It keeps happening
I can't stop it forever
Eventually I'll return to years ago
You were always able to stop me

You gave me hope
I need something to help
I can't do this alone
I want to do it again

If I'm here I can't be stopped
I can't fight it much longer
I want to put it off forever
It's just so tempting though

I think I'm doing something wrong
I don't want to fail you
I don't want you mad at me
I just feel like I need this

I tried it one night
It was before we were torn apart
I couldn't do it though
I thought of you and stopped

I can't keep doing that
I'm just so angry inside
I need to change
I need you here with me

I don't dream of many things
But I have had one dream for many years
It's the one I wish were real life
Only recently I've thought it may actually be

I've been having a surreal time
It's funny how it never lasts
This time I even knew why
It's as if the universe taunts me

I can never be left alone
I'll be in a worse spot than years ago
There is no place for hope anymore
It's either real or imaginary

It's an answer I'm afraid to know
I can't avoid it much longer
It's been too many years
I can't go on like this

Maybe I shouldn't even try
Maybe the worst is inevitable
My mind is always deceiving me
It is the worst feeling

It keeps me up every night
I only dream while awake
I know I won't make it genuine
My dreams become my worst nightmares

By now you must know how I feel
You know I how much I care
You know what I really want
I know you can see that

I don't know why I waited so long
Just one second is all it takes
But I've wasted so many long years
Years that could have meant so much more

I can no longer get a nice welcome home
I will be stranded and strained
Trying to resist will take incredible strength
For your sake and mine I can't

The possibility is scary
You know I want it to end
The fear and pain we both share
I can see it in your eyes

I know you aren't alright
Please let me see into you
Pull me in please
Pull me into the darkness

I will share what you have
You know that I need it
I never left this other world
The dark one I was immersed in

It's been many years now
And I don't know how much more I can take
I will be there in the darkness
Waiting to take your hand

I will never leave
I belong in this nothingness
I will stay here
And I will wait for you

You know what I want
We both know it
I wish we didn't pretend I don't feel
I wish we could feel what I do
together

As I have watched the dew satisfy the land
Or the many times you brushed over my hand
I stand amongst the trees in a dreadful fear
Wondering why I try to get so near

The thick fog of morning clouds my mind
The fires of the morning sun light a path I may never find
I spare only a glance away from the wonder
Only when my peace is torn asunder

The entire world and all of its beauty
Can not keep my mind from going off duty
The breath of air and scent of flowers
Can not stop the frightful way my mind cowers

As I sit under a moon covered by clouds  
I can't think with my mind being so loud
At times I try my hardest to relax
But it is so hard knowing all of these facts

Maybe the wind can ******* away
To a place in the forest as all the trees sway
To become a part of this beautiful world
After all the times my lip has curled

The path that I choose will be that of aloneness
As I would then live a life feeling hopeless
My dreams show a life I have fought
While reality shows my life is naught

It has been raining all day
My mind is fogged by thick clouds of gray
I don't know where I am going
I have always lived without ever knowing

Soon I will be away again
I won't need to come back for my friend
I don't know how long I'll be gone
Until then I'll continue staying awake until dawn

My eyes can barely see anymore
My heart continues to sink to the floor
I want to be alone these days
That way I won't need to see that murderous gaze