derelictmemory

derelictmemory Jan 2014

Save me

Handcuffed and driven out
Taken and still breaking down
Help me
Help me
Help me

A burden on your shoulders
A boulder on my own
Save me
Save me
Save me

My head is down
And you wear that crown
Leave me
Leave me
Leave me

Lashes and sinister words
Left hanging and eating dirt
Please
Please
Please

Pressured and boxed up
Leave me in the dark
Awake and alone all night

Save me

I just... I don't want to be left alone with you. Please someone... anyone... save me.

derelictmemory Jan 2014

True Love

You're like a breath of fresh air
After living in a busy city
Your touch is smoother
That the finest silk I've seen

I could memorise every contour
Every scar
Every imperfection
that makes you as real
and wonderful as you are
And that would never be enough

You're like water washing over me
After a day of hard labour
Like watching a beautiful sunset
After a rough day at work
And catching every fallen star
So that they can live again

Something as simple
As the way our eyes meet
And the world melts away
As we lift the tips of our lips

And the moment our hands touch
And intertwine
That was the moment I knew
I wanted for you to always be mine

Like I had an extension of my soul
And it was an overwhelming feeling
To know so well that after so long

This love
This happiness
was truly meant to be

derelictmemory Jan 2014

Forgiving and Forgetting

To this day
I have lived 18 years and approximately
8 months
To this day
I have seen you live a separate life for as long
As 10 years and 8 months

To this day
I still remember that first time
I put on a shoe with wheels
I still remember being too short
To reach the freezer

I still remember crying
Because I was shouted at
I still remember crying
Because you hit me
I still remember crying
Because my neck hit the corner of the mini fridge

To this day
I don't recall an apology
I don't recall any form of redemption
I only remember you leaving
You packed up and left
You left

So forgive me
Had I been misled
But you left

Forgive me
For I had tried to forgive you
But I find you neither want it
Nor do you deserve it

Forgive me
For not being able to forget
For not wanting to know you
For feeling nothing
but a fleeting
sense
of
abandonment
Every time I see you

Forgive me
For being unable to put the past
Into a dark corner behind me
And for holding this against you

I had hoped that perhaps
I would finally forgive you
But it seems like
All you do
Is prove
That
You do not care
For trivial things
Like hurting your child
Emotionally, Mentally
Physically

Forever
And almost
Always

Dated: 22/12/2013

derelictmemory Jan 2014

Questions of Mysteries

The mysteries of life were carved in every endearing kiss, every searing touch and every silent love that you will never have the chance to know.

And try as you may any possible solutions you can think of will fall into the crevices of the earth forever lost and once again, as are you.

All sorts of methods have been tried and tested except for those that force you to allow a more intimate exploration of yourself and others around you.

The questions in your mind would only be answered through a passionate exchange of first glances and a mediocre array of exchanged words.

Living is such a trivial thing when you lack the balance and stand on the edge of silly things while succumbing to the vertigo of all that is unknown.

And you toss and you turn in search for answers of questions even you do not know and you crave to sate the curiousity of your mind only to find yourself facing yet another obstacle.

Madness is not a sickness nor is it a state of mind; Madness is the way everything seems when you start to question the mysteries of life.

Dated: 29/12/2013

derelictmemory Jan 2014

Shorts #4

I just really miss you.
Whoever you are.
I've spent days feeling alone
And nights feeling incomplete
Like gaping craters fill my heart
And waves of uneasiness consume my abdomen
And the unrelenting sadness in my mind
Like my hands are empty
And I haven't got a grip
I just really miss you.
Whoever you are.
Find me soon.

derelictmemory Dec 2013

Suicide Note #5

You'd forget me even before I die
But that's okay
At least at my wake you won't cry
If you ever find out about it
That is

I'll be "That Girl I Once Knew" to you
And that's just fine
Though I wish I had the chance to call you mine
Before I died

You once mirrored my happiness
But that ended soon enough
It's alright that I'm dead
Life's been rough

I hope you live a long happy life
You deserve one
Don't ever think of me again
Not even just once

derelictmemory Dec 2013

Dear Prince Charming

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is the first time I've heard of you!
          I'm so excited for the day you'll find me
          Then we'll live happy-tedly ever after!

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my nine-eth birthday
          I hope I get you next year!
          Then I'll have someone real to play with

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is a scary day
          Daddy isn't smiling at Mommy
          You have to promise
          to always smile at me okay?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today it's been 4 years since I first heard of you
          Mom and Dad aren't speaking anymore
          I need a friend

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today Dad left the house
          I can hear Mom crying in her room
          Don't ever leave me okay?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I found out that my friends hate me
          You won't hate me right?
          They said I'm fat and an orphan

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today the kids at school tripped me
          I suppose accidents happen
          When will you be here?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I wore a long sleeved shirt to school
          No, don't worry, it isn't cold here
          The kids at school hate me

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my 16th birthday
          Will you be here soon?
          I think I need a friend

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today Mom and Dad are finalizing their divorce
          You won't give up on me,
          Will you?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I'm staying with Dad
          He has a special friend over
          Don't forget to come find me

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I've been told that you won't find me
          That's not true right?
          It's very lonely

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I slept through school
          I just couldn't find a reason to get up
          Reach here soon

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is already tomorrow because it's midnight
          If you're close by please let me know
          I need you

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I know you're not real
          But I wish you were
          Who else would love me in this cruel world?

Dear Prince Charming;
          It's 2am and everything is looking darker than before
          I can't stop crying
          Please be real

Dear Prince Charming;
          I don't know who you are
          I don't know if you exist
          But I love you

Dear Prince Charming;
          I couldn't wait for you anymore
          So I hooked up with the guy next door
          I don't like him

Dear Prince Charming;
          I'm still wearing long sleeved shirts
          The mirrors are broken
          I need you

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my 18th birthday
          I'm sorry
          You need to find a new princess to love