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Sep 2014 · 501
Sweet Sticky Surrender
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
Milk is where we meet in sweet
sticky surrender to honeydew feet
Bow to the pleasure of flesh and flood
Bow to the taste of honey and blood
We are but that which created this flesh
Our milky white sinfully delicious goodness
We come as we please but are we to tease


Do we know what we do when we fall to our knees
We slip and we slide, in honey we glide
we poor out of flesh to crave of desire
where our milk falls pooling, heated in ire
We **** and we poke each dip of the skin
We play with honey as if it's a sin
What have we to do but role in our lust
and drink of this sweet sticky milk we must.
Sep 2014 · 499
Milky White Flesh
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
She is but honey where pure, perfect passion races

Flowing in all the right  satisfyingly sensual places

Somewhere between the slippery sheets digress

A sumptuous tease in a temptingly playful caress

I drip my hands slowly down her bare naked chest





Salty sweet, a delightfully tasty, slow sticky treat

She is the liquid, languid on my wandering tongue

Rolling around in her mouth as she's stung

Hers is the pleasure in the warmth of her heat

Warm flowing honey on milky white flesh
Sep 2014 · 466
Mountain Dew
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
Green hat sat red worn
Blocked by empty vision
Red hat lay green torn
A traditional Japanese Haiku as I understand them to be written, though not in a single vertical line in the traditional Japanese form.
Sep 2014 · 382
Fire and Thrill
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
As the fire builds from tips of toes so too do the woes.

Oh my the passion rising from depths of lust to the core of wanting

A MUST.

I must have that which is denied, the kind of thing seen but not eyed.

I must posses that beautiful being, I am in need of her heartened sting.



She tickles and teases her way from my toes and on up my legs her passion goes.

She stops just short of my yearning thighs and whispers sweet nothings, "hellos and goodbyes"

She continues her fingers on their wonton ride. Motionless, breathless, she lies in wait as she claws at my side.

Bighting back the sting of the pain, I writhe in ecstasy as I scream out her name.

She digs in deeper, drawing tears to my eyes. I moan softly and whimper, covering my cries.

Demanding I do as she tells me to do, I fall to my knees and worship her shoe.

She demands attention and have it she will. She is my passion, my fire and thrill.
Sep 2014 · 518
Afraid of Our Fellow Man
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
We're as fake as the plastic melting under our skin

The collective imagination of a societal binge

Our beauty is a mask, a lie told to us by magazines

The product of industrial dreams, all fantastic schemes

We live in a Barbie Doll world, where we worship fake *******

We lift weights at Gold's Gym while we pound our huge chests  

We know nothing of true beauty, under the façade of the Glossy

Eight by Ten



We cover our blemishes and we can't even be comfortable in our own skin

We are infatuated with the surface, skin deep, lustful of the pretenses  

Our masks hide our vulnerabilities and our true intent

While reality is crumbling at our feet and we hide beneath a veneer of

A glossy face shot, the airbrushed images on the cover-girl-poster-boy-pin-up centerfold

   We've lost sight of the aged and the gifts they hold

Celebrities ride around in window tinted limousines, so they can't be seen but we're so pretty that we have to preen



The paparazzi all want the next shot for the next scandal but they airbrush that too

We are so busy believing the lies that we have become afraid of the truth

Camera's are as ubiquitous as grass and our privacy is all but laughable while our smiles aren't genuinely affable

We post pictures of ourselves on Facebook, yet our self esteem could use a second look

We talk each other up and beat each other down, but we're keeping it onehundred while hiding a frown

We've become fast paced and slow witted, we're breaking the seams that our families knitted

We place beauty on a pedestal and worship at its alter, but we fail to foster true beauty in our children and wonder why they falter



We listen to society and shun our parents, our role models have become degenerates

We allow our little girls to  dress like tramps and wear makeup and our little boys don't respect them and treat them like toys

And we wonder why they cut themselves  

We pay movie stars and football players millions so we can entertain ourselves

But we can't pay our teachers enough to educate the masses

yet it's okay to collect a check and sit on our *****

And our troops don't have the armor they need because of our self indulgent greed

We forget about the little guy as we climb the corporate ladder to survey the sky at the top

But when the **** goes down, we can't pick up a mop

We won't lift a finger to lend a hand because we're so afraid of our fellow man
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
I am the unseen in the corner of the seen

I am that which you hear but cannot hear

The thing, incipient, in the corner of your mind

The way and truth of the kind

I am that which you fear but you know nothing of fear



Here, in this place, you are lost to me, you are dead to me

Here, now, I see only a vacant spot

A diminutive existence of what used to be, a nothing, a void

You are an empty shell dashed on your own hardened heart

That little less than a piece of falling apart



You are the beginning of the falling apart.

A waste of time and space

You are disgraced among men of your kind

And in time you will be nothing more

Than a forgotten fragment of memory.
Sep 2014 · 347
Think of Me Always
Derick Van Dusen Sep 2014
I would shine upon the gloom
I would take away the frown
Granted your wish to me

I would bloom in your heart
I would comfort your soul
Growing in the ****

I would watch over you my child
I would help you along your path
Blessing fall upon you

I would desire to come true
I would write a life anew
Sleep in love my child

I would think only of peace
I would think only of you
Think of me always.
Aug 2012 · 919
but Truly I Am Rich
Derick Van Dusen Aug 2012
Rich. I am not. Poor. I am not.
Nor do I have any money to speek of.
But I am rich beyond my wildest dreams.
I have a family that loves me, a daughter I love dearly more than my own life
and will treasure more than any bill can pay for strife.
I follow no greed to its end for I know what road gold will lead you down.
I know that in the end, I wish my family to be around.

Money buys not happiness nor does wealth buy true friends.
For they cannot be purchased by wicked, evil ends.
I have no penny in my pocket, nor have I a dime to my name
but I know that I am happy and will not live in vain.
Clothes do not make the a man and tattered are his wrags
To riches I will set myself apart and in poverty take my stand
for I know what true riches are even though I too wear my wrags.

So busy yourself for all your toil and make your money fist over hand.
In the end you die a lonely, bitter, broken man.
But when my grave calls me and before it I stand looking in.
I will die with a smile wider than monetary riches could ever buy.
For I am poor and have no home but truly, I am rich.
Aug 2012 · 871
Love Lost Never Had
Derick Van Dusen Aug 2012
Flawed eventless, the muck to the mire
To the river crimson with lustful haze.
Supressed desire flows like light, rapture to the gaze.
Feverd, clamy, tossing, turning
Lying wrestless on the floor.
Sarrow slips, through the cracks,
to come smashing through the door.

Famin parched, the scream to the cry,
to the path trampled in fits of rage.
Unrelenting fire, burns like ice, denile in a cage.
Calm, relaxed, watching, breathing,
Standing idle at the sash.
Anguish waits at beck and call
to come crashing  through the glass.

Hidden in a seamless world of delight and joy and glee
A fractured cloud of misery waits
to have its cake and thee,
to reval as it sulks with company.
Ever growing spawned by fear, deathly silent in its' plea
Eating away at the sinews of faith,
dispair awaits its' time to flea.

Akin to death, friend to evil, slient screaming in its' vain
Dissolving with trust the passion of the lust
Envy plies to its bain.
Passion and fire, burning desire, these monsters are not the same.
All too familiar, confusing just the same, betrayed by flesh.
What is there cannot be had, for surely this is no game.
Aug 2012 · 1.9k
Friction of the Fraught
Derick Van Dusen Aug 2012
Dance in dark
Delight in days
Revel in reality slipping slowly to the gray.
Inky black comfort dripping into haze.

Distraught in denile
Damaged in disdain
Rememberd reason trembeling in shadows to the grave.
Nervous the edge of sanity sinking slowly below the brave.

Cringe in quiet
Crumble in cacophony
Bask in benign indifference to the coming of the fray.
Shape the broken mold into which is squezed the clay.

Form in function
Friction in fruition
Extrapolate from nothing what is real of what is fake.
Drive doom through the heart wooden to the stake.

Damaged and distroyed, disturbed and distrought, this is the friction of the fraught.
Aug 2012 · 498
Senseless to the Void
Derick Van Dusen Aug 2012
In the untimely event of my demise
Someone please pluck out my useless eyes.
Because when death comes to take its' tole,
I wish not to see that empty hole.

Dark and dingy musty earth,
rot and rancid smells at birth,
doth contend to trust not worth.
Bring forth out of filth and mire to purge mine nose of its' desire

Hear mine ears the worms that squirm,
below that massive earthen berm.
Cast out the sounds of pleading death,
take no more from lungs, my one last breath.

Feel the roots clawing through skin,
take not heed of where the've been.
Covered dirt to marrowed bones,
death waits for the to fill its' catacombs.

Taste of the thy wretched dung,
flick out of the thy evil tongue.
Speak not for grace in such a place,
where time has rendered the thy final resting place.
Feb 2011 · 512
Dying Angel
Derick Van Dusen Feb 2011
My dying Angel I'm sorry that I lied,
Cause even though I tried, I know that I cried,
When I could not save you and you died
I should have held my tongue, but how could I know,
That an Angels life was on the line and I'd have to watch her go.
   My dying Angel, glowing in your blood,
My eyes  have never witnessed such a peaceful death.
Like white hot embers rising from the fire,
Pieces of her drift slowly out of view.
Cast thine eyes toward the heavens, look with your heart
And there you will find her.
   My dying Angel W hat is there I can do to help the?
Quickly though I realized, it was only that I knew, no help indeed was needed.
I hear the light escaping to the stars, going back to hence it came, to live a life a-new.
So on I go knowing, what an Angel must go through, to protect their charge
ever watchful of impending heavy burden, death and doom and gloom.
   But what happens when an Angel dies is a bewilderment in beauty and peacefulness
and few have ever witnessed all that Angels do. So to my dying Angel,
I say thank you, for everything that I did not know you've done.
But still I stand before her crying, because I did not know that this was one.
Feb 2011 · 825
Your Not Poor, Your Blind
Derick Van Dusen Feb 2011
Climb up the mountain, get knocked off.
Claw, fight, scratch, bight, only advance one rung at a time
and get knocked down two.
But if you got the stones, make bones make the bones fo ya.
Corse you can always line "the mans" pockets, make sure they's plenty uh padding for em to fall back on, try to guid em to the ground so they can bust they face to make they place they pocket the man in yours further a bidness is difficult to mind but the rewards.
   Start early, Stack up the bones, Got enough?
Spend more ona bigga house, betta whip, mo toys.
Get anotha credit card to pay off the interest of the previous, ohhh dont yoo feel devious? Cause you look suspicious! Or invest, play it safe, stay back away from the edge, nothing risky, always stagnant, never moving forward faster than the safety net can keep up, boring. Or, invest, learn something, keep learning some-things, all the time, never stop and have, love, cherish, enjoy family and you will never be poor again.
Feb 2011 · 2.1k
Tattered Wings
Derick Van Dusen Feb 2011
Ive got an Angel watchin
His tattered wings wrapped round my shoulder
Beaten, I lay broken, in tattered Angel wings
Bruised, I am battered, on tattered Angel wings.

   Slowly I weaken, consciousness is gone
Bruises becomes badges, where bleeding used to be
Broken bones mend like solid stone, Granite on my feet
Ive got an Angel with tattered wings.

   Ive got an Angel watchin
He mends the mangled mind, manic, megalomaniacal  
He takes the blows my soul cant handle
Ive got an Angel with tattered wings.

   Ive never said thank you for all that hes done
But without God, he would be none
So I give thanks to God
For the Angel with tattered wings.

   His feathers in disarray, some missing
Wounds Garnered from a life commanded  to protect one
Commanded to serve, no matter the cost, taking on what I lost
Ive got an Angel with tattered wings and when I'm taking
a leave from me he brings me back my sanity.
Dec 2010 · 585
This Is Me Plain To See
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
I walk through life hoping to find that something that will get me through. I live in a world that has been created by forces outside my control and frankly that scares me. I seem to feel alone all of the time even though there are millions of people around me, I dont see them all I can see is there fasad, that face they put on so people cant know the real them. For some reason or another we all feel the need to hide who we really are, maybe its so we dont get hurt, maybe so we dont feel pain or anger or frustration from the real us. Im sick of hiding who I am, Im not afraid to get hurt, im not afraid to feel. I am just a person looking for the point to this inane existence. I cant figure out what it is that im supposed to do, so I run from everything hoping I wont have to, but im tired of running. If any one can tell me what the point is, then please do because im out of breath and cant run any more. If the to my friend blog was about me then maybe you can help.
05 boardem or inspiration which ever
Dec 2010 · 566
Maybe Im the One
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Maybe im the one who doesnt see whats rite in front of me

Maybe im the one who cant hear whats being said

Maybe im the one whos always wrong even when others say im rite

Maybe im the one who needs to leave before you start the fight

Maybe im the one who needs to say im sorry if ive done nothing wrong

Maybe im the one who caused all the trouble in the past

Maybe im the one who will make you laugh just to laugh

Maybe im the one who knows who you really are inside

Maybe im the one whos been jaded by society

Maybe im the one who has nothing to say

Maybe im the one who has nothing to show

Maybe im the one you here when you cant sleep

Maybe im the one you see out of the corner of your eye

Maybe im the one who whispered in your ear and just kept walking bi

                           But then again Maybe not
05 Maybe or Maybe not yeah its 05
Dec 2010 · 567
DEATH DEATH DEATH
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Death does not **** it self, but lives within itself

Subsisting on failed dreams and shattered hopes

Believing only in lost love and misguided deeds

Needing only to come knocking at hearts door

and bring the recipient to a different reality

For though who grieve the dead and dying they need only see what lay on the other side of deaths door

For those who believe, death dose not come to destroy family, friends or love, but to make stronger the ties that bind those hearts together for ever.

Death is never takin seriously until someone close to you dies. When someone commits SUICIDE where do they go? Why is it that even if you expect IT to happen sometime, it still hurts when IT does? Why is it that those closest to you seem to be the ones that DIE first? Who am I to turn to when there isnt anyone there ? One of my best friends KILLED himself today, I dont know how to handle IT. I know IT hurts inside like a piece of me was KILLED with him. I know that I feel guilty for thinking that he was a cowered for doing IT. I dont think I should, should I. I know he wouldnt have wanted me to cry for him but I still did. I was just thinking of him today too before I heard the NEWS. I'm still crying inside. YOU SUNOFABITCH WHY DID YOU DO IT?
)% translation might be needed
Dec 2010 · 945
Foredom Buck
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
People are ****** boring. Thats why Im ****** snoring.
So I must decree that I wish to ****** flee.
Need to leave this place. For fear the lines on face, become the cracks in floor.
Want to walk through that open door. Run as far, as fast as can fall, before the mocking bird doth call.
Must find that thing that entertains, must find that thing for perfect gains.
Pain within the heart, will surly come apart.
Unless to find a place to free the mind then ware forever do we start.
Even if it seems as though theres no ware left to go, insanity your last resort,
then come and join me in the chair and see if I ****** care.

  If ever there was a point to life, then why can't it be seen with simple human eyes.
Or shall it be that no one hears the cries, the whaling soul to extole a price that can't be paid
for a life that cant be laid, down upon its'
feet. For entertainment that it seeks is not at all discreet.

  So if you please recommend to me something that I can see.
Your take hold and feel so bold, as to see the point in this boring ****** life.
Carry round the misery and the ****** strife. Then sink into flesh and wound,
and those whom should have swooned. Its all the same for everyone the games we ****** play,
wish to just escape the world its so ****** gay.
See me here with out the cheer to get up off my *** and make a pass at this ****** race.
If all there is ****** fake people then get off my ****** case.

Okay **** it, it just boring so now Im ****** snoring, yet again, isn't this how I did begin.
Explicit in 05
Dec 2010 · 551
Pain Beseeched
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
When clouds fade away revealing beautiful day. A tone is set for us take the way. When eyes are bleeding from the fleeting. A tempo is reached for those beseech and those traveling weary on there way. When tears have groan to fill the heart and years have gone by to cover the pain of self regret. Are there none here whom cant see the evil we create. When mournful crys turn to tormented lullabies and the harbinger stands ready at your door. Do you finally see the pain Ive shown for all these years before.Theres nothing left but to confess the pain I feel each day. When I see my self and know that I cant get away. After all the tears and all the years, after all the clouded jaded judgment passed I still feel the pain so vast. As the knife cuts away the eyes that see this torment and the heart that feels this hate, theres nothing that can be done to make this pain abate.
Just guess when this was penned. Thats right 05
Dec 2010 · 892
Wasted Again
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Forlorn and hating life
The swine that feels the sudden strife
Has come and gone on tomorrows wings
Has fled this place of hopes and dreams

A time thus robbed and cant obtain
A simple freedom to sustain
When this life has payed its final debt
The reaper comes to collect

An eternity  goes by before we notice what is gone
And then we see what we couldnt see
What was there just yesterday is gone for good
A life wasted trying to get back what we never had

A single tear a cascade of weeping uncontrolled
All the past comes rushing back
The memories so hard forgotten a flood of wasted time
Wasted again in this emptiness nothing to cling to

Fear of losing the only grip obtained through constant struggle gained
Fear of dying alone without ever saying goodbye
Fear of fear and all that is misunderstood
Fear of living in this cold lonesome dingy place

A ragged man  pulls himself out of bed
Only to face another day of being alone
Only to be rejected again by those who once knew him
Only to suffer another cold night without comfort

A ragged man tries to find another meal
Only to spit on and beet down and made to go away
Only to try and stave off the pain in his emty stomach
Only to find a meager half eaten burger

A vet who risked his own life
So we could have the things hes trying to get
So we could complain if we dont like it
So we can try and change what doesnt work
Not too be spat on and made to go away

I didnt ask him to do what he did
I never knew him so what difference does it make
Im not the one who spit on him
It wasnt me who beet him down

All those it wasnt me's and I didnt do it
That has all been said before
but how many times have you passed a man on the street holding a sine that reads:    HOMELESS  DISABLED VET
                     PLEASE HELP GOD BLESS
and just passed him by without a second glance or thought of him.
You may as well have spit on him or beet him down or told him to go away.

All the what ifs and if onlys he's already asked himself
So this ragged tired man gets wasted again.
Wow 05 really
Dec 2010 · 4.3k
Lest We Suffer
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
The gap between you and I the gap that cant be filled
You see me on the street everyday yet ignore me
I suffer the starvation that humanity has forced upon me

Everyone says they want to do something about the homeless
Why not just do what Rudy Juliane did
Put us all in jail
Why suffer us yet another empty day

When you lay down your weary head
You dont think of us the ones you dont see
Oh you see us with your eyes
But you ignore us by your deed

Some of the homeless may have chosen to be ware they are
Some did not
For those whom  did not you see them as the bain of humanity
You see them as the gum on the bottom of your shoe

Something to scrape off on the curb and be forgotten
Something to be discarded in the refuse container
Something that you think really isnt there
Something you can only hope to cast out with disdain

Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
Suffer the starvation that humanity has forced upon me
Suffer another empty day
Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge
Low I go to sleep under my filthy bridge

Suffer  me humanity, Suffer Me humanity, Suffer  Me Humanity
SUffer ME HUmanity, SUFfer ME HUManity, SUFFer ME HUMANity
SUFFEr ME HUMANIty, SUFFER ME HUMANITy, SUFFER ME HUMANITYYYYYYYYY
I wrote this in 04 posted on myspace in 05
Dec 2010 · 512
Nothing As Yet
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
I wander along these empty streets and wonder when im going to get to ware I dont have to go.
I wonder if I'll wind up dead and how I got to ware I am.
I wonder ware the day will carry me and ware Im going to lay down my head.
I try to find comfort in the smallest thing only too realize there is nothing there.
I simply wander aimlessly and hope I dont hit a ****** tree.
Yet maybe if I did that would help heel the wound left there by the ******* free
Heal the wound that floes so free so for all of you and me too see
Heal the wound that floes so free put there by humanity
Heal the wound that cant be healed. put out the fire that doesnt burn

Feed the hungry, help the pore, find whats real and do some more
Look upon this empty earth and see what we have to birth
Look upon her sad and lonely face , she takes you away to another place
A world that you dont see from here ware you can think that its not real

I wander along these empty streets trying to make since of this
I wonder ware im going to go from here that really isnt too important to care

Heal the wound that cant be healed, put out the fire that doesnt burn.
This was written in August of 05
Dec 2010 · 752
Its Alright Im Here
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
You cant let your self see
You cant let your self bee

Your tired of hiding form it
You dont want to run from it

Why cant you let your self go
Why cant you let your self  breath

Its not as bad as it seems
You've got to let go of your dreams

Your not that way anymore
So just let your hate walk out that door

You didnt want to do what you've done
But now you've made amends to all of their friends

And now your talking again
So now were back  where we begin

You still wont let your self see
You still wont let your self bee

You still want to hide from it
You still find your self running from it

So please let me help you let  your self go
So please let me help you let your self breath

How can you ever be free
If you dont let your self see

Your not that person any more
You've let it all go rite out the door

I know cuz I was standing rite there
When all the sudden you collapsed in the chair

You fell in a heap in my arms
So I kept you safe from all harms

When you came up off of your knee
You looked up and said to me

Im not that way anymore
That person walked out the door

So now that you know
Why cant you let it all go

Dont worry I'll be rite by your side
Encase anything happens to you inside

So now you can let go and hold on to me.
Its all-rite, Im here.
05 what a year
Dec 2010 · 785
Im Fallin Im Broken
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Can't you see me standing there
My fingers running through your hair
I whisper gently in your ear
Hoping desperately that you hear

I'm trying to tell you
That I love you
I'm sorry for the pain I caused
I'm sorry for the tears you cried

I'm fallin so help me
To get back upon my feet
Then I'll show you
That I'm worth it

So let me prove to you
Just what I'm willing to go through
So you know what I will do
So you know I still love you

I want to feel your breath upon my skin
I want to lay side by side with you
Until slumber takes this weary sheep
And when I wake I want to see you lying there

Inside my wanting heart
You'll always be a part
Inside my wanting soul
Your love will be held whole

Your stronger than I'll ever be
For putting up with stupid me
Your better than I'll ever be
Cause you see what I can't see

I whisper gently in your ear
Hoping desperately that you hear

I'm trying to tell you
That I love you

I'm sorry for the pain I caused
I'm sorry for the tears you cryed

I'm fallin  I'm broken
I'm disintegrating  into nothing
Without you here by my side

I'm fallin  I'm broken
O5 again and again I wrote alot that year
Dec 2010 · 433
Am Lost Within Me
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In this world I've been lost for over 30 years
Until you found me and helped me shed my tears
For I know somewhere in this heart of despair
I'll find the strength to heal this tare
Within this broken heart
Are pieces falling apart
Within this broken soul is
The life that has come apart
Inside your mind I will find
The piece of me I need to see
Inside my heart I'll take apart
The piece of me that can not be
I've come a long way in this slowly dying day
When all is lost and nothing can be gained
I'll find my way and there I'll stay
Been lost through all these years
Shed many a torrential decaying tears
Mine heart will heal mine soul awake
My mind be the my pain to free
Mine time is come to leave behind these fears.
More 05
Dec 2010 · 498
Take Flight Devine
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In this world, in this time, in this space
I feel as though there is no embrace
As if I cant escape this hollow face
In this life, in this strife, in this face
A love so real it cant take place
A heart so healed it cant feel your disgrace
A soul so bright it is your long embrace
Come unto this love of mine
Feel whats there to be had
Come unto this love divine
Take whats here and dont be sad
Dispose of hate to embrace love
Dispose of pain to embrace pleasure
Dispose of jealousy to embrace acceptance
In this world for all that is right and true
Nothing can take away the love we've shared
Let not those that are against you pain you
Deceive not those whom love you
Heal the broken soul so that it can fly
Let these words take you ware they will.
05 and still alive
Dec 2010 · 549
Which Path To Choose
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In life there are tribulations, mistakes
that can not be changed, hard lessons to
learn. Walk down that rode the one that
forks at the end. You've been there before
you'll go there again. You've chosen the
left and it was wrong. So why do you choose
it yet again? You've chosen the right and
you have seen that it was rite. So why do
you not choose it now? Why must you continue
to make the same mistakes? Do you not see?
Do you not learn? Is every rode you walk
down forked at the end? Can it not bee that
you are condemned to commit the same egregious
errors with every intrinsic decision you
make? Can it not bee that it is within your
power to change such a devastating fate.
Maybe it is not, but you shall soon see!
05 friend 05
Dec 2010 · 493
And I Am Week
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Nothing in life is so bold as to give it
Up. To that end we guard it tirelessly.
We do whatever is necessary to keep it
We will fight to the ends of the earth
To stay alive and free. Yet we are so
Blinded by our struggles and pursuits
For a greater more rewarding life, that
We don't see the life we are taking
We see it every day yet ignore. Read it
In the paper yet don't understand. Watch
It on television yet don't give it a
Second thought or a first glimpse. We
Deny it at every turn, yet try to protect
It from every onslaught. Life and freedom
So ingrained that we cant see past our
Physical form. Yet in these words I betray
My loathing of it. My acknowledgment of life
My denial of life My betrayer. My mind in
Life My power in life My supremacy.
And I am week!
05, you got it, good job
Dec 2010 · 724
Mine Broken Vision
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Mine heart is broken
Crushed upon the shore.
For me there comes no reprieve
Or hope lasting evermore
I dare to dream
Yet cant envision life with this regret
Redeem myself I've yet to do
Have not I found but look for you
Haunting thoughts have yet to wither
In this dingy day
Mine eyes cant see what I imagine
Yet there your scolding image lay
Guess What 05
Dec 2010 · 727
Revenge Is Your Own
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
You know your lifes on the wrong track
If you start now you can get it back
You dropped out of school and got a McJob
Now all you do is sit there and sob

Now your all grown up
Two kids one in each arm
And all your mistakes
Have only done you more harm
You have to start a new life
To leave all the strife
Leave the past where it lay
Before this dying day

Lets take a trek to the top of the mountain
See whats there to behold
To come in away from the cold
Lets take a trek to the bottom of the valley
To come in away from the rain
Instead of suffering in the dank hard day

Take your life in your own hand
Change your mind and make your stand
Take your life in your own hand
Change your mind and make your stand

Your own pride has left you empty inside
Your own foolishness has left you empty inside
Your own ignorance has left you empty inside
Your own selfishness has left you empty inside

Now youve nothing left to do but wallow in pity
Stew in self loathing
Flounder in indifference
Enjoy your steely calm for this time being
Revenge is a beast best loosed enraged.
One more 05 please
Dec 2010 · 850
Forever Fear the Numb
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In a moment its all gone
In an instant all is lost
Do everything you can to keep
Keep insanity at bay
Convince yourself that your not crazy
To no avail all has failed

Try as you may
You cant avoid your future grim
Truth is your already there
Pampas in your contrite little way
You make your eneptyness known

Come let me convince you
Let me help you see
Let me help you bleed thrue the truth
Let me help you find your flaw
Come let me conceal you

Happy are you to hide
Happy are you to run
Happy are you to cringe
Happy are you to bend
To my will happy are you

Ill bleed you an ocean of love
For you to hide your pain
An ocean calm smooth as silk
A ripple in your hate
An ocean tempest ruoph as sand
A ripple in your fate

Broken heart tapped together
Pieces of your love
Broken soul sown together
Pieces of your life
Broken mind stitched together
Pieces of your pain

Comforted by the indignant
Captivated by the incredulous
Confirmed by the ineffable
Condemned by the individual
Contrived by the inescapable

Your heart is numb for lack of need
I'll teach you to feed thine own greed
Your mind is numb for lack of  not
I'll show you for what with to be kot
Your soul is numb for lack of seed
I'll reveal you for us simply to let bleed

In your field of vast decay
Your body there forever will it lay
On your mountain of highest devotion
Your soul will forever be in persecution
In your valley of phaltless plunder
Your mind there forever will it wonder

In the end I can not help you
For you know not what you've done
All is gone in the blink of the eye
In your retched little world shalt thou dye
another 05
Dec 2010 · 14.9k
Roses White Orchids Black
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
If your favorite flower is the rose
Do you not then liken yourself to a rose
Is not your beauty equal to that of the rose

Behold I stand perfect beauty
A white rose among the thorns
Behold I stand for you to see
A perfect beauty inside of me

If mine favorite flower is the orchid
Do I not then liken myself to the orchid
Is not my beauty equal to that of the orchid

Behold I stand handsome beauty
A black orchid among twisted roots
Behold you stand for me to see
A handsome beauty inside of you

A single petal of the rose so delicate of it self
A single petal of the rose so flawless of it self
Delicate beauty equaled only by delicate perfection
Flawless beauty equaled only by flawless grace

A single petal of the orchid so sensual of it self
A single petal of the orchid so ****** of it self
Sensual beauty equaled only by sensual grace
****** beauty equaled only by ****** perfection

Where there is white rose there is you
Where there is black orchid there is me
White Rose Black Orchid You and I
Wherever you go there too will I be

Does not the rose equal your grace
Does not your beauty equal the rose
Does not the orchid equal my strength
Does not my strength equal the orchid

Doth not the white rose possess the black orchid
Can not they bee one can not they be the same

Doth not you have mine heart
As the white rose has you
Doth not I have your soul
As the black orchid has me

The orchid has fallen for the rose
Has fallen for the orchid
And in my field of white roses
You stand a sultry orchid black

If only to look if only to feel
If only to hold if only to love
A rose white is me this night
Take from me this rose white

This rose white this orchid black
Together as one we cant take back
Wrote in 05
Dec 2010 · 732
The Bed Youve Lain
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In your later years
Will you still have all the same fears
  In your earlier life
Did you have all the same strife

Did you stand ignorant of the truth
Were you boastful of your own pride
Proud of your own prejudice

Do you see what lay at your feet
Only to kick it aside with no regard
Are you afraid of whom you might meet
Only to remember them in regret

Stumble along the broken path
Leading to the soul within  
Find in you a will to live
And see the love not to give

Face the fear that brought you here
Too remember who you were
Live the life you've yet to live
Too forget the strife you had to give

Truth is there for you to find
Only to lay down your pride divine
Your prejudice consumes every waking our
For the wasted lives you so devour

Compared to the you've yet to see
What simply can not be
The bed you've lain
The seed you reap Now you see this is me
Dec 2010 · 665
Suffer Me No More
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
In distant time the deed was done
The calm before the searing storm
The pain within consumes the whole
A piece that cant repent

Inside of me a demon fierce
Of darkest evil night
A struggle to make amends
If only for whats right

A life so bent so wrapped around
A single dark event
A life so torn in circumspect
By whom simply cant be bound

Mine life so frail as to exhale
And blow it all away
Mine soul so tainted as to have fainted
And crashed upon craggy ocean spray

Power consumed helplessness fueled
A wanting deep within
To have what  is not mine
And take whats is so freely there

As hamster is in spinning wheel
I chase what cant be caught
Cant see light at end of tunnel
Yet its always at my heel

Life so burdened within these walls
Cant escape these tortured halls
So ingrained is my own pain
Every attempt at life made in vain

Held captive in the hand of an unseen foe
Squeezed tight by the bonds that bring my demise
Forgive the foe within the mind
Release the bond that doth bind
Dec 2010 · 504
Deaths Misgivings
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
et go the bird that doth not fly
Release the prisoner whom do no harm
Let run the horse hast he no legs

Does not the heart beating within thine own chest
Scream to be released from its cage of bone
Does not the soul held within the walls of flesh and blood
Plead to be set free free of its fleshly grave

Can not you hear the crimson tide of blood and bile
Gurgling in your ears to flow upon this baron land
Does not the pulsating between your fleshy lobes
Beg to explode gray matter into space so cold

Use your head your really dead this is all an illusion
Think about it this cant be that which really isn't there
Nothing for your eyes to see so is it dark in there
Nothing for your ears to hear so have you gone def

Do you really feel the pain burning deep within
Is your insanity driving the living mad from your rantings
Are you paranoid theyll dig up your pallid bones
Will there mournful cries drive you from your grave
To haunt the men and children of your disdain

Will the love they had become anew in your rotting heart
Will the freedom they held become your captor
Relentless as it may be but your pain is for eternity
Youll never harm another as you have done before

Youll stand at the gates of hell and time anguishing in misery
Youll beg of fleshly fiends to do your biddings no more
All the while you remember the lifes you stole
From those you were to week and embarrassed to ****

Believe in that which cant be seen
Remember that which was told of you
Your only mortal but time and death
Will take their toll and come calling at hearts door

Death has come with its misgiving
Blood has boiled in your veins
Hear the whisper of the living
As the screaming of the dead
See the blood that leaves its stains
As the making of your graveyard bed.
Dec 2010 · 536
Mine Fear Mine Death
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Disarray and disaster, distrust and discord
The tools we use to shoe how easily confused
Fragile and frightened we truly are

   Flounder through life hoping beyond hope
Stumble into a friend to safely guide us through
Remembering all the while how afraid we are

  For what we dont understand and what we can not see
We flinch and flail hoping to keep the demons at bay
Hoping they wont see us cringing in the corner of your shattered mind

  Frightened and frail I stumble into reality
Bleeding bruised and broken I search for you
Regretfully I ask of thee to take me in this insipid little child

  Please you must understand how fragile is mine soul
Plead with thee I must do help me return from this tortured place
I'm in here some ware hiding find me help me back upon my feet

  I trust you know ware I am you will surely find me there
You can help me to understand yours and mine fears
I'll be waiting for you there just under the fringes of reality I hide

  Misdeeds and misgivings anthers life held limp in your hands
Time wasted worrying about what you cant control or understand
You want what others cant have and give nothing for what you cant get

  My fear holds you captive a bond unbreakable by love or trust
Your will to survive in an imagined world plagued by guilt and loathing
Became your weakness became your pain your enemy my friend and foe

  This is ware it all will end ware I am and you begin
This is the place ware we feel love the same as ware we feel hate
That blurry line between real and imagined the gray between your lobes.
Dec 2010 · 544
Mine Hearts Door
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Come to me mine blossom divine
Come to me and put your hand in mine

Let our hearts melt into the blue
Let me show love of the truest hue

Your my hearts desire my only bliss
You set me free and gave me this kiss

Your life in my hand your love in my heart
Let us be together never falling apart

Lay down beside you and hold you forever
Lay down beside me and keep me together

Mine love will not diminish nor fade away
My heart only grows fonder each and every day

My love and my bliss only to you I give
Poring through hearts open door as a sieve

I'll take no other to be my own
For what I did will never happen again.
Another from 06
Dec 2010 · 1.7k
Vail Of Hidden Closet Doors
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Why do we fight and argue
Over things that dont make since

Why do we scream and shout
Over things we cant work out

Why do we have this incessant need to banter and bicker
About every little meaningless insecurity

We scrutinies everyone's lives but our own
Plaster their lies on every visible space
And the skeletons are beating down your vale
Of  hidden closet doors

Offer up your educated opinion in your best efforts of advise
For dealing with their misdeeds
And at every turn the skeletons are beating down
Your vale of  hidden closet doors

They scrutinies your every move
Cold and calculated to take away your dignity
Until all you have left are the demons they made
And the skeletons are beating down your vale of  hidden closet doors

They spit it back in your face
And expect you not to move
Only to leave you standing there
Feeling disgraced and bruised

They created havoc in your life
To be left wandering with no tears to cry
You bottled up every ounce of pain
Wondering the tole your broken laughter would gain

Made many a useless plea
Fall upon many a deaf ear
Let escape many hollow sighs
Wondering if they heard your placid crys

Broke the shattered mirror
For disgust of  pieces of battered dreams
Wondering if the skeleton key can be re-cut
Standing behind your vale of hidden closet doors.
Again 06
Dec 2010 · 518
Society Cares ?
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Im not sure I know you
Im not sure you know me
Im not sure were on the same side
Im not sure we care
Im not looking to make friends
And I dont want to be yours
So lets get one thing straight
We dont have to pretend
We dont have to continue our vitriolic diatribe
And I dont care if you like me or not
Cause I dont like you
You act like you dont know me
When you see me at the store
So why do you pretend to
When you see me on the street
Or when we meet in the less than public eye
I looked to my past to see my mistakes
I have made many but Im not pretending I didnt
I looked to your past to see the pain you create
Rampant it runs in the naked streets of society
I blame no one they wer my wrongs to make
You pave freeways with your guilt and shame
Ill try to forgive your wrongs a task I loath to do
You walked by me and turned your face shutting your eyes
I hid my pained expression from your loathsome lies
Ware do you think we went wrong
When we signed the contract on our lives
In our frightful state there is no room for enemies
However must we play best friends
I didnt wish to shake your hand
When you jutted out your grungy palm
We make friends on our own terms
So Ill thank you to take a bath
For our enemies multiply exponentially over night
You try we try so much in vain to be noticed and we forget ware we are
So now we cant see past our hate or our foolish pride
We continue the blood letting in back alleys
I dont care if we cant clear our brains long enough
I dont want to see the stupidity that put us hear
I already know were all dying Cause somehow we quit fighting
We dont love one another and look ware it got us
We fight wars for causes we know nothing of
So why are we being stewards for the world
When we have none for ours.
Another from 06
Dec 2010 · 476
From Forever Fragile
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Im ******* Im hurt
My senses are burnt
Im numb from waist down
My head is spinning

You hurt my feelings
When you screamed
Cause it seemed
That you screamed
For me working

Why do I bleed
When you cry to me
I make me dream
That your not hurting

Ive been thinking lately my rose
That I love you

Twisted inside me
My insides are wrenching
Freedom at stake
If I am fake

Must be real with
Those that I wish
If I am to
Have what I miss

So glad for you
Without Im through
Thank you my rose
For being with me

Severed my self
From you for me
Why cant I see
That you need me

My thoughts are reeling
I dont want you
To think I hate you
Please dont hate me

I wish I could
Tell you what I feel
When you hold me
Softly while I sleep

To you deeply
My love I spread
Softly whisper
Your name from my lips

Hold me in your arms
Cover me from my harms
Take me inside you
To give you what I choose

You get from my soul
I give with pleasure
To your heart forever
To love you for always

With always from forever
I swear myself all pieces
Unto you to do with as you choose
Take care of me for I am fragile
And easily broken.
Also wrote this back in 06
Dec 2010 · 852
This Is Love
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Love is the blond on the corner of the street
Love is the brunette you never thought youd meet
Love is the Red head living down the rode
Love is her green eyes that make you explode
Love is the radiant blue in her eyes that makes you melt
That  hazel color that mystifies is love

That feeling when your weary head raises from bed in the pit of an already churning stomach is love

A momentary loss of conciseness when she steels your breath away is love

Love is the reason you get up in the morning because you feel rite
Love is that little blind fool in the back of your mind that has you doing something you wouldnt otherwise do
Love is the whisper on the rain
Love is the shadow of the wind Love is the light in the sail that keeps you aloft, love is the sail
Love is the time you spent thinking about what you would do when yo got out
Love is the reason you were in there in first place
The reason the insane become again sane is love
The reason you go to the grocer at three in the morning and went back because you got the wrong flavor ice-cream is love

If you reading this right now and laughing and shaking your head because you understand this thats love
Not for me the paltry author of this simple poem or for the words contained herein but for the fact that youve been thinking about love and the one you love since you started reading this, thats love

Love conkers all things if you give it a chance to
Love crosses all boundaries if yo let it
Yet for all of this love is easily bound if you dont nurture it, if you dont feed it, if you dont take care of it, if you dont let it grow
If you dont do any of these things love dies like all things
Wrote this one back in 06
Dec 2010 · 644
Scitso Me
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Face the tide, face the time, face the demons in your mind
Face the truth, face the lie, face the time you had to hide
Hide away, not from me, hide away, not even from yourself
Hide away from the fact, the fact they drove you mad

Whos the they you ask, I dont know you replied
Whos the demon you ask, I dont know you reply
shhh who said that, not me, whos me, not you, you heard again
Whos voice was that, mine you said, but that wasnt me, who said that

I said that, whos I, I dont know who I am, I only know me
Whos me, again, I dont know, I only know who I am
Whos I then, me told you he doesnt know, but you do
You who, me, me who,me you, no I, I who, I me, no you me

Stop it, stop what, that, that  what, what you just did
What I do, that, that what, **** it your doin it again
It what, that, that what, this, this what, talkin to me, me who
Me, whos me, Me here in front of you, OH! you, Yes! Me

Know who I am now, No I dont, who are you
I am me, whos me, the person writing this
Oh, then if you're you, then who am I, You're me, no Im not
Yes you're me, you're just confused, No Im not, I know me

Do you, Yes I do, then prove it, who am I
You're you, then who is you, you is me, then who is me
Me is who I am, huh, I said me is who I am,
Whos me again, You, you who, me, me who, I, I am me and you

Oh! Now I get it, Oh wait, nope, I lost it, who am I again?
Dec 2010 · 812
Coffer of Tears
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Oh how I long for you
Everyday my eyes feast not upon you
Brings yet one more tear to my coffers
Everyday my ears hear not your sweet voice
Brings yet one more crack to my breaking heart
Everyday I think of you I grow more lonely

Everyday I wish to be graced by your presence
Everyday I struggle to make do by your absence
Everyday I want only to feel your gentle embrace
Everyday I struggle to make do by your remembered face

Each day that we are not together
Is one more day you hear not I love you
Each and every day without you
Is one more day you feel not my touch

Each day that passes into the next
Is one more I pray I see you
Each day I dont catch a glimpse of you
Is one more day that I cry

You are the reason I rise
You are the reason I dream
You are to me what leaves are to a tree
You are the only picture I see when I close my eyes
You are the reason I breath and the reason I cant

Each day your not here to hold
Is one more breath in the cold
Every day your not here to see
Is one more day I can not be

You are my compliment
You are my anchor holding me firm
You are my roots lest a strong wind try an ******* away
You are not the target
You are not the arrow
You are the strength to pull the string
You are the speed with which the arrow pierces the air
You are the force that strikes the target
You are what drives me to continue
Each day I struggle to change
You are the reason I struggle at all

Everyday I long to be in your presence
And my eyes see only a picture
Everyday I long to touch your face
And my fingers caress only air
As the images of you are created in my mind
As the ink flows from this pen to describe you
My heart is breaking for you're not here with me
Holding me and whispering I love you in my ear.
I wrote this back in 05 so dont read nothin into it
Dec 2010 · 479
Boy Turned Man
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
POOR MY HEART OUT
LET MY SOLE SPILL TO THE GROUND
LET ME BE FOUND
LET THIS MAN COME TO LIFE
LET THIS BOY GO
THIS BOY WHO STOOD BEFORE YOU
ASKED ONLY THAT YOU LOVE HIM
THIS BOY YOU TURNED AWAY
IS THE MAN STANDING HERE TODAY
THE AGGRAVATION IN HIS VOICE
BUILT UP FROM YEARS WITHOUT A CHOICE
NOW THE MAN YOU SEE IS SO DESPERATELY
TRYING TO BE HEARD EVEN IF ONE WORD
ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE KNEW NO LOVE
ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE WASNT BORN RIDING ON A SILVER SPOON
BUT WITH WHAT HE KNOWS NOW
HE WILL FIND A WAY SOMEHOW
TO FILL THE VOID IN HIS CHEST AND DO WHAT HE DOES BEST
TRIED THE CHURCH, HYPOCRITES
TRIED THE THE DRUGS, LOST HIS SENSE
TRIED THE FAME, JUST A GAME
NOW HES BLAZING HIS OWN **** PATH AND THEY AINT NO SHAME IN THAT
SO UNTIL YOU CAN EXCEPT THIS BOY TURNED MAN, LEAVE HIM BE, LET HIM STAND.
Dec 2010 · 1.6k
House That Lies Built
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Facing the truth doesnt make my life better.
Not facing it will certainly make it worse.
Move over let me take the wheel.
Lets see where I go from here.

Lying, Face down in a puddle of someone elses spew
Blood stained clothes at my feet.
At the bottom of the barrel
Dung heap never looked so good.

(Chorus) PULL THE HAMMER BACK, LET THE BULLETS FLY
MY LIFES WORTH TAKING
BLOOD SPATTERED WALLS AND SO MY HATRED FALLS
YOUR LIFES WORTH FAKING
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT

Foundation built of blood and block, sweat and tears, love and lies
The roof is nothing more than fears
When it all crumbles to the ground
All my skeletons will be found
No matter how loud I scream and shout a
All my secrets will come out
No matter what I do I cant hide the truth
Inside my pain I cry in vain
Inside my head Im already dead

PULL THE HAMMER BACK, LET THE BULLETS FLY
MY LIFES WORTH TAKING
BLOOD SPATTERED WALLS AND SO MY HATRED FALLS
YOUR LIFES WORTH FAKING
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT

Face the truth, not enough vermouth
To drown in my sorrow
Nothing but God can stop tomorrow
****** eyes cloud misery, nothing more left of me
The man I was is here no more, he went through that shattered door
If your quick, you might find him, but I doubt it, Im right behind him
Nothing left but the shell of a man faking, cause inside this hatred he is breaking.

PULL THE HAMMER BACK, LET THE BULLETS FLY
MY LIFES WORTH TAKING
BLOOD SPATTERED WALLS AND SO MY HATRED FALLS
YOUR LIFES WORTH FAKING
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT

PULL THE HAMMER BACK, LET THE BULLETS FLY
MY LIFES WORTH TAKING
BLOOD SPATTERED WALLS AND SO MY HATRED FALLS
YOUR LIFES WORTH FAKING
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT
THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT LIES BUILT
Ok, so this one is actually the lyrics to a song I wrote. I dont have any music written for it (sadly I cant write music) but I do kinda have a rhythm in my head and I bit of a tune or melody I guess you could say.
Dec 2010 · 535
Heart At the Door
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
I want my life back
I want my wife back
Want everything back that I lost
Im willing to pay the ultimate cost
Put my back against the wall and then I lost it all
Wake most mornings sad I gotta face another day
Wake most nights trying to keep the tears away
I have to face the truth no matter what its become
You try and make me wait
You try to say the way its all going to go
That I wont stay but I cant I just cant do this anymore
Its taring me apart, my heart laying on the floor
Im standing at the door waiting to come into my own
My sole laid bare for all to see
But still she cant see me
From all that she read
From all that Ive said
I may as well be dead
Standing rite in front of her yet she still doesnt know me
I cant do this anymore
My heart lying at the door
Its all been a lie and its to hard to try
I cant fix it now even if I cry
Standing out in the cold with nobody to hold
Im all alone with my fears
I cant change the past nine years
I dont want to leave
I have to have some reprieve
From all the pain Ive caused
And now that I see just what your love means to me
I feel that have to run
Now that all here is done.
I wrote this back in 05 so no one go readin nothin  into it that aint there, you know who you are.
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
All the years Ive invested in our relationship
Now its just a sinking ship.
Everything Ive given, tried as hard as I know how.
All weve done and we still cant work it out.
She calls on the phone, Hear the steady drone.
Havent heard from her in weeks.
Where are you?
Are you sleeping with some other woman?
I told her if she acused me again then were done.
I cant do this anymore, its not fair to eather of us.
Its not fair to her.
All I gotta do is get a job and a place,
then everything will be back to normal.
But Ive had the job, the place to live, Ive given all I know to give.
There must be something more I can do, I cant hit the floor, I cant loose you.
I am, I have, its to late.
My mistake of the past of come to haunt me here, this is all a lie, I cant hold on, its all gone.
Cant loose you, cant loose me. If I loose me dont know what I will become in here.
Let me show you whats in here.
Let you know my fear, let you see my pain.
Though I tried in vain, tears fall loike rain.
Cant stop this love in my heart for this dove for whom I fall apart.
Though the years Ive come to know her fears.
Through the time Ive come to do the crime.
No matter what I say its the same everyday.
No matter what I do its all the same to you.
Through hers fears Ive come to taste her salty tears.
Through my life Ive come to cause her strife.
No matter what I know I cant ever go.
No matter what her gain I still cause her pain.
Even though I cant hide I still have to face my pride.
Even though I cant run still gotta stick to my gun.
I said the vow now I gotta figure how to make it work feel like such a ****.
Who am I trying to fool, who am I trying to school.
Cant tell me a **** thing Im allways rite.
My whole life is just a lie and Im allways wrong.
I know that now yet somehow Ive got to rite the wrongs Ive caused to those I love.
Knowing Im wrong doesnt make what Ive done rite and it dont make it none the easier for her.
I wrote this back in 2005 so dont no one go reading into it what aint there. You all know who you are...
Dec 2010 · 739
A Little Twisted Shakespear
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
If you ***** me I bleed.
So too shall you.
   If you pinch me I flinch.
So too shall you.
   If your arrow pierces mine heart
I will die.
Yet not before I rip yours
still bleeding from your chest.
   If you **** me your torment
will be measured by your sanity,
after you wake from the nightmare
you will have created for yourself
   If somehow I survive your onslaught
My vengeance will not be swift nor exact
Only slow to build and erratic at best.
   For by the time I am finished
exacting my revenge
your tormented sole will beg
to be released from my merciless grasp.
   There is no corner of the earth
that will be sufficient enough for you to hide.
If by chance age catches up to you,
your children shall reap your just reward
their pain will be your agony.
   Your anguish while brooding over past
will be misery while worrying of the future.
For you nor they know what lay in hold
for them to see when you cease to be.
I wrote this  back in 05 along with a few others Im adding now...
Dec 2010 · 537
Run To Stay
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
Start a new, dreams in dew, I run to you.
Whisp away, fields for hay, I run to stay.

   Stay away, there you find, bitter emotions fray.
Step away a piece, look long back, may wonders never ciece.

   Things can change, rarely do and still I run to you.
Still I stay, never stray, never did I lay another down.

   Forgive forget but I can not, my human side is cuaght.
Fight I still, battles raged, for controle inside myself.
  
   Everything to the surface, bubbles from the deep.
Memories, still not faded, where painfull things I keep.

   So this new thing, the wound it bleeds,
but I did it to myself. Now for the heeling, to start it all again.

   To start it fresh, to start it new, to write what has yet to be lived.
In the end I do what I do and I continue to Love you. As much now, even more than then, than I ever have, your my best friend. I cant get you from my head, cause of all the things youve said. I think about the me in you and remember that you love me too. I think about the you in me and remember that I love who I see. I remember how I said hello. Where we'd go, we didnt know. We didnt care. I think about you every day, your steeling a piece of my heart away.

Give it back or keep it from me, my stolen piece of heart. Bleeding out all the love follow it to me, for your own eyes to see. All the love it followed you, rite to wear you keep me too. Another one for you to savor, so you dont forget the love is from the pieces of my heart.
I gave it away and there youll stay till my dying breath.
Dont forget who gave it to you that last piece that you have. Im here for you if your ready. I promise, safe and steady...
Dec 2010 · 685
Swiming Through Bliss
Derick Van Dusen Dec 2010
At home in the foam
the oceans I roam
I move from place to place
with the water I displace
as I swim threough the sea
the water and salt evaporate me.

   Soothing the sounds that reach my ear
the seagulls and otters chattering away I hear.
Looking up at the spray catching my eye,
the sun, the sounds, the sights, I started to cry.
Beauty abounding everywhere that I look
sea sarounding me I savor the sareality in each little nook.

   Outstreching your hand, you reach for a cloud,
the shadow it casts an ominous shroud.
Watching in wonder and aw, the clouds stack high.
Amazed as the waves begin to pick up for a storm draws nigh.
Crashing about, the waves, and the wind, and the lightning crack.
Rain pounding before you, thrusting you to and fro, slapping your back.

   The motion continues to calm.
The sounds simply sooth all the noise away.
The light laguishing lovingly on lucious glowing skin.
She swims slowly beneeth me a giant blue whale slumbering past.

   Back to the ocean, at home in the foam of the sea.
the water and salt evaporate me.
Swiming through bliss not a care in the world.
Melting away as the wonders of the ocean call you to her, call you home.
To the water, and salt, and the sea, and the foam.
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