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Frigid and shaking
It's all I am trying to feel
The hairs standing up on my neck
The shivers is such a thrill

I'm so alone and cold
In this icy shower
Has it been 15 minutes
Or has it been an hour

Take away the warmth of pain
I want to be cold and numb
Take out my beating heart
Make false winter air, fill my lungs.

Cold, shivering, and colorless eyes
The water didn't freeze my thoughts
And I still wondered why
Why I still wanted you so
Even though you so easily let me go

So here I reside, in my ice cold showers
Wasting minutes
Wasting hours
Until I forget
How you made me feel
How you made me think, I might have been real.
I dyed my hair again
To forget who I was.
To forget who I was.
When I had
Chestnut locks

I folded your shirt
Put it in a box
Put it in a box
So I could
Lose the memories

I lost myself
In a nightmare
In a nightmare
I had last night
About you

You tore me to pieces
Said "I love you"
"I love you"
But a hand around my neck
I'm gasping for air
"I love you too"
Is what you'd hear.
And with each passing day
I miss your structured face,
Steamy eyes,
And your subtle grace.

And with each summer breeze
I miss the way your hand feels
And the way you used to let me trace your palms.
How you used to stare at me
For just a little too long.

Missing you is constant now.
I always wish you were here.
When I miss kissing your cheek
And whispering in your ear.

Nothing is the same.
Not anymore
I wished for one thing,
Just being yours.
I am in a black abyss
Lined with the entrails of my victims
Dripping from my mouth
A mix of crimson and *****
What have I become?
Take 12
6 more
What will a couple more do?
Up to 25 
Where am I now?
Bliss
Sweet bliss
Sweet bliss dripping from my lips
Sweet bliss scarred on my hips 
A night of pain leading up to this
I love you, I do
Didn't you say you loved me too?
Come kiss me my love.
Come kiss this black abyss
Come lick the crimson off my lips.
I can't help but think
Every time we speak
About the last time I looked up at you
Not wanting to blink.
Who knew how cold you could feel
By a fire on a summer night
Just so you didn't have to pull away
So you could hold his hand so tight.

I can't help but be overwhelmed
With feelings I don't understand
You were the only one content,
With only holding my hand.
A kiss or two here
A hug or a few there
Whenever I needed you
You were always there.

I can't help but question
Your motives and thoughts
But all through the year
I searched for an opening into your heart
And here it might be
A way to ignite an old flame.
Is that what I see
Or are you having a picnic
And I am the rain?
I always wondered what I wanted to do
When I grow up.
What I would expect to be
When I rise early with the sun.

Conflicting mediocre talents
And lack there of
Testing my patience
Leaving me twiddling my thumbs.

To paint
Or sleep
To write
Or weep

Oh, out of all the decisions
I have to make
To decide which path
I want to pave.

Why must I pick a specific
One thing?
Can I just aspire to be
Well,
Something?
A little about me..

Jacquelyn Audrey
Nearly sixteen to others
Nearly nineteen to myself

Insane
Smart
Afraid of the dark
AnXiEtY
D e p r e s s i o n
BPD

Writer
Mezzo soprano to tenor
Painter

No impulse control
Worries too much
Cares too little

Likes being alone
But not being lonely

That's all I can really think of.
Like no other, it cares
Not always seen, but always there.
Complimenting words as if they were looks,
Such a great way with words, they belong in books.
Expressing their love and woe,
Though often cursed by crows.

A thousand miles or a couple feet
Something great happens when two writers meet.
They talk and talk, pretending they don't know
The secrets that their stories both told.
As they speak, they are mesmerized by how words dance out
Of each others soft spoken, but sometimes harshly written, mouths.

They hope they can memorize how words were said,
So that they could recite each others poems in their own head.
A writer's affection is like no other
And one complex talent, keeps it all together.
It will write you letters, and cause a drumming chest.
Take your breath away, and rid you of a mind's mess.

A letter for him, a letter for her.
A Writer's Affection,
a blessing and more.
Inspired by.. Some silly French dude (:
I get dolled up
For no good reason.
Hair and makeup
It's that season.

To get dolled up
With no where to go.
No one wants to party or hang out.
So I'm stuck, dolled up, alone.

What a doll face I have
So pale with light freckling.
Pursed lips, pink tint
Bright eyes, sparkling.

A cute curvy doll.
With dark chestnut above
Graced with a pretty face
That no one will love
Love isn't blind.

What else am I to I conclude,
When all the guys are crude?

They say looks don't matter
.....
As long as no one knows.
It looked nice in the beginning
Pretty paper and bows
Folded around a barren cage

But inside this cage,
This package of "love"
Is a flood of pain,
Someone he is ashamed of.

Love isn't blind
He can see perfectly fine.
He had promised in time,
That she could call him 'mine.'

Oh but what a nightmare is was
When she begged for love
Oh but what a joke it was
To see what he had done.

Love isn't blind
Or patient, or kind.
But love is definitely losing your mind.
An ode to the girls who have been through this kind of relationship. You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says. If they will kiss you in private, they can be man enough to be proud of the beautiful woman they have in their arms.
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