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DeeDeeK Jun 2012
I hate that he can be passionate...
and then show no emotion
I hate that he says he loves me...
but there he goes again
I hate that I love his touch...
but it seems I'm holding on
I hate that I love so much...
but I love the wrong one
DeeDeeK Jun 2012
it's time to find my old friend
(my *******)
it doesn't care about making amends
(my *******)
no false hopes or promises
it does what it says (and advertises)
(my *******)
so back to the tried and true
(my *******)
in hopes I'll forget about you ...
... there's no guarantees
DeeDeeK May 2012
she asked me, 'what do you get from him?'
I said I didn't know
I think what keeps me going back
the truth that I don't show
is feeling that for the first time
I'm really not alone

living for ephemeral touches
most of the time apart
wrenching little pieces off
the fabric of our hearts
in lieu of the whole garment

so back I go, again and again
wondering why it had to be him
knowing we'll never have what we want
a life out of reach, seeming to taunt
powerless against his allure
DeeDeeK May 2012
when I write to you to tell you
of my deepest emotions
you respond with 'calm down'
as if you picture me in histrionics
wailing and pulling out my hair
which mystifies me
for I was calm all along
DeeDeeK May 2012
when I dream
it is of you - not of him
not of past loves, or those I thought
were love

your dreams
are of her - faded distant long-ago times
even though she
broke your heart

which breaks mine anew
DeeDeeK May 2012
take away this pain!
hold me in your arms again
you're my everything
DeeDeeK May 2012
shadows are cast even in sunlight
apex of light, brilliance notwithstanding
there exists a room closed off

no light penetrates
this room, coccoon-like in velvet inky
darkness safely tucked in

remembering shame so powerful
when he pulled me onto his lap
saying, 'you did this'

darkness in the middle of the day
will never see sunlight or
let any light in to stay
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