I walk through life hoping to find that something that will get me through. I live in a world that has been created by forces outside my control and frankly that scares me. I seem to feel alone all of the time even though there are millions of people around me, I dont see them all I can see is there fasad, that face they put on so people cant know the real them. For some reason or another we all feel the need to hide who we really are, maybe its so we dont get hurt, maybe so we dont feel pain or anger or frustration from the real us. Im sick of hiding who I am, Im not afraid to get hurt, im not afraid to feel. I am just a person looking for the point to this inane existence. I cant figure out what it is that im supposed to do, so I run from everything hoping I wont have to, but im tired of running. If any one can tell me what the point is, then please do because im out of breath and cant run any more. If the to my friend blog was about me then maybe you can help.

Maybe im the one who doesnt see whats rite in front of me

Maybe im the one who cant hear whats being said

Maybe im the one whos always wrong even when others say im rite

Maybe im the one who needs to leave before you start the fight

Maybe im the one who needs to say im sorry if ive done nothing wrong

Maybe im the one who caused all the trouble in the past

Maybe im the one who will make you laugh just to laugh

Maybe im the one who knows who you really are inside

Maybe im the one whos been jaded by society

Maybe im the one who has nothing to say

Maybe im the one who has nothing to show

Maybe im the one you here when you cant sleep

Maybe im the one you see out of the corner of your eye

Maybe im the one who whispered in your ear and just kept walking bi

                           But then again Maybe not

Death does not **** it self, but lives within itself

Subsisting on failed dreams and shattered hopes

Believing only in lost love and misguided deeds

Needing only to come knocking at hearts door

and bring the recipient to a different reality

For though who grieve the dead and dying they need only see what lay on the other side of deaths door

For those who believe, death dose not come to destroy family, friends or love, but to make stronger the ties that bind those hearts together for ever.

Death is never takin seriously until someone close to you dies. When someone commits SUICIDE where do they go? Why is it that even if you expect IT to happen sometime, it still hurts when IT does? Why is it that those closest to you seem to be the ones that DIE first? Who am I to turn to when there isnt anyone there ? One of my best friends KILLED himself today, I dont know how to handle IT. I know IT hurts inside like a piece of me was KILLED with him. I know that I feel guilty for thinking that he was a cowered for doing IT. I dont think I should, should I. I know he wouldnt have wanted me to cry for him but I still did. I was just thinking of him today too before I heard the NEWS. I'm still crying inside. YOU SUNOFABITCH WHY DID YOU DO IT?

People are ****** boring. Thats why Im ****** snoring.
So I must decree that I wish to ****** flee.
Need to leave this place. For fear the lines on face, become the cracks in floor.
Want to walk through that open door. Run as far, as fast as can fall, before the mocking bird doth call.
Must find that thing that entertains, must find that thing for perfect gains.
Pain within the heart, will surly come apart.
Unless to find a place to free the mind then ware forever do we start.
Even if it seems as though theres no ware left to go, insanity your last resort,
then come and join me in the chair and see if I ****** care.

  If ever there was a point to life, then why can't it be seen with simple human eyes.
Or shall it be that no one hears the cries, the whaling soul to extole a price that can't be paid
for a life that cant be laid, down upon its'
feet. For entertainment that it seeks is not at all discreet.

  So if you please recommend to me something that I can see.
Your take hold and feel so bold, as to see the point in this boring ****** life.
Carry round the misery and the ****** strife. Then sink into flesh and wound,
and those whom should have swooned. Its all the same for everyone the games we ****** play,
wish to just escape the world its so ****** gay.
See me here with out the cheer to get up off my *** and make a pass at this ****** race.
If all there is ****** fake people then get off my ****** case.

Okay **** it, it just boring so now Im ****** snoring, yet again, isn't this how I did begin.

When clouds fade away revealing beautiful day. A tone is set for us take the way. When eyes are bleeding from the fleeting. A tempo is reached for those beseech and those traveling weary on there way. When tears have groan to fill the heart and years have gone by to cover the pain of self regret. Are there none here whom cant see the evil we create. When mournful crys turn to tormented lullabies and the harbinger stands ready at your door. Do you finally see the pain Ive shown for all these years before.Theres nothing left but to confess the pain I feel each day. When I see my self and know that I cant get away. After all the tears and all the years, after all the clouded jaded judgment passed I still feel the pain so vast. As the knife cuts away the eyes that see this torment and the heart that feels this hate, theres nothing that can be done to make this pain abate.

Forlorn and hating life
The swine that feels the sudden strife
Has come and gone on tomorrows wings
Has fled this place of hopes and dreams

A time thus robbed and cant obtain
A simple freedom to sustain
When this life has payed its final debt
The reaper comes to collect

An eternity  goes by before we notice what is gone
And then we see what we couldnt see
What was there just yesterday is gone for good
A life wasted trying to get back what we never had

A single tear a cascade of weeping uncontrolled
All the past comes rushing back
The memories so hard forgotten a flood of wasted time
Wasted again in this emptiness nothing to cling to

Fear of losing the only grip obtained through constant struggle gained
Fear of dying alone without ever saying goodbye
Fear of fear and all that is misunderstood
Fear of living in this cold lonesome dingy place

A ragged man  pulls himself out of bed
Only to face another day of being alone
Only to be rejected again by those who once knew him
Only to suffer another cold night without comfort

A ragged man tries to find another meal
Only to spit on and beet down and made to go away
Only to try and stave off the pain in his emty stomach
Only to find a meager half eaten burger

A vet who risked his own life
So we could have the things hes trying to get
So we could complain if we dont like it
So we can try and change what doesnt work
Not too be spat on and made to go away

I didnt ask him to do what he did
I never knew him so what difference does it make
Im not the one who spit on him
It wasnt me who beet him down

All those it wasnt me's and I didnt do it
That has all been said before
but how many times have you passed a man on the street holding a sine that reads:    HOMELESS  DISABLED VET
                     PLEASE HELP GOD BLESS
and just passed him by without a second glance or thought of him.
You may as well have spit on him or beet him down or told him to go away.

All the what ifs and if onlys he's already asked himself
So this ragged tired man gets wasted again.

Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
The gap between you and I the gap that cant be filled
You see me on the street everyday yet ignore me
I suffer the starvation that humanity has forced upon me

Everyone says they want to do something about the homeless
Why not just do what Rudy Juliane did
Put us all in jail
Why suffer us yet another empty day

When you lay down your weary head
You dont think of us the ones you dont see
Oh you see us with your eyes
But you ignore us by your deed

Some of the homeless may have chosen to be ware they are
Some did not
For those whom  did not you see them as the bain of humanity
You see them as the gum on the bottom of your shoe

Something to scrape off on the curb and be forgotten
Something to be discarded in the refuse container
Something that you think really isnt there
Something you can only hope to cast out with disdain

Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
Suffer the starvation that humanity has forced upon me
Suffer another empty day
Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge

Suffer  me humanity, Suffer Me humanity, Suffer  Me Humanity
SUffer ME HUmanity, SUFfer ME HUManity, SUFFer ME HUMANity
SUFFEr ME HUMANIty, SUFFER ME HUMANITy, SUFFER ME HUMANITYYYYYYYYY