At home in the foam
the oceans I roam
I move from place to place
with the water I displace
as I swim threough the sea
the water and salt evaporate me.

   Soothing the sounds that reach my ear
the seagulls and otters chattering away I hear.
Looking up at the spray catching my eye,
the sun, the sounds, the sights, I started to cry.
Beauty abounding everywhere that I look
sea sarounding me I savor the sareality in each little nook.

   Outstreching your hand, you reach for a cloud,
the shadow it casts an ominous shroud.
Watching in wonder and aw, the clouds stack high.
Amazed as the waves begin to pick up for a storm draws nigh.
Crashing about, the waves, and the wind, and the lightning crack.
Rain pounding before you, thrusting you to and fro, slapping your back.

   The motion continues to calm.
The sounds simply sooth all the noise away.
The light laguishing lovingly on lucious glowing skin.
She swims slowly beneeth me a giant blue whale slumbering past.

   Back to the ocean, at home in the foam of the sea.
the water and salt evaporate me.
Swiming through bliss not a care in the world.
Melting away as the wonders of the ocean call you to her, call you home.
To the water, and salt, and the sea, and the foam.

Through wooded glen I walk
looking up at the rain entranced by it.
I'd drown myself in the beauty of it as it falls
if not for the role that death would play
The goosebump feel of its icy fingers gripping
me as it falls off of naked flesh.

Stepped gleefully across a stream
to peer into the crystal waters and watch swirls
of sunlight bounce off of the surface.
The fog rolled past  
tightened its already frigid hold on the earth below it.
I run my fingers through her soil  
caress her oceans, I am as much a part of her
as she is of me.

Ran into the wind feeling it hold me
and try to push me back, lapping all around
but hear not a sound.
She blew furiously through the wood
bending every bough, nearly snapping the saplings in two.
I feel it's warm and gentle embrace
as its fury is unleashed and it's power
is laid to bare on the intrepid soulls
she winds in and out of.

Watched as snow covered mountaintops
were engulfed by the oncoming storm clouds
that bring with them the life
giving rain I drown myself in.
Life renewed to be viewed
yet again by another eye who's wonder
it will capture who's imagination it will light.
Fuel for the fire that burns to create
to live and to enjoy
all that can be enjoyed.

I will move forward
I will move on, I will not be beat down
I will not be broken or bruised.
I will not stop, I will trudge on no matter what
lay ahead around the shadowed corner.
I will venture forth the world to gain,
nothing to slow me down.
I am not the victim nor will
I play the antagonist.
I am my own hero, I will save me from
myself and I will not play the protagonist.
I play only the part I wish never the part
Im given and only the part
I want to play at that time.

I am my own person and no one can or
will ever change the me I wnat to be for me.
I can take on the world or watch it all go by.
You see thats my choice
not yours to make for me,
for fear of the unknown or
for fear of what cant be seen.
I refuse to live in the fear that binds you because
I refuse to be bound by fear or controlled
by what consumes you, your hate your only friend.
I am not your enemy, I dont want to fight you
and would rather be left alone .
I am not here to take over
or to usurp your power of position
or your stature among warriors.
I am no threat to you but please
do not misunderstand me, I will not bow down.
I will not kiss your feet
I will not kneel at your the sound of your coming.
I will not throw myself at your feet
for you to gain power over me.
You control me no more than you control your goldfish,
Im not your slave not your servant.
I am my own man,
My own being, My own person,
I am not afraid of  you nor should you be afraid of me.
I will help you if I can
but expect nothing in return.
I help mearly for the enjoyment of helping.
I am who I am because of all of the singular events in my life
both as a child and as
I continue to age that have shaped me.
I am who I am because of the choices
Ive made that have put me where I am now.
Like me or Hate me I am Me.
I never asked you your opinion so
I will thank you to keep it to yourself.
I never gave you my opinion but
if youd like I can I can even promise you wont like it.
I never said I liked you
or wanted to be your pal
so get out of my face I beg of you.
I never said I hated you or that you where my enemy
so please if you like say hello
but I dont promise to say hello back.
I never said I wanted to make your company
but if you must know
my name is whoever I chose to be at that time.

No really I enjoy your company,
come on over any time just
dont expect me to be your best friend
or to be the most welcoming host.
I am who I am because I like me the way I am,
If you dont like me that way then
I dont need you as a friend.

Crashing before me, hysteria grows, gripping me tightly, deep in its throes.
Ripping and gnashing, its teeth shining white, killing my sanity, swift with one bight.
Splitting apart, my seams at each stitch, something misfired, must be a glitch.
Faster, still growing, this hysteria prides itself for knowing the  insanity it guides.

Was I told this to comfort, to quiet or placate or pacify me, was I told this to soften, to butter me up, or just shut me out?
Why do I feel like a cats toy, your amusement when boredom sets in?
Why did you say those things you said, those  things I have so long wanted to hear since discovering this new side of myself.
Since being able to show this side of myself. Since being able to be open and honest with myself. And isnt that what everyone tells everyone, whenever someone is dealing with what I am going through, what we are going through? Dont they always say "you have to be honest with yourself"?
Well this is me being honest with me. I aint tryin to hide how I feel inside, about what I read and this aint in my head, cause I saw what I saw in your eyes what was in your head when I read what you said. You said to me, my one and only you want me to be, my slave, your Master you want for me.
Why did you, would you, how could you say that if you didnt mean it?
Why did I, would I, how could I feel that if I didnt mean it?
Because felt it profound, the words all around, in my head the things that you said, that reaction to the  words that I read. It took my breath away, faint felt I, to be sure.
And now Im chewed up and spit out. I get to have a new reaction to what my eyes were given to glean. This aint putting my hysteria at bay, I feel this, this blur, a smudge of yesterday.

Sanity slipping quickly away, for fear of loosing, I can not stay.
Hear I have, things I never wanted to know.
Now Im thinking clear. I guess I should just go.
Didnt think it mattered, this hysteria scattered . I just wish I knew, How the **** do I feel according to you.
This is not normal, these hysterics I sheath, holding so tightly I can not breath.
Twisting and churning, deep down inside, nor running away from the feelings I hide.
I so enjoy being toyed with, its so fun for you. These things running around these things that I see.
I got everything told me completely twisted up, cause it didnt mean **** thing you silly pup.
I just let out the thing that I hid and wish I didnt feel what I did.
Now I guess Im supposed to pretend, I felt nothing from what was said in the end.

She calls everybody "love" so how is it special when She says it to me?
Ive never really noticed till now thats just her way I guess.

   Now Im torn again though not as bad as the first game of slight of heart!
Ive got to come to terms with the way I feel or let it drag me down this time for real.

   She captivates me completely and I seem not to hold her gaze and still I manage to torture myself into the dieing days.

  I beg her touch to free me from this My prison cell, Her face all that I see. I beg her touch to my heart relent to feel her skin again.

   She keeps me holding open the vail that hides away the things I like not to share. Share them all with her Ive done and Most Ive told no one else.

   I let myself float away so I can feel hows shes made me feel before and all I see Is her standing there looking up at me.

   She walk beside me hand in hand yet her hand is not the one I hold.
Attached it may be but its not givin freely, perhaps one day it will be so that I might be that close.

   Ill let myself out, I dont wish to overstay my welcome here so I will see myself to the door. Please dont, however, think of me as gone, Ill come back round from time to time just to see Whats new in town and see if and where you can be found...

And I sing the song carried on the breeze...before I fall to my knees and exclaim, that I dont feel the same, after the rain...it invigorates me to breath that air, to fill my lungs with the purity of the sea and the fury of the wind...

  And I Fall to my Knees and Cry Out, let my spirit sore across the plains so that I might see with eyes of eagles. Let my heart be filled to the capacity of over flowing, so that I might love like no other before me. Let my mind be filled with the knowledge of my generation and those before me, so that I might share it with the world, to learn a better understanding of that world.

  And I Stand arms Open Wide to receive the Love Ive felt all this time from every prayer that has come my way. I cast my eyes to the heavens and pray they not be burned out from the purity that it brings.
So let me share with you, this invigoration anew that you might feel inside of you, this something in me new.

  And I Feel on My Skin the Breeze blowing by and the life that it brings to the skin it stings. I feel the electricity flowing deep within me to be let out by her who can handle me, that fury deep inside from which I can not hide. So let me see in you, what change you bring to me, so together we share a love for all to see.

  And I Have found that strength abound to pick me up from ***** ground, brush me off and onward walk to mountain top, to mountain top. A giant among the people, surveying all before my feet with a fervor few can meat. I say to you from where I stand, the world is rather grand. So take your place among the thorns and fall in to the normalcy, as for me I will continue to find what make her unique among the roses.

She slipped away, right through my fingers
I watched her and was powerless to stop it.

  She poured through my hands as if water to the sands
I couldnt retrieve a single grain  from where she left her vibrant stain

   She was, or so I thought, a way out of this dismal place
Now here I sit longing to run my fingers lovingly down her face

   She sits there now, far away, across the room deepening my gloom
I reach for her from afar to feel her arms save me from terrible doom

   I watched her slip away and vainly wished her stay, in fact I even begged.
Nothing, not a grin or glance or stair or inclining of a care.

   I sit here more confused and feeling somewhat used, knowing that I cant have whats being sought by the bleeding ***** on the floor under the boards creaking and groaning. Its all I hear, the constant fear, that she will leave. My heart on sleeve is waring out its welcome kept so I dont pout.

   I watched her slip away, the sand simply moved to swiftly for me to keep pace. I could not see past the feeling in me to simply watch her walk away and always in my heart stay. So I reach for her hand In hopes that she will take my heart instead, but I must have hit my head, cause Im fuzzy inside but heavy and insecure.

   I want her for my own but her I can not have for her affections are not just to me but to another whom I see as a brother to the likes of me. Now I find myself in the same boat I was in as a knee high to a grasshopper, loosing what I want too a longer time from start and Im trying not to fall apart.