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David Bird Feb 2010
I laughed and dropped my soft panda
I needed another good gander
  No, I was right!
  It wasn't my sight
Bonnie Scotland thrashed Uganda!
After being butchered by Kenya, Scotland ease to a comfy win over Uganda. A few days later they lost to the mighty US of A. Oh the depths of despair - is there no bottom?
David Bird Feb 2010
Andy Murray lost in the final
Some said he lacked something spinal
  That ****** Fed
  I don't wish him dead
But I'd stick his head in a ******.
......
I know it's not cricket, but I happen to like tennis too.
Andy Murray "lost" the Australian Open final.
Is it a failure?  No.
Should he have done better?  He should have won the 3rd set.
Could he have won?  Yes, but Fed was too hot that day.
Will he win a slam?  Yes.
David Bird Feb 2010
Who bowls without being too speedy?
Who'd bowl 'til his fingers were bleedy?
  For England he should
  But selection no good
Lancashire's leftie, Gary Keedy.
........
The quality left arm spinner that really should have played for England. Bowled so well for years. Taught Murali all he knew.
David Bird Feb 2010
An ode to my beautiful wife
Who is really the love of my life
  In all of our years
  We've had so few tears
I can't even remember much strife

Now truly she doesn't like cricket
Or my nose, should I stupidly pick it
  And the money I spend
  Drives her right round the bend
So my wallet, she's no choice but nick it

Yes, we have two kids and six cats
The latter delieverd two rats
  but the oddest thing
  They decided to bring
To our house were a couple of bats.

We were drinking and watching the telly
When Becksy cat did something smelly
  It happened we saw
  Her *** was rubbbed raw
And she needed pretroleum jelly.

When the time reaches much after nine
Unless we've been into the wine
  It's off to the bed
  For resting of head
Hey that's not your pillow, it's mine.

Our daughters are Issy and Jess
They turn cleanliness into a mess
  Whatever we do
  By quarter past two
We're under some strain and more stress.

We really do love our great daughters
For all of the things that they taught us
  And all of the grind
  Gets left well behind
When a hug is the best gift they brought us
..........
I think she'd had more than enough of my cricket crud.  This one came to me with a pleasing amount of ease.  However, I'm not entirely happy with the 5th verse.
David Bird Feb 2010
Leicestershire's Alan Mullally
Loved getting a 5 wicket tally
  Landing the seam
  On wickets of green
Would drive the opponents do-lally.

He was tall and he was lean
But he was never really mean
  He kept it tight
  Thru day and night
The best that Leicestershire's seen

One day he scored twenty-four
Pakistan were on the floor
  He hit it miles
  Akram had piles
That just might settle the score.

In the world he reached number two
It was a lovely thing to do
  He bowled so straight
  He moved it late
A great seamer through and through.
Written on 4th February 2010.
As a Leicestershire fan, I loved 'Big Al Mullall' (how I once heard Bumble refer to him).

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