Once, you said you liked me
Once, you said you loved me
Once, I chose to believe it
But now, it's been cast under the duvet
of a bed I no longer sleep on
in a room, I no longer belong

Once, I said I liked you
Once, I said I loved you
Once, I actually meant it
But now, it's simply a remembrance
Of what I used to think was real
But you lied, and that sealed the deal

You're just like the waves
pulling me in
You're like the ocean
I'm sinking in

Completely drowned by
the thoughts of you
I've been drugged
and my poison is you

I was drawn
like a moth to a flame
I can only hope
it isn't all a game

Even though
I try to swim away
Your arms wrap around me
and pull me back again

You're just like home
down to the trinkets
You're all I know
and I'm drowning again

"Embrace it," you said.
"While you love someone else?"
I'm aware of the risks
but my heart has been smothered
by all of this

I let my heart out
I'm drowning again
But this is the type of death
I'd love to have had

Just know if I lose you,
that's the end of me
I won't stay if I lose you
I'll disappear
I'll go away

"Be the change you want to see in the world"
Unfortunately, the only change I can offer
is to stop existing

"You accept the love you think you deserve"
I don't think I deserve any love
not like I receive any anyway

"There's so much more to live for though"
So much more things I don't deserve to see
I'm sorry

But I'm done
This is enough for me

The Queen was a humble woman
She was also a stubborn woman
Wanting to work in the fields
and her King could care less

The Queen sat at her simple table
her King refused to bear
the cost of her living
and the livelihood of her children

The Queen slept alone
in a stone cold bed
She cried when things got hard
and she prayed diligently for the best

The Queen was loved
Her children stayed by her side
and helped where they could

But sometimes children are selfish
sometimes children are stubborn too
Sometimes they loved her too little
and that made her blue

The Queen was a poor woman
who loved the wrong man
Cast aside and forgotten
She lived in poverty and strife

Like the stars up in the velvet sky
Like the moon shining before the sun sets for the night
Always wishing always searching
For a glimpse of peace

Like the lighted dots on a board
Like the spotlight in the dark
Always wanting always working
For a chance at recognition

Like the yellow five-pointed shape
Like that sideways smile
Always dreaming always hoping
For you to pay attention once in awhile

Like the number 5 after 9
Like the grin on her face
Always looking always trying
For you not to look at her like she was a disappointment

Like the stars in the velvet sky
Like the moon that lights up the night
Always crying always praying
For her life to end

Every night
Every night she cries
Going unnoticed, an invisible child
lackluster love
ribbons and scars

It was just a lot of love
In one short day
and when that day went by
you went away

Maybe if I had known
of your temporary state
I would've been more prepared
when you left before I came

It was easier said and done
the fixing of a soul
that is constantly moving
deeper into the unknown

Thoughts so deeply rooted
Words so ingrained
in the mind of a girl
barely even sane

It was easier said than done
the attention and time she would need
to mend the gears in her heart
just so she could be free

No one really sees
the damage the do
until her eyes roll back
and her lips turn blue

It is what they say
People only ever listen
the moment you're dead

Who would ever
to look over the words
of a dead girl?

The fear of being a bigot
overpowers
everything else

It's easier said than done
to love yourself, to accept yourself
after years of being told
you should do everything but

I hate myself
every little thing
the voice in my head
often reminds me
I should be dead

I hate myself
every tiny detail
my body my face
everything I wish
I could easily replace

I hate myself
every thing I do
I talk too much
and think too much
and wish I could find you

I hate myself
every thought I think
I imagine images
of a happy version
of you and me

I hate myself
every word I say
The words that pour out
the way they are phrased
the words I shouldn't have said

I hate myself
every little thing
I wish someone cared
I wish someone could see
this invisible me

I hate myself
every small wish
I wish to die
I wish to sink
but I never do
bc I'm scared to go through

I hate myself
for being so weak
for not being able to fix
the broken thing that is me

I want to have…
Late nights
Poetry coffee
Stargazing
Love making
Happiness
Life
…with you.

You can steal my heart away
Use your sweet words
Use your sweet smile
being yourself is enough
to make me want to live life

All I want
is to find someone
like you

Euphemisms are a wonderful thing
you can't deny the joy
such pretty lies bring

"Can I just let go?"
Is me saying
I'd very much like to die

But to you
it may mean
I need to cry

White veils
Flowing dresses
First loves
Sweet caresses

Lilting music
Lifting thoughts
When their eyes meet
everything else is lost

Scattered petals
Sparkling eyes
Secret smiles
Whispered lines

"To you I vow
to always love
to always stay

To you I vow
to never leave
there will never be
another for me

To you I vow
to give my whole heart

I've been dreaming a dream
every lonely night before this
To wake up every morning
to you smiling at me

And now that dream has come true
you give me more than everything
and everything is you

I love you"

Cheers for a birth
of an official love
a lifelong commitment
a world void of wishes

Everything she had ever dreamed
was already in this moment
The most perfect moment
Nothing could destroy it

Lovely thoughts
Monsters lost
You showed her a light
that now resides
in her dark brown eyes

Flower bouquets
Arrays of bridesmaids
Shining eyes
Real smiles

A wedding day

Lengthy explanations
for simple altercations
Wordy answers
for the easiest classes

Yet none mean anything
None hold much meaning
Just memorisation
and categorisation

Life goes down the drain
as we watch the rain
Essays about love
fly away like doves

Hush baby,
Don't shed a tear,
never worry,
I'll always be here

Hush sweetie,
Don't you cry,
I'm right here,
Always nearby

Hush my darling,
Show me a smile,
the sweetest of dreams you will have
it'll all be worthwhile

Hush baby,
mommy is here
I'll be by your side
even if it's not near

Hush sweetheart,
I won't leave you alone
know that one day
you'll have your own throne

Hush love,
don't let your dreams go
for you never know
how they could grow

Hush my child,
go to sleep
dream sweet dreams
laugh, giggle, smile
happy you will be

I love you.

♡

Who am I?
Who am I to claim
that heartbreak is the worst pain?
Who am I to feel so broken
when someone else truly is broken?

Who am I to say
the hurt I feel is unbearable
when there are people
losing limbs around the world?

Who am I to feel so sad
when my life isn't as bad
as those you live
in overlooked poverty?

Who am I to say
that this pain in my heart
won't go away
while there are people without hearts?

Who am I to wish for death
when somewhere else
people cry for their loved ones
who have passed?

Who am I to believe
that there is no one worse
than I?

Who am I to say
that I am in fact depressed
when somewhere else
someone is in distress?

Who am I to love
when my love leads
To sadness and headaches
suffering heartaches

Who am I to be worth
the love you want to give?
I am no one significant
I am nothing compared to the world

Who am I to cry
when I have a family
when I have friends

Who am I to try
to **** my soul everyday
While someone breathes their's out
for the last time

I am no one.
I am nothing.
I should not be sad.
I should not be depressed.
I am overexaggerating.
That is why no one listens.
I am insignificant.
No one would want a girl
like me
I am a liar.
I am ( try to be )
happy
I am no one.
I am just a shadow.
My issues don't matter.
For I am just another
girl with a heavy heart
wanting a fresh start.

There are so many ways
To take your own life
Many think blades
would probably suffice

Focused on the dark
they never see the light
that even through shadows
still shine bright

Just like ying and yang
there are two sides
where there is doom
you'll still see light

When in doubt
look up in the sky
even when its dark
you'll see rays of light

Don't lose hope
yes, life can give you a fright
but keep that faith
and you'll see those rays

♥