i'm cold                 yet thats nothing new                
i'm always cold lately        

i refuse to put more layers on
so i sit                          
and shiver        

finally            
i actually feel something        
it's bitter cold                        
but it's real    

not like the fake heat            
of thinking about you                
fake love
where it was real

no, instead                                    
i remain frozen                      

an ice statue  
where tears fall                    
but its okay      

because

they freeze
before they get far            
they roll down
to halfway                  
before stopping
on my cheek          

tiny frozen icicles

i've become like a rubix cube
i am placed in the cupboard        
to be taken out on occasion
and put in a disarray  
twisted                                    
turned    ­          
confused                          
  
   just to be put back    
only after being caused more            
damage

after once again being
re-accommodated                
to the lonely cupboard

someone else                                
with obvious time to pass
clasps their hands on me              
only to expenditure
their fancied time on me

but once again                  
being returned into the loneliness
of the cupboard

waiting for the day
when someone else finds me        
dusts me off                                  
and returns me
to my initial state of orderliness

colour co-ordinated      
and whole

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Spend the morning,
Wrapped in cold sheets,
My skin touching yours,
Your warm lips pressed to mine.
The sound of birds all around,
But your heartbeat loud in my ear,
The only song I’ve memorized.