you look so beautiful
that I want to kiss you
in front of both God
and the general public

static communication line
it’s just
me and you
now

drifting
like so many clouds
wrapping our anger into hailstones
persecuting each other like salem all over again

but the line is silent now
a million miles away
control yells our names
but we do not hear

static and breath and the entity
that is what could have been
had we not become
who we are

the line crackles
to life, control
yelling my name
and yours

and softly
I take your hand
like the water of the aloe
and the entity
is engulfed
in flames

I told the salesman I didn’t want what he was selling
no thank you, I’m alright
in myself
my non-corporeal bits
of existence suit me
just fine
but the salesman
would not listen

he forced his greedy hands into my heart
to steal what I had
to make me one of his puppet-customers
I wished I’d never come
to the market today

I’m not an idiot - I knew of his tricks
shining lures in the crowd
waiting to drag us into his grasp
where he would take us
and wear us down like the tide on the shore
until

we would give in
and he would sell us his product
and buy away our freedom
for a price
far too high

There’s something I like about
being put on my knees
the push and pull of control
like a livewire until suddenly
I can let go
into this safety net of being
here on my knees
for someone who will
take care of me
I like resting my
head in someone’s hands
something fragile
unfolding
in me
through the open swinging door
I like to feel hands
in my hair
that make me feel small
and safe
like nothing
in the world would dare
hurt me
for fear of you

drop me like pouring water from your hands
indelible in the way it bleeds through my skin
euphoria floating in pale clouds round my mind
like waking up and falling back asleep
all at once

I wish you were proud of me

I wish I hadn’t done that thing that I didn’t do when I know I should have done it

but all I remember is how to perform now
how to smile just so now
shaping my words now
holding my breath now

are you proud of me?

please

say you are