have your
Self doubt, anxiety, depression
Hidden away in those dark places of
Who you are and used to be

You accept their
Paranoid nail-biting nervous hair twirling
Impulsive pen tapping incessant gum popping
Greed indecision pride, nosiness, sarcasm
Deal with their
Stubborn, psychotic, drama queen
Multiple personality moments
Which are less than desirable
Parts you wish
Weren’t always there

Like when they’re sobbing so loud
It’s impossible to hear them
Or they get so scared
You have to talk them down Off the ledge
Backed so far into a corner
All they feel is the pain inside
They’re so weak
You have to hold them up
Support their weight
While the universe
Crumbles around them
When tricks become the truth
Mistakes that still remind us of forever

Still, most of love is in the fights
Arguments on the edge of rational
Cement your relationship in place
That prove being together is
Worth the pain

Sometimes small arguments
Like where to go or who pays for what
When you go out
Turns into a fight where
The tiger tears open a new wound, roars
MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
Someone’s face turns into a ripe tomato
That needs to be picked
Smashed against the wall
Juicy pulp and seed
Splattering everywhere

Still, the black rose blooms
From the same seed
Scraped from the wall
Where it grows into a beautiful flower
That only guarantees
With a little care it can last
Forever, still
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Falling outside of reality
Fighting my way through
Dark places of my insanity
Fighting to get back
Into the real world
Back outside the depths of my mind

No one’s waiting for me out there
I’ve pushed them all away
Pretending I didn’t care
Now that I‘m practically gone
Just fading away into yesterday
It’s hard not to wonder if
Anyone is out there
Waiting to tell you
Just how much they love you

Losing grip
Of what is real here
Don’t know how to get back
All I have here is me
I have to fight this fight
Break free of everything
Everything holding me back from
Being the strong, confident person I know
I’m supposed to be
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