Last night,
before I closed my eyes
to sleep

my heart said, “I can’t wait
to love myself to another day.”

Today,
I woke up and felt my heart
was breaking.

“What happened?” I asked it gently.

“The same thing that always happens,” it replied.
“You teach me how to love myself by destroying myself
and now I’m breaking.”

It hurts that I can't be what everyone wants or what everyone needs
And it hurts that I can't be what I want or what I need
Because I'm not enough and I won't be enough
And I'll never be close to enough
And I'm just so tired

Its not that I fear falling in love. I am in love with many things in this world I love animals, I  love my family, I love thr sunset, I love my friends, I love a lot of things. What I do fear, however is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same way about me. To me, that is how you die while still breathing and you can nevee recovee from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest parr about this is that you're nevee going to know if you are falling for the wrong person. That's what I am afraid of...

I have always been bad
at making decisions
from the small ones t
hat will fade after a breath
peach or plum or neither
while I watch the sunrise
to the ones that will follow me
if only in my heart
do I kiss her do I run
doest it matter so I stand still
until either the wind chooses for me
and I am left to make due
with what I am given
or the oppotunity slips from my fingers
and I am left to make due
with what I had before
I know I cannot live spineless forever
but changing takes deciding to do so
and so I am standing still

This is not a love poem
this is an I love you do you love me like
I love you poem
do you know me like
you think you do poem
this is a would you be disappointed
if you did poem
an I have been feeling the chilling of the air
and I cant tell if it is just the fault of the season
or if you, too, are cooling
whatever heat you had for me
browning and falling and
crumbling between my fingers
like the leaves of these oak trees
in november poem
a what would I need to do to keep us warm poem
and this is also
an I may be completely mistaken poem
an it was seventy degrees today poem
this is a show me I am completely mistaken poem