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February's
another month marked;
its ever requisite yellow roses
unceremoniously left for a morrow's snow's
cover of quiet over stone rows;
a foot path pocked
temporarily
i am sitting here. blank face.
counting the ripples on the pool.

one.... two.... ok, enough.

the hairs on my arm?
too many.
too blonde.

practice minor pentatonic scales?
if only i knew what they were good for.
blues scales?
ok.
root, flat third, fourth, sharp fourth, flat seventh, eighth.
[**** i'll be proud if that's right.]

overthink everything.
write way too many poems,
save them all as drafts.
wonder if you'd even respond.
think of calling you.
decide not to.
"your unwanted calls"...
or something that you wrote forever ago,
keeps me away.
you keep me away.
[if only you handled this by saying
maybe in the long run we'll actually get to know each other...
this is for the best.
wouldn't that be grand?
wouldn't that be way better
than some short term relationship
that would just end in this hatred for me anyway?]

i pout,
look out the window,
notice the blue sky.
i wonder why you can't be happy.
i wonder why I can't be happy.
i meant to start this off

"dear horus,"
(a follow-up)

Those days, I could still recall clearly
When, I did not feel warm hands
That would catch me if I ever fell
When I took my first steps as a baby...
When I had no one to take me to school on my first day
Had to cope with fear through my own childly ways,
I did many other firsts in my life,
On my own,
Without the warmth and caring presence of
My father....

Somehow, a notion came about...
And I reflected long on it...
This is an Epiphany in my late summer years...
Those days I was without him physically,
Were the moments I strongly felt his presence...
He would be---
In front of me
Beside me
Behind me,
All those times, taking care of me
The only way he could:
By invisibly watching over me...
While my mother was at work,
While I was playing,
While in school,
While growing up as a teenager...
When my safety was jeopardized,
He was very much with me...
In my dreams, he would comfort me...
Talk to me, assuage my fears...
Even wanted to take me with him,
To save me...
And yet, he didn't....
He was selfless in his most unseen
But felt ways...

During the darkest, scariest,
Loneliest, and most difficult moments,
I just had to imagine his face,
Then things would turn out okay
For I felt his presence then...

Today, as I reflect on how I got to this age,
How I lived my life without him,
I have realized, those long-running hours,
Were not lost days at all...

I now have found my days with my father,
For, he is  my guardian angel,
He had been, he was, he is,
He will constantly be with me...
All my days,
Here on earth and beyond...

All my days...



Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
***Thank you, John Stevens! From your comments, this poem was born.***
of the tongue
               and body
           as it beats
              the demons
                 of my own silence to a gentle hum –
  a drunk laced
   representation
    of what the watching eyes
                                        desire,
            ­                            crave,
                              ­          emulate
                                          in their sacred spaces –
      center stage
     with every performer
         abroad this conditioned
               disillusion –
     how it masks
      all the confusion
       for those that
         jumped in early –
   the lights
    look so friendly
   when you need them,
      but it's you
        who feeds
            them
          and you die
    without knowing it,
                 you cry
    without showing it –
    mourn, in distractions,
      what could have been;
      what could have been
          if you didn't have
             to keep on
                       searching –

    the pen marks
   rely on the same security,
       lost in its
        contrived purity –

           the light is blinding,
            but it keeps us from
  rewinding,
  reminding
    our hearts of the pain
    or the game,
all the same –

wanting too much
for no good reason -
 May 2014 Del Maximo
JM Romig
This morning,
I swallowed the entirety of everything,
swallowed it in one swift gulp.
washed it down with a tall glass of Milky Way.
I was ready to greet the day,

But everything gave me gas
that (knotted up inside me) sang
so I let it out with a big bang --

and watched the particles disperse
to form themselves into a universe
with me at the center -
on my throne,
self-appointed king of this nonsense poem
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