ugly, fat
Its shouted down the halls and written on the walls
How you treat me, its like im not even human
Not even breathing
I AM a human being
Recognize I AM breathing
I can feel it all, like when your dagger wedged itself into my back
Stupid, freak
Words painted on my mind, send self-hate crawling up my spine
Its evident your heart is back, by the way you never fail to soak my sleeves, in crimson red
Pray to god, let me wake up dead
There is a pounding in my head as I realize
I AM weak
I AM failing, falling into blackness, void all light
No ones here, not even the faintest whisper of you're alright
Just hang in tight
I can only be strong for so long
But you know that, huh?
You see how im breaking
I AM suffocating
I am NOT breathing
You can't find it in your heart to care, but you should
Because I WAS a human being

I could **** myself
I could
I could do it
Right now
It would feel good
Really
It would be relief
I will
Im going to
You don't believe me
I see it in your eyes
Do you dare me?
Dare me to take a bath in blood
To hang by the neck
Pull the trigger
I will
I would
Im a coward
Your right
I wont

I don't know what to do
with your sadness
with your pain
long gone are the days
when my voice lit up your face
when my lips were your favorite taste
now you cry over another pretty face
and my kind words fall
rotting at your feet
we hold to friendship by a slowly breaking strand
I steal your attention when I can
this wasn't how it was supposed to be
not the plan
I wasn't supposed to hurt
not me
I miss the days when I was the reason for your smile

this feeling
its the memory of pain
its loneliness
its shame
its the drive to cut
its the need to disappear
I hate it
it wont let me be happy

Doctor help me
give me the pill
the prescription
the fix it all
I’ll buy into the system
just take away the feeling
the shrink he says somethings wrong with me
its my brain
please Doctor
I’m begging  
scam me
give me the drug
the prescription
the fix it all
make me numb
and you could be numb too
we all have a problem
we all have a disorder
we are all bipolar, attention deficit, borderline or depressed
you see there is a name for your problems and a pill that can solve them
now you're hooked too huh?
now you buy into the system
its an ugly addiction
we’re all addicted to the high
addicted to the ****** the Lithium the Prozac
the antidepressants and the mood stabilizers
we all live and breath the fix it all system
over diagnosed zombies
lacking responsibility we beg
Doctor help me
tell me somethings wrong with me
tell me its not my fault
tell me you will give me my fix it all

I see the black snake of death.
As it suffocates me and steals my breath I see the word lies written across it’s neck.
Gulping coughing choking on regret, but the serpent tells me not to fret.
Twisting tying constricting my soul.
It won't let go.
Manipulation cold contemplation has led to this aggravation, and my ******* lack of hesitation.
Tears fall without grace, the snake and I now face to face.
Its hollow eyes take me in, drench me in unholy sin.
Gagged and rotten are the teeth of death.
It’s jaw unhinges and I see the tunnel leading me straight to hell.
I once was an angel but slowly I fell.
Crashing to the darkness below, I am forever here to dwell.

Scratch my eyes out, make me blind.
Your sweet lies control my mind.
I shutter as you grab me from behind.
Puppet master, turning my life into a disaster.
I pray for the end to come faster.
Take my hand, and show me pain.
Take my heart, and drive me insane.
With you there is nothing to gain.
I give, you take.
Everyday a new heartbreak.
Everything about you is so fake.
I say cut out my eyes.
Keep telling me lies.
I still let you between my thighs.
I tell myself its not fair, but in reality I'll always be there.
How stupid of me to think you really care.