time moves forward
winding through galaxies
coursing through milkyways
pulsing through universes
hanging on heartbeats
yesterday, today and tomorrow
happening concurrently
burned onto disks stacked on top of each other
lifetimes skipping tier to tier
peeking through veils of reality
scoping inward to Brownian motion
zooming outward to life’s whole
energy flowing freely through meridians
navigating congestion and voids
finding balance in life’s peaks and valleys
like electrocardiograms
my lifereadings on paper
lately I’ve been flatlining
routines can be boring
drudgery stagnates
maybe I’m just physically tired
maybe I’m tired of life
caught behind a rock in a river
awaiting a cataract to break me free
and restore the song of life’s flow
maybe I’m an insignificant speck of dust
a blip off life’s radar
or maybe the smallest piece of jigsaw
is an equal part of the whole

he steps forward to bless us with song
benediction’s serenade
binder clips and clothespins weaken wind
as sheet music tries to take flight
with each strum he was fighting it
emoting with sad lips and blue eyebrows
taking deep breaths let out with heavy sighs
but holding steady
singing and crying come from the same place
as he sang the sun sneaked out
shadows surrendered their stronghold
a moment of warmth shown upon our gathering
near the pine tree at our father’s grave
Terence’s ashes to be interred with dad
a musician, an artist, a writer of songs and poems
a technician, an electrician, a wood worker
his many gifts now only spoken of in past tense
a son to two, a brother to eight
an uncle to many
a father to one daughter
his passion relived in his writings and works
his essence reflected in her eyes

it’s somewhere inside you
the place where poetry comes from
creativity’s corner
you search for it
playing hide and seek
with that spot in your brain
that area of artistry, inspiration and heart
“It’s a hemisphere shift”, they say
but they can’t tell you how to do it
how to make the jump from left to right
from logical to visionary
from specific memories to everything ever experienced
it seems to be a mysterious, unexplainable act
but it’s really quite simple
discovered incidentally
while getting into writing mode
just diffuse your eyes
changing your perspective
look at the things in front of you
survey the scene
focus on the big picture
drinking it all in
then, without moving your head
look elsewhere
put the big picture in the background
hold it in your peripheral vision
focus on one thing visually
or focus on nothing
practice it again and again
go from big picture to small picture
from infinity to macro
it’s like being inside yourself
like focusing on a phone call
instead of the world around you
or like indulging in a daydream
so go ahead and try it
narrow your focus with your mind’s eye
and step through the looking glass
to a place where ideas shoot like stars
and explode like sky rockets in a midnight sky

been feelin' lousy lately
lethargic
lacking in energy and appetite
nauseated
something is wrong
it is a virus?
or a backlash from all that's been going on?

the interment was hard
my oldest brother presided
he's a former priest
my youngest brother sang and played guitar
he almost didn't make it through
but as he sang
the sun broke through the overcast
they put his ashes in a small white sarcophagus
afterwards, mom wanted to bid her farewell
by resting her hand on the "coffin"
my oldest brother led her there
they seemed to linger so I joined them
with one arm around mom
and one hand on the coffin
it had been a full month since he died
I thought I was all cried out

afterwards, we had a backyard potluck at my sister's
just family
four generations in attendance
and two gracious cousins
we were quite a crowd
it was good talking with my nieces and nephew
they're growing up
I don't see them nearly enough
like when they were kids

now there's only the future
yesterday was my birthday
at my age I used to dread it
and try to ignore it
but my younger brother's death fomented an urgency
to live and enjoy life
so happy birthday to me
at times he was my best friend and my worst enemy
my partner in night time bike riding
my parent's squealing pig prince
that got away with everything
good bye Terence
for the good times and bad times
I thank you

worthiness of stars
ants and lillies of the field
little gray sparrows
the sun is a speck of dust
universe's perspective

all encompassing
He rains on the just and unjust
throughout life's puzzle
but the sun's gotta shine on
a dog's *** sometime, ya know?

it seems so unfair
trial and error parenting
consumed by harshness
lashing out with cruelty
in never ending cycles

who you have become
seeing the things you hold dear
the flight of an owl
a sapphire bluest lake
a woman to share your life

you know who you are
the person you are inside
you turned out all right
an intelligent wise ***
handling demon's whisperings

somehow you made it
some kinda way you found out
learned it on your own
inspite of evil's face, you're
worthy of every good thing

~blessed be

it had been awhile--years
he doesn't believe in visiting
he's not there anyway
it's only remains
ashes and dust

he couldn't find the tombstone
a small slab of marble among many
his eyes walk around
reading a matrix of columns and rows
searching  for his name
his steps mindful of sacred ground
keeping balance in uneven hole-y-ness
the crab grass is overgrown
feet sinking into layers of runners
rendering footing unsure
it has to be by that tree

he finds it finally
just where it always was
they already marked it with white spray paint
a spot to be dug up
for his brother's interment
he will join Dad tomorrow
in a ceremony of guitars
this was his last chance
to visit alone with Dad

he stood staring
reading the engraved words
the stone is scarred but holding up
so nice to see it again
induced feelings of connection
a pleasant surprise

he took out his flute
drawing it close to lips
Dad never heard him play in life
perhaps he heard it in heaven
if not, maybe he'll hear it now

an improvised, sorrowful melody
fingers thinking out a tune
reverberating through hills
all the way to the ocean's sky
dissipating into wind
whispering on breezes
after pausing to read the name again
another song
he wonders if Dad heard him
then realizes it doesn't matter
he played it for *him

moving forward from A to B
to eternity
from milliseconds to eons
from a tick of the clock
to a heartbeat
to a lifetime
each measure, a length of string
determined by Fates
or a burning wick
in a roomful of candles
where nothing can be earned

time spent
time left
with universes in between
life's images captured in a puddle
harmonic resonance ripples through the calm
radiating outward
energy rebounding and returning to stillness

reflections of a harvest moon
on white rushing waters
blue electricity crackling on crest tops
as waves unfurl on shores
and return to oceans
a vision viewed since antiquity
moments of time shared with ancients
and generations
tallied by stars and grains of sand