you'll blame yourself for everything. when she cries, when she screams, when she harms herself. you'll think you're the reason for every bit of pain she feels when honestly she doesn't even know why she's in pain
2. you'll deal with her pushing you away. she'll constantly tell you that she's awful and you'll tell her no while she says you guys should stay separate. it'll be confusing for a while but you'll get used to it
3. you'll hear her say "lets break up" a million times and you know she doesn't mean it. she just wants you to not be in as much pain as she is. you know you're her anchor. she just wants everything to stop spinning
4. you'll deal with her thinking you're her whole world. you're her sun and moon and stars and her love. you feel like its overwhelming at first but then it doesnt stop being like that.
5. you'll love all the happy moments you have together because she's an absolute joy when she's happy. she's like the sun and she shines so brightly. the rainy days have ended for a bit. its only partly cloudy. she's the sun peaking through.
6. you'll deal with hurting too. when you fight, it feels like it's never ending. she won't stop pushing you away and you keep repeating that you'll be there for her because you love her. but that's not good enough for either one of you. it ends with a lot of hugging or crying
7. you'll deal with her eventually crying all the time. she says she's getting worse. you fight all the time. all you guys want is for this to work. is this what love is? if so then why does it hurt so much?
8. you'll eventually break up because she pitched the idea to you. she always cared about your feelings more. you keep saying how much its not the thing to do but deep down you both know its right. she just wants you to be happy. you want her to be happy. but now, it seems like just a concept. a fake idea.
9. you'll listen to her talk to you about how much this hurts when its late at night. you'll feel upset with yourself and she'll cry all night. it's not right when she pushes you away. all you want was to keep in contact with her. this isn't fair. why is she blaming you? why is it your fault?
10. you'll eventually stop talking. it'll stop hurting. and you'll forget her name by the time you're 20 and she'll forget to rely on anyone again. you both win. it wasn't a happy ending
you'll always find someone new
i'm still hurting