Last night,
before I closed my eyes
to sleep

my heart said, “I can’t wait
to love myself to another day.”

Today,
I woke up and felt my heart
was breaking.

“What happened?” I asked it gently.

“The same thing that always happens,” it replied.
“You teach me how to love myself by destroying myself
and now I’m breaking.”

It hurts that I can't be what everyone wants or what everyone needs
And it hurts that I can't be what I want or what I need
Because I'm not enough and I won't be enough
And I'll never be close to enough
And I'm just so tired

Its not that I fear falling in love. I am in love with many things in this world I love animals, I  love my family, I love thr sunset, I love my friends, I love a lot of things. What I do fear, however is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same way about me. To me, that is how you die while still breathing and you can nevee recovee from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest parr about this is that you're nevee going to know if you are falling for the wrong person. That's what I am afraid of...

I have always been bad
at making decisions
from the small ones t
hat will fade after a breath
peach or plum or neither
while I watch the sunrise
to the ones that will follow me
if only in my heart
do I kiss her do I run
doest it matter so I stand still
until either the wind chooses for me
and I am left to make due
with what I am given
or the oppotunity slips from my fingers
and I am left to make due
with what I had before
I know I cannot live spineless forever
but changing takes deciding to do so
and so I am standing still

This is not a love poem
this is an I love you do you love me like
I love you poem
do you know me like
you think you do poem
this is a would you be disappointed
if you did poem
an I have been feeling the chilling of the air
and I cant tell if it is just the fault of the season
or if you, too, are cooling
whatever heat you had for me
browning and falling and
crumbling between my fingers
like the leaves of these oak trees
in november poem
a what would I need to do to keep us warm poem
and this is also
an I may be completely mistaken poem
an it was seventy degrees today poem
this is a show me I am completely mistaken poem

Always on your feet, floating through seas of people and over the hustling and bustling streets. I was thought at an early age that you don't need to rush love it will come eventually, they never said it would stay

I've been conditioned that love is something worth waiting for, its something magical that when it happens it will just take your breathe away and leave you speechless. I would have never imagined that it would hit me like a train leaving me breatheless and vanish like smoke rendering me speechless.

A millennials love is something rare, Everything is on the fast lane there's never a pause or a dull moment to think what the next move is. I have never really fallen for a gir I've gone out with before because I never had the time to really get to know them, As fast as I could make the word come out of my mouth they were even faster at getting up and leaving me

I've been sorrounded by vultures waiting to feed on the carcases of my dead realationship. Gazing upong my body looking for the scraps of meat I yet to hold.

Oh what perfect timing, Just as I was falling down you picked me up. You leveled mountain ranges, tamed raging seas and calm stormy skies.

A love you rare, so simple and yet so meaningful, A love of its most simplest and purest form.

That night felt like a dream
you felt like a dream
I was between you and the dock
and you were between me and the stars
and that was all I could see
you and the shimmer of the cosmos
and it was a wonder how little of it all mattered
the night was all beauty and wonder our bodies
pressing the dregs of summer
the sky swam in water with us
when we slipped out our clothes
and into the endless that was
the river swalling us whole
all perfect and pure
no questions just free people floating
and we weren't in love
but there was love breathing in our lungs
and in the waves they licked the shore
and in your mouth on mine
love for the moment
love for the act of being alive

Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made, or by dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused. They will not falter in telling that you are special.

I used to fantasize about the existence of a never ending hole

Huge and full of nothing but darkness, wind and freedom big enough to jumo into and fall forever

For so long I forgot that anything can touch me

So long as I forget that anythig exist outside of the air licking me

And If i felt lost I fantisized company

Someone to do backflips with and laugh

Silent cause the air grabbed the sound and held it

If I didnt I was happy

I was a child and it was all I dreamt about

endless wind and air and dark and abandon

I am no longer a child

I wish freefalls would consume my dreams

Just one more week.

The bitter sweet after taste of you lips was etched onto mine. I am missing the warmth of your presence. The touch of your hand at the small of my back pushing me forward to better myself. Where did those feelings go? They just suddenly disappeared like rain drops hitting the pavement, straight and fast. In just a blink of an eye everything changed. You were just like a gentle breeze on a hot summer day that passed me by so refreshing that it had me wanting for more. That first sip of cold iced tea in middle of the afternoon. That instant moment of happines. But nothing last in this day and age. You just get to simply enjoy it why you still can. Holding onto something gripping onto it so tightly that your hands start to bleed and then asking your self..Was it worth it? Was it worth the blood you spilled? The time you invested ? The memories you stored? Maybe...

True intimacy makes your essence tremble… it is brought on by a connection that surpasses physical attraction. An interlocking of two souls morphed into one being.

Leaving the illuminated town behind.
I wander aimlessly through the endless wasteland.
There are neither tracks nor sign I can follow,
nothing but the spreading night.
Feeding on my unswerving spirit,
I continue my journey into the darkness

I want a love where I don’t have to question if they really love me. Like without a doubt in my mind I’ll already know that the love is there.

I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you
but no combination of twenty six different leters could
ever accurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is

I craved for her warmth
I craved for her affection
I craved for her attention
I craved for her touch
I craved for her skin
I craved for her presence
I craved for her to never leave me...

I saw you at our spot, But you were no longer waiting for me, You were waiting for someone else. I saw you there sitting under the shade of the tree waiting. My stomach began to turn, Just thinking of you waiting for someone else made my stomach burn like I've just eaten a ball of hot molten lead, Slowly burning my insides causing me pain every second that passes. I feel a tight grasp around my neck suffocating me as I watch people pass you by wondering if they're the one you've been waiting for. I keep my distance watching you as I ran out of breathe and while the butterflies inside my stomach dies one after the other...

I have this bad habit of biting my nails whenever I'm nervous. I didn't seem to grew out of it when I was a kid. And to me that kinda **** cause you can tell straight away that I'm not doing okay, You would be there by my side calming me down telling me all this nice words just to soothe me. For as long as I can remember whenever I get nervous you would be at my side instantly.

But one day I was trembling and I looked for you but you were no near my side, I started biting my nails until one of them started to bleed, I had remembered that you were no longer by my side anymore. So I stopped biting my nails.

Teach me
how to rebuild things
without the cracks
a broken window for example
is there some secret
to fitting all the little shards into place
and leaving the fractures
spilled upon the ground
does the new whole
have to carry the memory of mistakes
there must be better ways
than sewing or gluing or tying
I would rather not have to stitch up
the tears in my heart
I’m not very good with needles
and if the thread gets loose
well, who knows what could get in

Sabi nila sakin masama daw sayo ang sigarilyo,
Pero sumisindi parin ako kapag pagod at stressed na ako.
Natatawa na lang ako tuwing mag sisindi ako nang yosi.
Kasi ikaw ang naalala ko.

Natatawa na lang ako at napapngisi kapag nag yoyosi,
At iniisip ko sa sarili ko kung bakit nga ba kita naalala?
Sa tingin ko nakasama ka sakin kaya kita naalala..

For as long as I knew, Your face was etched in my head. Every detail, every ****** feature that made you so beautiful in my eyes. But lately as I tried to remember I can't seem to paint your face anymore. Its seems I've forgotten to paint your face

My coffee was getting cold as I waited for you to miss me while my cigarettes were running one after another trying to forget you

The idea of having you was beyond me,
But the idea that I will never have you devastated me.

I've been wandering for as long as I can remember.
I was just breathing my way through life, I wasn't really living it.
The days would pass as if it were nothing to me.
Just another cycle of the earthing spinning there's a start and an end.
Never have I looked forward to tomorrow cause I know it brings me nothing.
Never have I been so wrong before.

The moment that the days began to mean something to me,
It wasn't just empty anymore they were filled with
anticipation,excitement,eagerness and
I was looking forward for tomorrows now because now they mean something to me.
I was finally living my life and not just breathing it away.
It astounds me that certain events could've transpired into such meaningful moments.

How I wished it would've lasted until we got older.
But it seems that it doesn't work that way.
For a certain moment I thought everything was perfect, Too perfect.
It left me as fast as it came.
That brief moment of ecstasy was suddenly replaced by unwanted things.
I had you and yet I let you slip away. I never was good at holding on.

You came like a ship in the night and left like a vicious storm from the sea.

I like the rain and I know you do too. I can only hope that the coming storm is the kind of storm that we like. I like your thoughts, the way they shimmer in the light. and now I need you to know that when the sky is a mass of discontent, and when all of the lights go out, I just want you to feel something.

I expressed myself through words that I have spoked and have written.
But nobody can seem to understand what's hidden

They seem to care and love it.
But behind closed doors the shun and despise it.

Is there truly no one who'd appreciate the sincere work I've done.
Maybe somehow, someday that person might show up and make me forget the bad ones

How I wish they would all be like that...