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derelictmemory Aug 2013
I remember the haunting tunes
left in your wake
when you left so soon

I remember the soundless cries
from those who loved you
when they found, you died

I remember the empty cars
with words of splendor
but insincere hearts

I remember the selfish fools
who indulged in your love
then tightened your noose

I remember the radiant smiles
you once shared
when you were by the River of Nile

I remember the beating heart
you once had a pleasure
of having until you did part

I remember my love for you
so pure and wonderful
now haunting yet true

I remember when I was alive
but that was only because
I had you by my side

Death was inevitable
but it came too soon

Death was irreversible
something I couldn't undo

I give you my word
that I am far from alright
these things of the Past
haunt me each night
derelictmemory Aug 2013
I hate myself
every little thing
the voice in my head
often reminds me
I should be dead

I hate myself
every tiny detail
my body my face
everything I wish
I could easily replace

I hate myself
every thing I do
I talk too much
and think too much
and wish I could find you

I hate myself
every thought I think
I imagine images
of a happy version
of you and me

I hate myself
every word I say
The words that pour out
the way they are phrased
the words I shouldn't have said

I hate myself
every little thing
I wish someone cared
I wish someone could see
this invisible me

I hate myself
every small wish
I wish to die
I wish to sink
but I never do
bc I'm scared to go through

I hate myself
for being so weak
for not being able to fix
the broken thing that is me
derelictmemory Aug 2013
Drive
Away from the badness
Away from my sadness

Drive
Alone or with someone
Together or with no one

Drive
to the loudest music
to places of magic

Drive
safe and sound
going around and around

Drive
towards an invisible light
not real headlights

Drive
from all of tis
but not the edge of a cliff

Drive
because no one wants me around
tomorrow I won't be found

Drive
because I feel no love
and I don't matter as of

Drive
to a place that I could be
without having you with me

Drive
away from my pain
trying to dance through the rain

Just drive
I'll find my way eventually
then I'll be happy for eternity
derelictmemory Aug 2013
It's my fault
all my fault
If I had seen his tears
If I had heard his words

It's my fault
all my fault
If I had said something sooner
If I had said hello better

It's my fault
all my fault
If I had smiled a brighter smile
If I had laughed a vibrant laugh

It's my fault
all my fault
If I wasn't so sad
If I looked past my own bad

It's my fault
all my fault
If I had listened better
If I had stuck around longer

It's all my fault
It's my fault he's dead
and I did nothing
absolutely nothing to save him
derelictmemory Aug 2013
I want to have…
Late nights
Poetry coffee
Stargazing
Love making
Happiness
Life
…with you.

You can steal my heart away
Use your sweet words
Use your sweet smile
being yourself is enough
to make me want to live life

All I want
is to find someone
like you
derelictmemory Aug 2013
Pretty bows
and promise rings
flowing dresses
and little things

Wooden boxes
with sweet designs
Pinky promises
and white lies

Sweeping poetry
by John Green
Harsh Winters
and Autumn leaves

Indie rock
Coco pops
Window sills
Movie stills

Fluffy bears
Comfy chairs
Sepia tone
Empty zones

Pouring rain
Dancing trains
Coffee stains
and bloodless veins

Little things
Sweet things
that make me happy
the way I used to be
derelictmemory Aug 2013
Euphemisms are a wonderful thing
you can't deny the joy
such pretty lies bring

"Can I just let go?"
Is me saying
I'd very much like to die

But to you
it may mean
I need to cry
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