I watched you make one of the coldest moves in front of our reflection. You plunged through billowing smoke into areas that lacked any expression at all. I saw you shift away into various shades of pictures then run shrieking using all that you had seen as an excuse.  While all the while, I was arranging to tour the fields of you.

I saw headlines printed in places so that they became more than just this morning’s declarations. I really liked how you always understood all the tiny little windows you said they held because this is how you knew everything that was happening.  Yes, you knew it all.

There were hundreds of experiences I could hear asking me why you were making the coldest moves.  Yet, you acted as if you never heard them. Still, I saw the look in your eyes the minute they approached. Somehow, I could tell you knew that what you saw smiled and looked forward to not hearing what we both needed to say.

All I could do was shake my head and begin to face more puzzling hours filled with only you and your insistence that I adjust the temperature of the air you had frozen.  I wondered how anyone could stand and look at you and not be startled by who you are.

Blurs of agitation too strange for even me to identify looked over my shoulder with excitement.  They were not there to inhale my perfume only to seek out my scars. The scars that visit my heart from time to time to remind me they can still hold my arms back from reaching out to you.

Even though you laid right next to me we could no longer find each other in the billowing smoke that issued from our breath.  Ice had begun to form between our hearts within the coldest moves.  There we lay in the darkness both of us looking for the best place to hide.

Take my word for it, as this was not an illusion.  I swear I saw cold clouds hanging over the bed laughing at you and me. Because we didn’t have the faintest idea that the darkness wasn’t real or how close we lay to what could make us warm again.

These thoughts twisting inside of me
Curling up just below the surface
Taking my head and clutching it close to my heart
Trying to listen to the hum of feelings
I can't stand up anymore

Wind drinking my skin
It's so cold
Nothing like it used to be
Is this the world you wanted me to see
Your kind moving quietly around me
Looking back at me

I remember whispering in your ear
Telling secrets you'd never know
Your fingers were afflicted with a nervous itch
Pointing like nails to pin my insides to the ground
All these people like golden souls crawling this way and that
Spotting every dark corner below the surface

There you are, flying over me
Playing with things unseen
I'm lingering in the dark
Pulling clouds low to forget this ground
Darling, lay your head down for me

All around me, jackhammers and timebombs
I feel insane, dropping below the still waters
Phosphorescent white blotting this soul out into the open
Twisting thoughts inside of me
Beneath the skin I'll run away
Under the waves I'll crawl to some distant shore
I'll try to hold on, I'm losing the fight
I'll try to hold on, I'm slipping away
I'll come back again
If I can.

Lying quietly

The sea comes to wash

Over

The sin's

In my heart

Lying quietly

I see your truth

and i love this

Lying quietly

I hear

The rythmn of your soul

My eyes

Betray me

And the sea washes

My truth away

When first lightning struck proclaiming this Changefulstorm  
Silver waves delighted turns as fickle as the wind
Streaming sunbeams refused to conform
As I watched torrential rains
Twist and bend

No fear wailed within my breast as black clouds rolled in
I eagerly waited to be swept into this joy
While knowing  that all I held within
Embraced my storm’s failed
Attempts to be coy

A raging hurricane, she is not, yet how her winds do blow
See her smiling through the pouring rain
Sunbeams shine as lightning flows
The best of both worlds
Unrestrained

First lightning struck on the brightest and darkest day
Each became at once separately the same
A better self appeared to me too say
Changefulstorm shall be
Your name