Here’s something you seldom hear: don’t always listen to your heart. Because if your heart is like mine, it’s often fickle and confused. Emotions aren’t always true, they may come and go with the wind. Feelings trick us into believing lies. You look in the mirror and feel inadequate. You hear something so many times that you start to believe it’s true. You take a situation and manipulate it till it’s something completely false. But it’s time you start listening to your head: you may not be in control of what you feel, but you are in control of how you handle those feelings. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I know I am beautiful.” Refuse to believe the lies. Remind yourself of your many wonderful qualities. Don’t read too far into things, take them as they are. Worrying doesn’t change tomorrow, it just makes today more troublesome. Decide to be happy. Decide to be okay. Don’t believe everything you feel.

I don’t have a problem with saying too little, you don’t have to carve inspiration into a health room desk or vandalize a bathroom stall to get me to tell him how I feel. I have a problem with acting as if it’s four a.m. all day long and forgetting that you don’t need to know about my every mood swing: my Sunday highs and Tuesdays lows and Thursday nothings. I think my biggest fault is bothering you to tell me all the thoughts that have yet to cross your mind (and maybe wishing they had.) I want you to want to know everything I feel at any given moment: what I thought of this evening’s sunset and how long it took me to fall asleep last night and why track two of my favorite album makes me feel like I’m in a dream. I want you to want me to know why you painted your bedroom walls yellow and how often you floss your teeth and which day of the week you feel happiest on. But most of all, I want to know everything you feel, even before you’ve felt it.

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Life.
Confined to bookmarks
On a
Chrome Browser.
Pathetic
The time I've wasted.
Get up!
Get up!
Get outside.
Without the computerphonezune.
Walk
Run
Read
Breathe
The air, it's sweet out there.
Stuck in a cubicle
Sunshine doesn't exist anymore.
ScanScanScanScan
Blueprint after blueprint.
The fine blue lines creeping into my skull
Show up in my dreams
Ink stains my fingers.
Blue Blue Blue
I want to see the sky again.

omo Fitutu
nureba ya Fito no
mieturan
yume to siriseba
samezaramasi wo

Was I lost in thoughts of love
When I closed my eyes? He
Appeared, and
Had I known it for a dream
I would not have awakened.

most of us aren't in love
we're in lust
or like
or crushing or swooning or "in the honeymoon stage"
we're infatuated, "in love with the idea of love"
...lonely...
it seems silly really
that love, true love, real love
the kind that isn't a feeling in the morning that changes with your mood
is so rare, almost unattainable
like the infinitesimally small atom resting at the very tip of a needle
but we still hope
us non-lovers i mean. we strive
like gatsby for that green light we want to be (in) love(d)

we go about it different ways-- through crushes and infatuations and "s(he)'s hot" 's
but all us non-lovers
we're trying to love

I'm afraid to write about you because
Ink makes me feel everything,
And everything feels so much more real
When my cursive words smudge up against
The side of my hand and stain it blue
As my pen races to keep up with my heart

But it can't be real,
Because I thought I was moving on,
I thought I was growing up,
I thought I knew all of this was
Foolish and starry-eyed

I thought, I thought, I thought
But maybe I need to stop thinking
And just let myself feel;
Feel the butterflies you put in my stomach,
Feel the pure bliss you infuse into bloodstream

And maybe I don't need to know everything,
Like exactly what you're thinking
Or exactly how I feel
Or how all of this is going to turn out

I guess what I'm saying is that
Everything isn't always going to be clear,
I may come up to "two roads in a yellow wood"
And not be absolutely certain which one I'm meant to take,
But I do know that whichever path I choose,
I'd like to be able to scan the trees and smile
Because you're there walking alongside me.

I stare at myself in the mirror
Bloodshot eyes
I laugh, a familiar lump
Rising in my throat

Showers
Always the best time and place to cry
Why?
Maybe it's because the water falls to the ground, together with your tears

I step in
The cold water shocks me and I immediately relate
Cold, just like my empty, bare soul

Sometimes in the shower,
You never know if you've stopped crying
As your face is always damp

Slowly the water heats up and
The tears let loose
Ragged breathing, choked by the steam filling the bathroom

Lonely.
Helpless.
Disappointed.
Am I loved? Not anymore I think
But there is some warmth left
Only from the hot water running down my back

I know what you're thinking
'What an emotional kid", right?
But you can't hide the truth
That you were once finding comfort from your shower

I just wanted to say hi
Or hug you
Maybe even give you a little kiss
Tell you how ravishing you look
Tell you you mean the world to me
The apple of my eye
Even confess my true feelings
Would you reciprocate
Or maybe even snuggle up with you
While it's pouring outside
Make you a cup of hot cocoa
With those tiny marshmallows on top
Or perhaps go on a trip with you
That would be too much
We could visit the world
From Italy to Paris to Hawaii
Oh well, I just wanted to say hi

this feeling of ecstasy,
it blooms inside of me

sparks like fireworks
spread throughout my limbs
my hands quiver
and my heart quickens

i want to run
through endless fields
and shout into the emptiness

because all of the sudden,
i am not invisible