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 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
carmen
I hate myself.

I never thought I would.
I wish you loved me.
Like you love them.
You threw me aside.
And made me think
What’s wrong with me?
I want.
What they have.
Because
If I had
What they have.
Maybe you would love me.  
Are they’re all throwing it away.
Life.
Everything is hard now.
So much harder than before.
It hurts to breathe sometimes.
It hurts less to cry.

I hate myself.
I never thought I would.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
carmen
away we go
me and you
off into the night
just where to?
into the castle of old
into the dungeons so cold
over the sea and the sky
look my dear
at how high we can fly.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
carmen
I overestimate how much I can handle.

All of the time.

I just now discovered this about myself.

It changes nothing, I will always take on the world.

Even if it kills me.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
carmen
Watch the world move, a day at a time. And once you’ve ceased trying, remember this rhyme.

Time doesn’t stand still. Not for a minute. For that minute is yours, and you better be in it.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
carmen
I feel like a mammoth sometimes
stomping and clomping and trying to find
Where all the other mammoths went.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
frankie
I finally understand what she was to me!
After all these months,
Searching,
Pleading for the right words,
I finally have the answers I've been looking for!

She wasn't the sun.
She was the brightest thing in the sky at the time,
But I could stare at her for hours
and feel everything but pain.

She wasn't the stars,
For although she was just as beautiful,
All the stars in the sky combined
Couldn't produce the light she did.

After asking for sympathy from the midnight sky,
I finally know what she was.

She was the Moon.

In the midst of the lonely autumn night,
She lit up the entire world.

Gray clouds rolled along,
But none of them could block her shine.

And I stared in melodious epiphany,
I came to understand that in that time,
You and I were the only things alive,
Ever.

My heart beat in time with the Moon,
I understood its phases,
Felt its craters,
And committed to it, my own.

The pale white light cast on
The weak wooden porch has helped
Me recognize the one solid truth
That has yet to escape my heart,
And my throat will groan if I don't scream it now,

That I have fallen in love with the Moon!

Her perfect ***** blonde hair,
Framing her beautiful pale face
And its illuminating smile.

And without the Moon,
The seas would rise and flood the Earth,
As if Poseidon himself were angry it left.

The Moon was with me all this time,
And i never knew,
Even when it was the only thing on my mind.

I love the Moon,
But now the New Moon has plagued the sky.
She's there,
But I cannot see her.

And that's ok.
I understand now.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
Candace
You are
       the poison running through
                                 cold veins
       the name exhaled under
                                 shaky breaths
       the melody drumming through
                                skipped heartbeats
       the haze clouding my
                                every thought.

Without you
              darkness filling
                         demons reigning
                                    dread consuming
           endless night.
 Jan 2014 Dayna Halcomb
Candace
Yesterday, I sat in front of the TV and watched my life play out before me
Like a badly directed sit com with scripted laugh track and jilted dialogue.

Opening theme song by: that obscure band you pretend to like so they’ll like you  

Starring: that older sister’s friend you thought about under the covers at night.
Starring: that family who said that boys liking boys and girls liking girls was destroying our nation.
Starring: that boy who held your mouth closed and forced you to wash his *** off your tongue
Before he called you baby and allowed you to kiss him.

Starring: that loving God who, you’re told, will no longer love you if you are true to yourself.  
Starring: that girl who you can’t have.
Starring: that girl you shouldn’t want.
Starring: that girl you can’t live without.

Starring: that society who taught you to hate your body.
Starring: that mirror that reinforces what they say.
Starring: those thoughts that tell you to give up because you’ll never be as smart as your sister.
Starring: you’ll never be as pretty as her.
Starring: a number on a scale that determines your self worth.

Starring: wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely
Starring: loneliness  
Starring: self-loathing
Starring: ****** thoughts you keep hidden because Christian girls like you should like Christian boys
                Like him who fingered you in his truck not an hour after praying in Jesus’s name.

Starring: that flutter in your stomach every time you hear her voice.
Starring: her being the reason you’re stay alive.
Starring: life, your life, lived by you and no one else

Starring: You, with a bible in one hand and a cigarette in the other,
                Because surely one of those things will smoke the demons out, you think.
                You hope.
No, I am not a Christian, rather
I am a child adopted and chosen
I am a friend, He is my buddy
I am a follower, humbly obeying the Leader
I am a disciple, carrying my cross daily
I am an heir of the heavenly kingdom
I am a steward of the gifts that he gave me
I am a servant, loyal and faithful
I am a princess, set apart and of royalty
I am a citizen in but not of this world
I am an ally, no longer an enemy
I am a soldier constantly in battle
I am a conqueror, for He has won the victory
I am a slave, not to sin but to righteousness
I am an ambassador, representing peace
I am a new creation, gone is the old
I am a handiwork, a grand masterpiece
I am a branch yielding much fruit
I am a temple, the Spirit lives in me
I am a light and salt to all the nations
I am His possession, bought with a price too heavy
The word "Christian" was initially a derogatory word and it is becoming again so recently. Christians are usually portrayed as legalistic hypocrites especially in popular media and I mostly blame this on the people who have forgotten that Christianity is something that is more of a relationship than a religion, and more of "doing" than "being".
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