I’m sending you this message in a bottle
To see if I can touch your thoughts with mine
Although the hopes and laughter,  I send may reach you after
They’re tattered by the ravages of time
I watch the bottle drift to the horizon
No hope of whats inside reaching your eyes
But if by chance they do, and my bottle comes to you
It may then be a memory, in disguise

My words to you are those I’ve said today
Tonight they drift upon the sea alone
Years from now to find you, just someone to be kind to
Even though by then I shall be gone
So watch over the ocean for a message
Sent from I, so lost and long before
To read the hopes and dreams, of a man insane it seems
As we stand upon a past,
and future shore....

Dean Evans
8-14 2012

Trapped within the lost and lonely regions we call self
I wonder, sit and ponder who I've left upon my shelf
What I've gotten, or forgotten seems to come and go
The memories now are gone, what have I done?,
well I don't know...
The man that I became, He took the blame and lost the time
What you thought I was, is just because I'm in your mind
I've seen it in your eyes, the sad goodbyes, you walked away
I listened for those words you give, I live to hear you say
Lost inside my heart, in the only part that you can't see
Lies deep there in the loneliness, The Openness, of me
I've known, or thought I'd known I'd find the answer to it all
What have I done, where could I run?...
and hope to feel this small
If you should leave, could I believe, my spirit thereupon
How must I now go forward, can my happiness be won
Could I tell it from this hell I'm in, with each step that I take,
Forgive those things, that sorrow brings,
and that words can sometimes make...
Although I cry.. I know that I have nothing left, but time
And though I still look for the will, I've lost reason and rhyme
I hope your heart can see what we, discovered in those days
Your gentle eyes, the hows the whys,
and all your loving ways...
The things you gave me, and tried to save me from my wrongful thought
The love we had, died oh so sad, what was it I had brought
Did I do too much, and so the touch became to me unreal
Or did I take the love we'd make, and let the passion steal
Steal the love that I'd thought of, as everlasting fate
Only to find, it was of the kind, two minds cannot relate
To break the man, the woman and two hearts that wanted this,
But nothing shows, no flower grows,
we've kissed our final kiss...
So that now, we know not how it's ended up this way
But I remember a dying ember, as love faded away
And now these steps I take, they make sad prints of what could be
And what we had, the good, the bad comes back,
to comfort me....

DEAN EVANS
8-13-07
(revised 10-14-14)

My heart holds no remorse for me, and the love that I have lost
No sympathy for heartache, no concept of the cost
The empty time that saw my heart be frozen by the frost
From bitter winds of loneliness
and the cold lines I have crossed
Somewhere along the way it seems I found myself deserted
The love that once had burned in me, so strangely now diverted
Perhaps the efforts of my hopeless days and nights, concerted
Have left me here alone again, all thoughts of love perverted

Many tears ago now, I had known loves warm embrace
Too many years ago now to remember saving grace
Though I recall your loving ways, the smiles there on your face
I say your name out loud at times,
conjecture, just in case
I know it does no good now, to impart these thoughts to you
These dreams of what once was, now lost in memorial review
It leaves me deep within myself, my thoughts slightly askew
My heart refuses all requests to mislay its love for you

A heart that once knew what it meant, to love and hold so dear
The feelings of another heart, to comfort and revere
To see what lies ahead in life, where thoughts are crystal clear
Only soon to witness all that sadness will reveal
Hearts are never meant you see, to grieve in lamentation
Our minds recalling memories in quiet meditation
Tears fall as the rain, and as you drown in desperation
You find that you are traveling to sorrows destination

And so I must submit to the things that hearts bestow
And somehow to endure the pain my heart must undergo
I wonder if your heart will thus allow the status quo
And I alone, to long for you...
I guess that's how it goes
I live with a remorseless heart, for love I can’t retain
Within the thoughts of heartache and these things I can’t explain
I wonder when will love repent, to circumvent the pain
And quiet my poor broken hearts sorrowful refrain....

Dean Evans
6-14-14

My mind is leading me into a place I've never been
My heart is broken.. shattered, and scattered to the wind
I dream sometimes of loneliness, and a dreadful final kiss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are no rhymes for this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Darkened days and tortured nights, no sunshine only pain
Colorless, just black and white the autumn leaves became
How am I to travel forward?.. too much to take, to miss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are no rhymes for this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My days are being spent in silence, all alone with you
The quiet deafening to hear, though nothing I can do
The fabric of my thoughts are torn, and no way to resist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And still I find
Life so unkind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
There is no time for this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've held on to my hope, although my tired arms need rest
My aching head still thinking of these waves, I ride the crest
Of painful tides of blood and glass, the mirror feels my fist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cannot see myself again,
Looking, forced to start... begin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To make sad sense of this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's insanity I've found within my mind which keeps me sane
Reality, and this place I'm in is sunshine filled with rain
Each day I search for something that might actually exist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Inside the cold abyss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of where I am...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each door now closed and locked to me, can't ease the pain of why
Stop these dreams, nightmares awake, asleep I think that I
Now know my eyes have witnessed what this heartless life insists
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Demands of me
Commands to be
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
No joy is found in this...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My words to you must seem dis-assembled, rearranged
And in my mind the reasons for the words have all been changed
Over the years in what I've written, something is amiss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twisted and lost
And what the cost
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And so the thoughts persist...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The thoughts of just another day of where, and why and how
Another night consumed with fear, the fear of here and now
All of what I find, walking blind in sorrow's mist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Th­is fog of time
That clouds my mind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Un­able to endure, subsist...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Re­lief of life itself, provides me no relief
Belief in grace of God and Heaven , leaves me only grief
Looking for the answers to the questions I have missed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An­d I have found
No mind is sound
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~­~
There are no rhymes for this...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

D­ean Evans
9-14-07

I am but a lonely soul, my time now not recalled
Somewhere in the morning mist, I stand unseen, unknown at all
Just shadows on your memory, as nightmares in the day
I search for some safe haven from myself, though I have lost my way

Existence hides it’s face from me, I cannot see her eyes
I fear to look too closely, as I gaze into the distant skies
And so as such, I close my own, I cannot see the blinding bright
I fear that I may see those things I’ve dreaded in the darkened night

I may see that I am somewhere lost in time and space
The answers to my questions still elude me, although I give chase
Wandering alone, and far beyond, within the void of time
A Shadow man, downhearted, and departed from myself I find

Within the dark and empty places, dreams cannot survive
I search for one warm ray of light, to know that I am still alive
One soft quenching drop of rain, reminding me of blue
One unlocked and open door, as respite from the avenue

The avenue of broken hope, betrayal and regret
I wish someday to see the sun, although I haven’t seen it yet
I must believe it waits for me, out somewhere in my past
I retain no memories, no thoughts of any kind, that last

Imagined have I, what the world may look like with the dawn
Though swift I ride through mornings dusk, death, the horse I ride upon
Running from or running to, decisions ply uncertain fate
Behind me all forgotten, and the future finds me much too late

At times there is no other, but the one who lived once long ago
Days, are endless nights without the tenderness I used to know
Love is now unknown to be, Hell is watching, patiently
And I have seen the Shadow man,
in the mirror looking back at me...

Dean Evans
12-16-13

You left me on a rainy Tuesday, nothing more was said
I listened to the blues all day, to try and ease my aching head
I noticed there, a pool of tears to catch and so reflect instead
The day’s demise to evening, in clouds of pink and crimson red

I listened to those same old songs, I’ve heard a thousand times
You know, the ones we listened to when love was cherished, in its prime
It seems that now their meaning far and lost... within the lonely rhymes
Perhaps sorrow reveals herself, if I listen close…
between the lines

My dream is to relive, and thus repair those things that went so wrong
The radio however seems to play my sadness on, and on
The music helps me not at all, but then I knew that all along
The wasted years come flooding back, in the solemn words of that old song

I try hard not to listen, and as such not think of you
But then the week rolls back around, the Tuesdays come again on cue
It’s raining once again... and so I sit and listen to the blues
Remembering the day you walked away, it’s really nothing new

Oh I suppose the music tends to sooth me in some ways
To ease the broken memories that linger, trapped within the haze
I still recall your dark browns eyes, the shy and gentle loving ways
I close my eyes and drift to you,
as I listen to the music play..

Dean Evans
12-15-14

I have no sad delusion life will end, though I’ll move on
Into endogenetic, and the stillness from which we were born
To lie there undisturbed, Earth Mother cradles us until she’s gone
These thoughts all race across my mind,
and I’m just trying to hang on
What happens then as I believe is, we‘re ****** into the stars
To sail the Solar winds alone, far beyond Jupiter and Mars
Living bits of energy, ride on the Cosmos intra vires
Somehow I can hear the sound, but it’s much too faint,
and far too far

I must admit I’m at a loss, to understand what may be true
The answers to my questions, as of now are hidden from my view
I contemplate the subject looking up, to skies of cobalt blue
Somewhere far in distant time, some ancient place...
we rise anew
To live and love yet once again, and know that we exist
To see the softness of your eyes, and feel that soothing, gentle kiss
It’s late and I must sleep, and so my thoughts begin to slowly drift
The stars revolve above me once again…
and so the dreams persist

A dream of immortality?... that’s partially correct
Perhaps a glimpse within a hope, one instant to gently reflect
Upon our awesome journey, and the thought that life will resurrect
Consider such a moment.. where you and I, and God connect
And so my friends do not distress, about life’s imminent demise
We’ll live again light years from now, for the Universe shall improvise
Heaven waits for those who see the light, and all it so implies
Look deep into the cobalt blue, and you'll find your dreams there...
in the skies.

Dean Evans
12-17-14