I am a ****** for ***
I will snort coke off your ***
I will lick the inside of your ******
I will slap and bite your ****
I will scrape your throat with my *****
I will choke you until you scream and gasp for air
I will make you hurt.

Sweet sickness
I cure with
This bottle of
Jack

Empty reasoning
You don't understand
Just how I
Feel

I sit and watch the world go by
I'm so sad
I can't stand it anymore
I am mad

Headache I have
It hurts so bad
Marijuana helps dull the
Pain

Watch as I
Twist in this
Sick convulsion I have
Made

I sit and watch the world go by
I'm so sad
I can't stand it anymore
I am mad

Your arrogance is what
Shall feed
Watch out now
You'll bleed

I sit and watch the world go by
I'm so sad
I can't stand it anymore
I am mad (x2)

**** on my hands
Feet steeped in dirt
My back pains to stand
My raw **** begins to hurt

Excuse my vulgarity as it is not my intent
Excuse my anger as it tends to become violent
Excuse yourself for your ignorance and malice
Excuse my voice, if you want quiet crazy go ask Alice

Watch my face as I start to grin
It kinda ***** to watch you win

My aggression teaches lesson
My death is all that is left

Watch the water as it turns black
Black as my soul
Black as coal

My sin is your deliverance
My goal is your difference

Can't you see how blind I am?
Cant you feel how hurt I am?
Wash the blood of of my hand
Wish you luck I don't give a ****

Can you people guess my direction?
It has become hard to maintain *******
The voices blend into a shout
Hard for me to figure it out.

If you want sleep
Don't be a creep
For your soul will weep
For your eyes will start to bleed.

I can hope you decipher my message
If not well **** my guesses
Of your thoughts and intentions
All apologies of which I speak
Can't help when my eyes don't blink

Do you like it here?
Are you as warm as you appear?
Living on a cloud
going softly not loud
into the abyss
molded by a fluid
of unintelligible life
in a glowing retina
of a super sentient being
in space.

I love your
clean glow
from which
the warmth
transcends
unto me.

Smack me so I can feel
Awake
Awake
Awake
Awake

I made up.
A thought came
to mind. While
you're away, does
it hurt as
much it does
me? There has
to be a
solution. There has
to be a
better way. I
will find it.
I swear on
the church of
Joe Bob Freeman
there has to
be a better
way.

Blue skies
Over a
River of blood
In which I bathe
Never will be clean
Germs in my eyes

Clueless to the obvious
Until I realized
No one can satisfy
That which must be fed

Why are you scared?
Why must I shout?
There's nothing there
in my head, just let me out.

Every time I breathe,
think of a time to bleed.
Every time I breathe,
I feel like we should breed, yeah.

Now watch, just watch
as I blow your mind.
Feeling as if I'm after you.
This knife, this blade
it shimmers bright.
I will slice you if I'm wanting to.

Yet every time I breathe,
I feel as if it is my last.
Every time I breathe,
sleep the death red dream, yeah.

Sleep the death red dream.

I don't think you've
learned, not one bit.
Look at this wreck
I have become.
Relinquish your
vice like grip from
around my throat.
****** my **** raw.
Blood from my
**** drops into
the toilet in which
my reflection lies.
Bruises on my skin.
Bruises on my eyes.

Shoot yourself up
With toxic waste
Coffee grounds in a cup
Man what a delicious taste

**** girl you're looking fine
That *** looking best
Don't get too drunk off that wine
I want to snort a line off of your breast

Tastes good
Got wood
Hot night
Genitals fight

My cup full of shiny tears
Salty caffeinated fuel
Bring to life all of my fears
Make me feel like a tool

I have to go
I feel sick
I want you to know
You have my ****

Tastes bad
Got sad
Hot ****
Genitals hit

Gone insane
Cut my vein
Gone insane
Cut my vein
Gone insane
Cut my vein

Oh, no one seeks a partner with a beautiful mind.
It is all beautiful bodies and *****.
A girl with no other options seems to be what I'll find,
and it really makes me sick.

I could paint a picture of serenity and love
in a vast and epic view.
I seem to have none of the above
and I want you to have mine too.

Call me bitter.
Call me jealous.
Call me what you will.

None seem to understand what I am getting at,
but hopefully soon you will.

Let me take you back a decade or so.
A young, fat, spotty faced teen
thinks one day he will sometime know
love and *** through another person instead of sticky magazines.

He wastes his time looking for another soul
for years upon years until he is no longer a boy.
His short, wide ***** finally finds a hole
and it brings him great joy.

He thought *** was great hoping to do it again,
although for a while it didn't much to his chagrin.
He caves in and spends money on ill gotten ******,
sadly he he gets bored and quickly finds it to be a filthy chore.

At his wits end, suicidal and sad
wanting nothing but a woman's love,
things were looking bad
until something came out of the darkness, an angel from above.

She was young and beautiful,
he could not deny.
The good times were bountiful
and he never told a lie.

He was happy and angst free for around 8 months
but the angel was a traitor and he was a putz.
A drunken ******* with no remorse.
The end had come and run the course.

Call it sad
Call it tragic
Call it what you will

I now understand it
and I hope you do too.

Now he travels this barren sea
of bros and hos and endless stupidity
with no hope, no cares,
no *** and no love.

Wishing he could do something with another
instead of hate.
He needs a new lover.
He needs a new mate.

"****!" he shouts with a frog in his throat,
"Why can't I be happy while everyone gloats?"
In is defense, life isn't quite fair
to those without muscles and dye in their hair.

And now all he does is silently weep,
listen to Elliott Smith, and shout in his sleep.

Call him an emo
Call him a loser
Call him what you will.

The moral is for you to quit being arrogant and judgmental, slutty and stupid.
There are men and women out there who wish they could.

I have issues to work on.
These issues don't work.
My issues tend to darken
and make me become a ****.

I smell it in the air.
I smell it in the air.

I wish I could express myself better.
I can't think of the words.
The blood on my head gets wetter,
it tends to attract the birds.

I smell it in the air.
I smell it in the air.

Change sweet change.

I am in a funk.
A ****** funk.
A funky ****** funk.
A fucky funky funked ****** funk.

Depression.
Oh, me.
Big freaky me.
Love me.
I hate you.
Pick me.

One out of millions of zeros.

Ohio.
****.
Canada, oh Canada.
What a place to be.

Decision to make.
Leave it all behind.
Watch the blood drip.
Cry deeply.

0 out of a sea of 1s.

I think the bottle has become uncorked.
I think I could have stopped it,
but I know it wouldn't have worked.
This slew of madness is about to unfold.
I wonder if I can die young
before I grow old.
The darkness compounds frustration.
The hate on which I feed
will breed creation.

A new personality.
A new vibe.
A new rationality.
A new tribe.

I will emerge from this cocoon
better and more beautiful than I once was.
Fly away,
fly away from here.

What's that sound?
Everybody gather round.
You hear it now?
That sizzle, that crackle, that awful smell?
It's time for you all
To do the crack dance!
Do the crack dance!
Shake and shiver
Scratch and paranoia
Do the crack dance!
:D

I love you how you are.
Everything.
Your face,
your hair,
your voice,
your ****,
your smile.
Don't disregard them.
Enjoy yourself for
who you are.
My blasphemous angel.
My dream girl.
My counterpart to the
******* sideshow.
Don't stop being who
you are.

The strength to continue,
that's what I have now.
To sally forth.
To rise from the ashes,
like a Phoenix given life.

If anyone tries to stop me,
I will cut them where they stand.

I will conquer my fears,
and swallow them whole.
Watch as I consume your hatred,
and **** it back out.

If anyone tries to stop me,
I will cut them where they stand.

Watch the **** out!
Watch the **** out!
Watch the **** out!
Watch the **** out!

If anyone tries to stop me,
I will cut them where they stand!

She says hello.
I give a distant reply.
I really don't know
the where, the how or why.

I keep hoping for some kind
of dream to realize.
She haunts the visions in my mind.
I try to keep these sighs from becoming cries.

I can't stop dreaming
of the love I have.
I can't stop dreaming
of the love I have.

Why the hell must I sleep alone?
Why the hell can't I hear you on the phone?

My eyes tear up
from all of these thoughts.
I just can't stop
thinking of you, whom I have not.

I wish I were stronger
than I am being right now.
That I could be with you longer,
but I just don't know how.

I can't stop dreaming
of the love I have.
I can't stop dreaming
of the love I have.

Why the hell must I worry?
Why the hell? I am sorry.

I can't stop thinking
I can't stop dreaming
I can't stop worrying
I can't stop loving

You.
You.
You.
You.

I feel bad for you
I can see it in your language
I can feel you in my veins
I can smell it in the air
My hatred and envy
In my eyes
In my heart
Why must tears flow faster than blood?
Dizzy now
Drunk on depression

Dumb *****
Look what you had
Dumb *****
You treated it bad
Dumb *****
I'm done with pain and tears
Dumb *****
To lose attention is one of your fears
Dumb *****
Look at you now
Dumb *****
Keeping the worst, though I don't see how.
Dumb *****
I still love you
Dumb *****
I dedicate this poem to you

Blow a load.
I would like it loose.
I don't care when or why.
I just need it.
Seven hundred ten just ahead.
Smoking would be nice.
I want to wreck everything you have.
I am like a parasite.
I ****
I ****
I ****
I ****.

She is the most beautiful creature on this whole earth flowing in the breeze like a moth to a flame I reason with these forces of nature but something opposes this a twist of fate a bitter twist of fate I just need to make it perfect a factor corrupts I can't control my temper a weird rapacious element of surprise a catch in the throat of real awareness towards something I love so much yet am never around. A blissful unawareness to darker elements I cannot compose anything more meaningful streaming from my mind to the fingers which type this out. I **** Hellopoetry with intelligent prose of which I am capable.

I don't care
to cut my hair.
Realism is important
on Halloween.
I may be bald,
but ******,
I'll still be ****.
With my visor,
shades,
smoke holder,
Hawaiian shirt,
and khaki shorts.
Everything will be just
GONZO.

I think I'm crazy.
Others will conclude the same.
Muddled brain is hazy,
makes everything seem so lame.

Do you know a freak when you see it?
A blistered monkey on my back.
Do you know a creep when you ***** him?
Another ****** has a heart attack.

I think you may be wrong.
Normal wastes the day away.
I wearily write this song,
as I try to begin my day.

Do you know a freak when you see it?
A blistered monkey on my back.
Do you know a creep when you ***** him?
Another ****** has a heart attack.

Not to exclaim "I'm a killer!"
But you see my knife is in your back.
Jesus claimed that we're all sinners,
and we all have some **** to smack.

Do you know a freak when you see it?
A blistered monkey on my back.
Do you know a creep when you ***** him?
Another ****** has a heart attack.

Another ****** has a heart attack.

One year.
It doesn't seem that long.
One year.
I think hard while writing this song.

We were so happy then
deep in the thralls of lust.
It was so much better then
when we weren't just echoes in the dust.

One year.
I'm not much of a writer.
One year.
The past was so much brighter.

A week had past
until we fell in love.
I wished it could last
until our spirits rose above.

One year.
This song is almost done.
One year.
I can't say I didn't have fun.

Now it's gone
and all I can say
is I'm sad I'm done.
I'm sad we drifted away.

Let's stay amiable.
Let's keep in touch.
Let's not end up in shambles.
Let hope shine when there isn't much.

Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary

How long has it been?
A while I am sure.
Positive I love you,
Positive I 'm not through.
You are my favorite love.

Because you are beautiful,
Intelligent and cool.
Really wish I could be with you,
To share the ambiance and view.
Happy doesn't begin to
Describe the feelings you give me.
A few minor problems can't keep me away from
Your sweet embrace.

Just can't tell others how much you mean to me.
A cute voice and face and so much more,
Could I count myself as one of the lucky? It
Kills me to think about the times we are apart.
It makes me sad, however I want you to know that you are
Everything to me and I love you with all of my heart.

Don't take what I say in anger to heart.
It ruins me.
I want you to be happy.
I don't want to hurt you anymore.
Disregard these angry rants.
I wish to say I'm sorry and to wish you luck.
If I could take back everything I would.
Jackie, I love you and I wish you find in someone else what you could not find in me.

High and *****
Don't ask for much
High and *****
Is what it is
High and *****
Likes to complain
High and *****
Gets way too excited
High and *****
Writes and beats
High and *****
Is more often than not
Sad and lonely

I'm thinking about becoming a pornographer.
I'm thinking about sitting behind a camera.
I'm thinking about being an unseen voice.
I'm thinking about nobody seeing any part of me
except my **** while it's being ******.

I'm thinking gingers with tight *****.
I'm thinking emo girls with *******.
I'm thinking of beauty being manipulated.
I'm thinking tall, slender, bearded men with long hair pounding the **** out of the biggest ****** in town.

***** attract me.
It just depends on my behavior.
I have a ****.
A nice one.
With ***** that make it look tiny.

I love ******
I love ******
I love ******.
I love ******.

I want you here.
Safe and in my arms.
I want to be with you
in every way possible.
*******!
Why do I have to **** up?
God ****!
I want us to be
together.
Can't you see
what you are doing to me?
Love
Lov
Lo
L

Intoxicated by sadness
I'm in love with my madness
Shoot the gun
Into your brain
I keep my face
Masked insane
Black my soul
Tear your hole
Angry *****
Of my dreams
Things just ain't
What they seem
Found somebody
Take your place
Smear my lust
All in your face

Selfish clam
gives no damns.
Angry wiener
is not a winner.

Bad ***
All ***
No ***
Good ***

Drunken folly,
me so solly.
Moaning rapture.
Fluids capture.

Right ***
Old ***
New ***
Wrong ***

Did you know that if you have one ball bigger than the other it is hard to eloquently pull of a bullfrog with your sack?

I'm coming
I'm coming
I'm coming
I'm coming
I'm coming
I'm coming

I pull you in with these tales of misfortune.
To make you feel better about the **** life you have.
No sympathy here.
Just a whole lot of misery.
Misery loves company.
Join me (us)
Join me (us)
Join us (me)
Join us (me)

Hard and can't stroke.
I wish you were here.
I would make you choke.
I am far and my moans you won't hear.

I want to ****.
****.
****.
****.

A gun shoots off,
a train enters a tunnel.
The volcano doesn't stop,
the fist begins to pummel.

I need to come.
Come.
Come.
Come.

I am drenched in sweat.
I am out of breath.
Please if you would let
me ******* to death.

Large
Stupid
*******.

You try so hard,
so hard to please.
Nothing comes
to you with ease.

I take my time,
watching the clouds roll by
as they slowly turn to grey.
For the times I was high
never took the thoughts away.

Leave it behind.
Leave it behind.

I cried so much,
I hurt so bad,
thinking about
the time we had.

Wash it away,
all the thoughts were there,
in the flesh under my hair.
Still thinking it would go somewhere.

Leave it behind.
Leave it behind.

What the hell is wrong?
What the hell have I become?

Another useless ****
pulled apart from the middle.
No ******* luck!
No, not even a little.

What the hell is wrong?
What the hell have you become?

Another selfish lie
pours out your hole.
You must be ******* high!
No ******* soul.

What the hell is wrong?
What the hell have we become?

Two estranged *****.
Can't keep peace.
Waiting for our fix!
Won't break the leash.

If I could run,
I would take a gun (with me)
Sing this song,
Sing this song as I cry (with you)

If I die, won't you?

I am doing fine without you.
I don't cry.
I have found someone else.
We are doing great together.
I love her.
You can't do better than me.
You won't last without me.
I could have you back anytime.

It's like being in a warm vat of viscous fluid when you are here,
and like being in a hive of razor stinger bees with rabies when you are not.
Comfortable buzz of which no drug can muster.
You are better than opiates.
My face so bitter and coarse, glows like florescent tubing in a flaming wreck.
No tears,
no anger,
just magic.
Magic I can't ignore.
Magic I must conjure.
As sinful as Satan himself.
My bewitching *****.

Boredom kills
cheap thrills.
Nothing to do,
no one to *****.
No drugs
No *****
No smokes
No fun
Think I will sit
for a bit.
Think as I scratch and twitch.
Neurotic fears
****** fantasies
Sociopathic comments
Psychopathic actions
I don't care anymore.
The fuse has been lit
and there is no water for miles.
Bang bang *******
bang bang boom.
Amongst the rubble a bitter poem
A poet in trouble that shouldn't have been left alone.
Burnt
Charred
Dead.
Smells like...
Agony
Fear
Dumbness
Numbness
Aggression
Depression
Hate.
­Hate.
Hate.
Hate.

Cannot find the words to say,
think I'll say something anyways.
Warm hands clasp around my waist,
white fluid doesn't go to waste.

Watching
losing
gaining
*******

I thought of something intelligent,
out of my mind is where it went.
Myself is growing at a rate most arrogant,
my hands are blistered thinking of the time I've spent

waiting
wanting
stroking
*******

Death is drawing near
My eyes begin to close
I see nothing in all its
Stark reality
Deep red from my stomach
Flows forth as I open my eyes
Again
I look up and see two suited men
They are arguing
I have a secret
Who am I?

I love you so much it makes me dumb.
I ****** you up, and so am I, **** it.
If I could taste you again, I would feel better again.
I'm drunk and ****** up. I want to stop caring. ****.
If I could change for you I would. I can't. I won't.
I like being me and I like you how you are.

I can't stop.
I won't stop.
I love you.
**** the world.

I'm stuck.
You're stuck.

Killer emotions about killers killing people
while I sing a pretty song about love.
I am not the only preacher in the steeple
to a God that doesn't reside above.

The voices tell me I am powerful.
That there are people who deserve to die.
The blood tastes sour. Full
of disease and monoxide.

Can you hear when the fire pops?
Can you see when the vein explodes?
Can my thoughts border on sublime?
Can my voice continue to lie?

Struggle
Struggle
Struggle
Struggle

Can you hear when the fire pops?
Can you see when the vein explodes?
Can my thoughts border on sublime?
Can my voice continue to lie?

Hurt you
Hurt you
Hurt you
Hurt you
Stop...

Numb,
Aching pain.
I'm sad again.
Will I get better?
Can I hide this *****
Shame from you people any longer?
Watch me bleed out from my eyes
And my veins. Blurring the lines between logic
And insanity. Rapacious appetite for drugs and women not
Sated. Maybe I can be like the rest of this
Town and blow out a vein or two. Maybe like others
In this town I have to have them while they are young.
Maybe I should be alone in a darkened room listening to Elliott Smith
Cutting myself, jerking off with my blood to emo girl ****, crying deeply. Numb
To your feelings and concern while you quietly overlook the insanity unfolding before you now.

I love my hate
So single and pure
It is never late
And I'm not too sure

Haphazard cuts
On your milky white face
A red door shuts
The vacant space

Bleeding down I am so clean
Let me view the sky so bleak
If you smile it must not work
******* clean from a ****** ****

If I **** you
Oh, will you be mine?

If I **** you
Oh, will you be mine?

Bled down I am now clean
I saw the skies, and they were weak
You started to cry, it started to work
I am raw, and I am the ****

So you think you're special
You're just a footnote
Of things to come

I could stop
Crying over you
Go out and find someone new

As a matter of fact that's just
What I'll do
******* I will come out of this
On top

On top
On top
On top
On top.

I'm better now.

I go through these phases
I don't want to leave the house
I want to drink my pain away
I want to beat the people responsible
Mercilessly
I want to cry rivers of tears
I want to die in a pool of blood
I want to kiss her one last time
I want to hurt myself
Eternally
Oh, can't you see what you've
Done to me
A wreck of a man
Doctors don't even understand
What's wrong with me
Beat myself to death
Beat myself to death
Beat myself
Beat myself
Beat

****** arousal
Pain
Black heart
Pain
Thoughts about
Pain
You are
Pain
I am
Pain
Lets ****
Painfully

Someone ease my pain.
It is seeping through my eyes
onto my skin.

****** wrists
and broken fists
mean nothing anymore.

Tears of a lonely buffoon
fill up all the debris in the room.

I take this as a sign
or a reaction,
maybe a reflection
of the pain I have caused.

My eyes sting,
my knuckles swell
while I sing
this song in my personal hell.

Take this as it comes
as it shall pass.
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass
Pass it away.

It is bliss,
the suffering.
Lamentations such as this
end up smothering.

The kid,
the Christ,
the *******,
the confused.

The unimaginable gift
inside my head.
The knife I lift
will end you dead.

The blood,
the sorrow,
the ***,
the end.

I'm a terrible human being
A nuisance
A freak
I am a terrible human being
A pessimist
A creep
I'm a terrible human being
I thought you would like to know
I am a terrible human being
Now it's time to go