I sent you an e-mail

But purposely got the address wrong

Just so I could see your name in my inbox

I mean

imissyousofuckingmuch@thiswouldonlybeeasierifyouweredead.co­m

You get a reply back

That says

“Being gone is beautiful

Try it sometime”

I don’t know where to go

The newfound balance in all the chairs I sit on throws me off

Put a level on my shoulder

Watch the bubble

It doesn’t know which way to lean either

I mean

Sitting up straight and proud

Has only even been for people who

Don’t have a shoulder to cry on

The density of your presence

Is big enough to make me walk funny

How I would have push back so hard against

Your shoulder leaning, I dare you to walk straight type, hand holding

So as not to walk into strangers

My left shoulder is boney bump bruise resistant

And I crash into the edges of things sometimes

To keep it that way

I mean

You’ve made me so much a slap stick version of myself

And I miss you

Because the world feels funny now

Because I am still learning what it means to have a true center

True balance

And I miss you

But I don’t want you back

Even the wolf with the thickest coat would shiver at your guile.

You are a princess of lies, ruling oe'r your spineless
Subjects

You are known well in a far away land, but here your words have no sway

Here the sun does not set or rise at your childish beckoning

Here you are a liar, thief, and mother of hate

Malice is your brother, and you both walk hand in hand

As do I little sister
As do I

Everything happens for a reason
No one who ever knows anything
Is not a someone to me
Usually
But your blue eyes know
The inside of my mind
I'm an Indian prince
Of chikiwa descent
It's my birthday today
Red dress
Your whistle seems dry
Drink up this
Fire water with me
Hands lead to shoulders to mouths to tongues
Music plays on the radio
Crackeling in the dark
Smoking coffin nails for scientific research
You have stumbled on a space age invention
Number 666
I got out of jail for this
****** ******* town
So I smoked the peace pipe
For days and days
We shot bullets and tequila
Numbing Human pain
I'll pray for you to Allah
You pray for me to fate
Jesus was my friend
My favorite cellmate

but rivers(like children laugh and run
the whole earth over)they are a smarting
riots of purest fornicating waters
they with the land do
they push into the
dark rich earth
their awl
and
they sigh
at the nape of
my yard i hear
them back there
and they have so little
perfect whispers and secrets
they tell them to me and i get into
the smallest parts of them and they
make me more than the imperfect changing
spit and blood
                          those rivers
                                                are
                                                      beautiful

if i know a strength then i know a weakness
(and i know it)
                            come
                     right  over
                      here and i'll
                                           tell
                                    you
                    ­       what
                                    it
                     ­                   i  s
                                         ­     (i'll whisper it to you)
                                                    and it is you!
                                           it is in your slightest body's
                                           cavities that is where it is
                                           the 2 immeasurable heaps
                                           of your *******(who between
                                           them hold that flittering stutter
                                           of your love muscle)over your
                                           tummy they distend perfectly
                                           roundest and nubile
                                           and over what a belly
                                           that patient field of softest dermis
                                           (but it's not perfect(and that's why i love it)
                                           )it's besmirched by some little coarse darlings
                                           who meander down its sloping palisade
                                           into the impolite swarm of your hips
                                           those dears creep down into a sturdy
                                           copse of sharply culled(by little pretty pink
                                           razors when you took a shower last night)
                                           filaments(and those prickle babes poke and
                                           tickle my nostrils as i build into your strongest
                                           smallness a leaping vociferous erosion,
                                                        ­                                                         '
                                                               ­                                               '
                ­                                                                 ­                                ,
                                                               ­                                            .

there you are:
shaking your fist as if it were a rattle and
aimlessly insulting the air
in front of you.

there isn't anyone blocking your view
of what just might be a good place,
if you let it, a good
moment or two if you
want them,
a good year
or so if you
work
for
it.